Unanswered Prayers
by somandyjo
Summary: The classic twist of Mr. Bennet dies, Darcy offers a marriage of protection, and he and Elizabeth must work through their pride and prejudices without being able to escape one another.
1. Chapter 1

(1)

_This story begins the morning after Darcy's proposal to Elizabeth, and after he's given her his letter. She's still on her walk reading the letter, and Darcy and the Colonel arrive at the parsonage to take their leave. _

Charlotte welcomed the gentlemen into her parlor when Sally announced them. She and Maria exchanged pleasant greetings with them, and then the Colonel asked after Elizabeth.

"She's still out walking this morning, I'm afraid," said Charlotte. "She will regret missing your visit, I am sure."

"Richard, I must return to Rosings to finish our leave preparations," Darcy said rather abruptly, as he rose, deciding he'd rather avoid seeing Elizabeth again, "If you wish to wait for a chance to visit longer, I should be another hour before I am ready." He then turned to Charlotte "I wish to thank you for your company during our visit, Mrs. Collins."

He bowed and was moving to leave when Sally burst back through the doorway. "I have an express from Longbourn that must be given to Miss Bennet without delay, madam!" she exclaimed. Darcy took in the worried look on Mrs. Collins's face, hesitating. He did not want to make the offer, but knew he likely had the best knowledge of Elizabeth's current whereabouts.

He took a fortifying breath, and then offered, "Mrs. Collins, I crossed paths with Miss Bennet while walking this morning, and may be able to find her."

Charlotte looked a little relieved, "I would be grateful if you could, sir, as Eliza's family is not one to overuse an express, and I believe this is truly urgent."

Darcy turned and requested his hat and coat from the maid, and then exited the parsonage in search for Elizabeth for the second time that morning. He hoped he could find her quickly, so that he could escape again. He was still trying to accept that he'd read her feelings toward him so poorly, and didn't think he could handle any more of her apparent hatred. Had he really been so wrapped up in his own needs that he hadn't stopped to consider her feelings at all? Thinking back over their conversations, he contemplated her teasing. He'd thought it was meant to be flirtatious, but taken in the new light of her true feelings, he could see how it would be a way for her to mask her contempt within the rules of polite society. He found his ability to inspire such disgust from her distressing.

He wondered how many other of his acquaintances viewed him in the same light. Did they see him as selfish and uncaring? Was he selfish and uncaring? He treated people well, didn't he? He thought about the people close to him; his family, his true friends, the people in service to his households, and his tenants. They were respected, cared for, and he put their well-being before his own. He liked to think he was a good, honorable man. He then thought to those unconnected to him, especially those he didn't expect to remain in his life for more than a passing amount of time. He generally tried to avoid interacting with them, he supposed. Sometimes the avoidance was for self-preservation, when he thought of the match-making mothers and their clinging daughters, desperate to marry well. The easiest way to discourage them was to be disinterested. Virtual strangers were constantly trying to ingratiate themselves with him. But then, when had he stopped caring if any of them were genuine? How long had it been since he'd given anyone new a chance? He could see how his reserve among strangers could be considered arrogance. He made no effort to hide it.

He looked up the path he was walking down, and saw Elizabeth. She looked to be sitting on a fallen trunk, and heaven help him, still reading his letter. How had he dug himself into this awful hole? How would he be received? Had she at least acquitted him of cruelty toward Wickham?

He thought about Elizabeth's way with people. She treated everyone well, even if they didn't deserve it. He and Caroline Bingley were perfect examples. Caroline had been rude, condescending, and downright malicious at times, and yet Elizabeth had deflected her scorn with a pleasantness that showed her intelligence and grace. She could barely stand him, yet he couldn't even tell. He realised then, when looking back again, that she must have been irritated with him in conversation, yet she had never been rude. She even deflected his aunt's ridiculous inquisition (it could hardly be called anything less) without aggravating a woman that took little provocation to set off. Her warmth toward everyone, her obvious caring for those she loved was what had attracted him to her. He'd wanted so badly to be included in that circle of caring.

When he got close enough for normal conversation, he braced himself for a strong reaction and called out her name to draw her attention. She started and looked up, and he saw her face clearly under the brim of her hat for the first time. She appeared to have been crying. She stood up, sliding the letter into her jacket pocket.

She murmured, "Mr. Darcy."

He nearly sighed in relief. He'd expected a sharp greeting, but she looked quiet and uncomfortable. Maybe a little confused. She didn't appear to be gearing up for an argument, thank God. He still didn't relish intruding on her solitude to bring her to possibly bad news.

"Miss Bennet, I apologize for interrupting you," _again_ he thought, "but there is an urgent express for you at the parsonage. I offered to find you and escort you back as quickly as possible." He felt that if he could pretend that nothing was amiss, this extremely painful moment wouldn't need to get any worse.

_A/N: I know, I know, it's been done. I've never been satisfied with any of the other versions of this, so I'm giving it a shot. I hope to update weekly, but this is a true work-in-progress, and I'm posting as I write. I know how I want the story to go, but fleshing out what I hope becomes a quality story may not always go as I plan. I don't expect it to be novel length, since, while I marked it angst, I don't intend to make it overly painful. As a result, I'm not going to throw in any major twists. My major beef with previous versions are generally whiny/childish Lizzys and too silent, secretive, and brooding Darcys. This is what I think would happen if they stayed as true to character as I can keep them while being thrown together._

_Thanks in advance for any criticism, I'm by far no professional. _


	2. Chapter 2

(2)

After the initial shock of seeing Mr. Darcy seeking her out had settled enough for her to think again, Elizabeth replied with a quiet thank you that came out as more of a question than anything. He had interrupted her self-recriminating, and it was disconcerting. She scrambled to come up with something to say that didn't seem trite or taboo, and blanked. She was too mortified of her own blindness toward the entirety of their acquaintance to speak. When Mr. Darcy nodded in the direction of the parsonage and gestured slightly with his hand, she was relieved that he didn't appear to expect conversation. She had never been so thankful for his ability to be silent! She was well aware that she'd misjudged his character terribly. How he could stand to be in her presence, she did not know.

As they began the walk back to the parsonage, Elizabeth let out a long breath, and then glanced over at her companion. He must have seen the signs of her distress, and the letter still in her hand when he came upon her. His face gave nothing away, however. She didn't have a good enough view of his eyes to see what lay there. Then again, it would likely do her no good to see them, since she'd quite obviously read them poorly anyway. She felt like such fool.

Elizabeth was grateful that Mr. Darcy had come upon her after her second perusal of the letter. If he'd have found her after the first, she would have been indignant and, to her chagrin, would have told him so. After this second reading, though, she had to admit that Fitzwilliam Darcy was not the abominable man she'd made him out to be. She still felt he was arrogant, and above his company, but those paled in comparison to the two character deficiencies she been so quick to assign to him. He'd shown his willingness to do what he felt was necessary for the happiness of his friend. While he'd been misguided in his belief of Jane's indifference, Elizabeth remembered Charlotte's same opinion, that Jane hadn't shown enough of her feelings. He was completely acquitted of all wrongdoing toward Mr. Wickham, and had quite clearly been the victim. His caring for his sister, too was as an admirable trait. She could not see fault in those. She no longer had any true grievances against him. Rude behavior didn't give her an excuse to hate the man.

Those thoughts moved her to the subject of his sister. Her heart ached for a girl who'd not only had her parents taken from her before she was ready to be out in the world, but her innocence as well. To be exposed to false love so soon, must have devastated her self worth. In true caring, but also with a desire to let Mr. Darcy know of her belief in his letter and have some conversation to cover this awkwardness, Elizabeth asked about her.

"Mr. Darcy, is Miss Darcy, if you don't mind my asking, is she much recovered?" Elizabeth paused here, and then charged on, "I can only imagine the events of the summer must have been a blow to her, and I, well..." Elizabeth sensed Mr. Darcy stiffening beside her. _I am not wording this well, _she thought. It was not like her to be so tongue-tied! "I am sorry, it is not my place - "

"Miss Bennet, please," Darcy interrupted, "Do not make yourself uneasy. I appreciate your concern." He was startled by what he thought was her indication that she believed him. While he had hoped the letter would help, he had bitterly seen the unlikeliness of it. Darcy felt a warmth steal through his heart, at the possibility. Perhaps she no longer hated him completely. He released the tension brought on by the surprise.

"While I would wish to see her more like her old self, she is," he paused for the right word, "she is improving." He hesitated again, and then, wishing the conversation to continue, decided to add, "She has come far from where she was in the summer, and even since autumn." He hoped Elizabeth would understand some of his hesitancy in company while in Hertfordshire was due to the disaster of last summer. He knew he was not easy in company, and had admitted as much to her by the pianoforte at Rosings a fortnight ago. "She would benefit greatly from genuine friends," he finished.

Elizabeth wondered if the friends he'd been thinking of included herself, if she'd have accepted him. "Is it difficult then, for Miss Darcy to make friends?" She asked.

"She has found it difficult to discern the genuine from the false in the past, which has been exacerbated by her misfortune of summer. She has been falsely courted by ladies who would use her for her connections before. Now I worry that she will view the risk of misinterpreting others' motives not worth new friendships." He worried that she would become as mistrusting and reserved as himself. Oh, how he wished her naivete hadn't been torn from her!

The pair had, by now, reached the parsonage gate. On the way to the door, Elizabeth was trying to remember if they'd ever had a conversation before where she hadn't been annoyed by Mr. Darcy. She'd labeled him as aggravating from the beginning, and had used that to find the worst in everything he'd said. Knowing now how he'd felt about her, she'd probably misconstrued his motives behind nearly everything he'd said. She felt mortified all over again. She wished for time to review their previous conversations, to try and see them in this new light.

Darcy was thrilled that she cared enough to ask after his sister. He felt a sliver of hope begin to enter his heart. He tried to push it down, reasoning that concern for his sister was far from caring for him, but he couldn't erase it completely. He loved her too much for that.

As they entered the house, Elizabeth handed her outerwear to Sally, and Darcy followed with his. He guided her toward Charlotte's back parlor, but stayed near the doorway while she entered. She immediately moved to her friend to receive the express, thanking Mr. Darcy as she did so. Darcy watched Elizabeth as he and Colonel Fitzwilliam were making their final goodbyes, and was therefore the first to see her expression fall. She cried out a distressed "No!" and collapsed into the chair behind her. By the time Darcy crossed the room to her side, she'd wrapped her arms around her middle and was rocking slightly in her seat as she began to cry, letting out a keening wail. The sound tore at his heart. What would cause her such anguish?

"Miss Bennet!" Darcy cried out as he moved close to her. "What has happened?" he asked more gently, as he knelt at her side. When she still couldn't answer, after a few moments he reached out carefully and laid his hand on her upper arm, "Miss Elizabeth?" he tried again.

It must have pulled her out of her reverie, because she brokenly cried out, "Papa, oh God, I can't!" She shuddered out a breath, and then began sobbing again.

Darcy leaned down and picked up the note, hoping she'd forgive his intrusion. He scanned the few lines, and saw it was from her sister Mary.

_Lizzy,_

_Please come home as soon as you can, we need you. Papa has collapsed and is gone. Mama has taken to her room, and the household is in confusion. Please, we need your and Jane's presence._

_Mary_

His heart broke for her. He wouldn't wish this pain, that he knew all too well, on anyone. _Oh, Elizabeth!_

Elizabeth took a couple of deep, shuddering breaths and pulled herself together. Her family needed her, and she needed to be with them. Home, she needed a way home, as quickly as possible. She needed to be doing something, moving forward somehow.

"Charlotte, when does the stagecoach leave?" she looked to her friend as she asked. "Can I still get on it today?"

Her arms began to relax, but she didn't push Darcy's hand away, to his relief. He so badly wished to comfort her.

"I believe it leaves at eleven, so it is gone for today," Charlotte responded, "but, Eliza, what has happened? What is wrong?" She didn't move in her friend's direction, seeing how Mr. Darcy was with her. Had he already made his intentions known? She did not wish to interfere.

"Papa is dead. He's gone. Oh God!" She let out a few more sobbing breaths, and cradled her middle again, turning her face back down. "I need to get home," she whispered.

"We can take you to London, can't we, Darcy?" interjected the Colonel. "There's plenty of room in Darcy's carriage, and we can smuggle one of our aunt's maids with us, so that Miss Lucas doesn't need to leave, too."

Why hadn't he thought to offer that? "Certainly," replied Darcy. "Would you be meeting Miss Bennet at your uncle's house?" he asked. "We could take you there directly, and today. It would save you a day's travel and the headache of arranging to get from the coaching station to your uncle's. We would have you there by dinner time tonight, so that you may travel to Hertfordshire immediately in the morning."

Elizabeth was surprised at how quickly they offered. That he would be willing to do this for her, even if put up to it by his cousin, after her treatment of him! He was so much better of a man than she'd given him credit for. He was under no obligation to her. She didn't wish to question if he had motives, she was so grateful, and she told him so.

"If you could, if you do not mind, you have my gratitude," she told him, with feeling. She would be able to return to Longbourn with Jane and the Gardiners without causing them to wait for her.

He sighed to himself, knowing that he wanted so much more than her gratitude. But he would take being able to help her. He needed to show her that he was not the man she believed him to be, if for nothing else but his own peace of mind. Her acceptance of his carriage was a start. He also genuinely wanted to do anything he could to ease her pain.

"It is nothing, to help a friend in need," he replied, "and we'd hardly be going out of our way. We will return to Rosings now, and I expect we'll be back within the hour. Can you be ready by then?"

She replied to the affirmative and Darcy finally removed his hand from her arm. They were both surprised to see that it had stayed this entire time. He gave her a feeling look, and then stood. The gentlemen left, and Elizabeth heard the front door close before she stood. She looked to her friend. Charlotte had a curious expression on her face, but Elizabeth did not wish to answer questions now. As if sensing this, Charlotte didn't ask. Instead she came forward and embraced her dear friend.

"My dear Eliza, I am so sorry," she said. "Let me help you pack, so that you may be ready when the gentlemen return."

"Thank you, Charlotte," Elizabeth replied, not letting go of her friend. Charlotte held her for a few minutes while she sobbed. She pulled herself together again, and away from the embrace. The ladies moved for the stairs, both quiet. They were saddened, but while they didn't say it, a part of their minds were also on the gentleman from the north.

_A/N: Sad, I know. It has to be depressing, with the loss of Mr. Bennet. We all know that Lizzy is not made for melancholy, though, and she will weather this well. We will move to her enduring cheerfulness again. :)_

_I took the liberty of moving Darcy and the Colonel's leaving up a day, to allow them to be there when the express arrived, and to offer a genuinely better alternative than a stage coach. I know a lot of writers put her on a post coach when she travels, but from what I've read, those often traveled at night, because the roads were clearer and they could move faster. That doesn't work so well with my schedule, so stage it is! Serves the same purpose._

_Thank you for the encouraging reviews, they are a great confidence booster. I cannot believe how well that first, short chapter was received! This one is coming out sooner than expected, mostly due to extra free time this weekend. Thanks!_


	3. Chapter 3

(3)

Elizabeth wept as she packed her trunk. She wept because she missed her father already. She wept because she, her mother, and her sisters were losing their security, and maybe even their home. She wept for the debates she and and her father would never get to have; the books they'd never get to discuss. She wept because her father never got to walk any of his daughters down the aisle at their weddings. She wept because he'd never get to hold a grandchild in his arms. So many things they'd never get to do.

Charlotte quietly helped Elizabeth pack her trunk. There were no words she could think of to console her friend. She couldn't even offer the comfort of guaranteeing their home. She was well aware of her husband's resentment toward her friend. While he was not a vicious man, Mr. Collins felt misused by Elizabeth, and by extension, her family. She was satisfied with her decision to marry him, but she was not unaware of his display when their guest arrived. Charlotte worried that, while he wouldn't remove them from Longbourn, he would be clear that he didn't want them there. She could only imagine how awkward that would be for all of them. The best she could offer her friend was to help her escape before her husband found out. She could at least protect Elizabeth from seeing the inappropriate happiness this would bring Mr. Collins. It might only be a delay, but the initial moment would hopefully be the worst. The loss meant nothing to him, and he had everything to gain. For herself, she felt nothing. She had not expected this for many years, and there was no excitement when it cost her friend so much.

They finished packing the trunk in silence. There was nothing to be said. For Elizabeth, it was enough that her friend was there. She did not wish to be alone with her thoughts yet, they were too much. She needed to stay busy, to keep herself occupied, with even the most basic activities. All too soon, they were done. They left the room together, and Charlotte called for assistance in bringing the trunk downstairs. They stopped at the kitchen next, where a small luncheon basket was requested. With that finished, Elizabeth slowly moved to the front hall, where Sally was waiting with her outerwear once again. She glanced at the hall clock and saw that she hopefully had only a few minutes to wait. She was not anticipating being closed in a carriage with Mr. Darcy with any degree of pleasure, but she was anxious to be home. She could only hope that he wouldn't spend the entire trip staring at her silently. That would make this nearly unbearable. They went outside to await the gentlemen.

Almost as soon as they stepped out, they could see the carriage coming up the lane. Elizabeth turned to Charlotte and embraced her again, more tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Oh, this will never do," she said in frustration, "l do not wish to spend the ride weeping!"

Charlotte gave her a final squeeze, and then a sympathetic look as she pulled away. "I don't think anyone in that carriage will mind if you do. It's not like you don't have good reason."

As the carriage came to a halt, she added, "We will probably see you in a few days. I would expect the funeral to be midweek, and I do not see any reason why we would need to be in Hertfordshire before Monday."

Elizabeth saw the meaning behind what Charlotte meant, and showed her gratitude with a look and a simple "Thank you."

Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy descended from the carriage, followed by a maid. They approached the ladies and introduced the girl.

"Mrs. Collins, Miss Bennet," said Mr. Darcy, "I'd like to introduce you to Nel. She will be accompanying us to London." Turning to Elizabeth, he added gently, "If you are ready, Miss Bennet, we should depart."

Elizabeth nodded and headed for the carriage, behind Nel, while Darcy stayed back for a moment to speak with Charlotte. The Colonel helped her inside, waited for her to take a seat, and then followed her in, sitting across from Nel. A few moments later, Darcy joined them, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Do you need anything else before we depart, Miss Bennet?" he asked. At the shake of her head, he tapped on the roof and they were off.

Elizabeth, disconcerted by having Darcy sit directly across from her, kept her face turned toward the window. One glance had been enough to see that he was looking directly at her. Now that she had time to sit and think, she was going to need to be careful if she didn't want to end up a mess of tears again. Even if no one with her would mind, she did not want the headache that would result. She looked over at Darcy again, and to her surprise, he was looking out the window now. Apparently he was not going to stare at her the entire trip with that unreadable look. Even though, now that she knew how he felt about her, she wondered if he'd been admiring her. But why look so solemn? Was it because she was unacceptable as a wife? Maybe the internal battle was so frustrating that he was as annoyed as he looked.

Elizabeth moved her thoughts to his proposal. In this new light of her and her family's virtual poverty and soon to be nearly complete dependence on their relations' charity, she wondered if she could regret her refusal. Would Mr. Darcy support her family if they were married? She thought, with her newly gained knowledge, that he would have simply for the obligation if nothing else. But would she have been allowed to spend time with them? She wondered if he would have tried to cut her off. If he despised her family that much, and considered marrying her a degradation, as he'd clearly stated, that did not bode well for lasting affection. She could only imagine the eventual disaster of the relationship. Her power would sink over time, and he would grow to regret his decision. How long before he would resent her completely? It would have been worse than her own parents, where at least they'd had mutual affection that had slowly dissolved into indifference. She and Mr. Darcy would have despised each other in a matter of years. She shuddered; no financial security was worth that. She would sooner find work as a governess to support her mother and sisters.

Darcy looked up at her shudder and asked, "Miss Bennet, are you warm enough?" She replied in the affirmative and went back to looking out the window.

He wondered what she was thinking about. Was she worried about her family's security? He knew that her home was entailed to Mr. Collins, and Caroline Bingley had intimated that the girls had virtually no dowry to speak of. What would they live on? Would they continue at Longbourn? How long could they depend on Mr. and Mrs. Collins to be fine with them underfoot? Would Elizabeth be open to marrying him now? Even if it was just for the security of her family? Did he still want to marry her, knowing how she felt about him? He still loved her, to be sure, and she had given him enough credit to believe his side of the story about his dealings with Wickham. But was that enough? Did she still consider him the last man in the world she could ever marry? He felt so strongly that she was a good match for him. He lived for her lively smiles and her intelligent conversation. If he went down that path, he could see them having their debates in a more intimate setting, and he felt warm at the thought. Sitting in the comfort of his library at Pemberley, he could probably discuss crop rotation with her and find it fascinating. Her sparkling eyes and love for life would bring him such joy. Life with Elizabeth Bennet would never be boring. Could he make her see that he wasn't as bad as she'd made him out to be? Would she be able to eventually love him in return? Was he okay with her never loving him?

Darcy let out a small sigh, which attracted his cousin's attention, causing him to raise an eyebrow. He didn't know how Fitzwilliam had kept quiet so far. He couldn't remember a time when a carriage ride with his cousin hadn't been filled with talk. He supposed it was for Elizabeth's sake. They wouldn't want to accidentally stumble on a topic that upset her. He could see burning questions in his cousin's eyes, but hoped he'd wait until the safety of Darcy house before he pounced. Darcy wasn't looking forward to this conversation, but if it had to happen, his study was the preferred place.

Darcy checked his watch, and saw that they were only about a quarter hour from their anticipated arrival in Bromley. They'd have a short rest there before continuing on to London. He decided to try to speak to Elizabeth. He needed to take this opportunity, to see if he could have a chance. If she refused, it was highly unlikely he'd ever see her again. He wouldn't be much worse off than he was after last night, and he wouldn't have to live with the regret of wondering. Now he only needed to come up with a way to get her somewhat alone. He could try to enlist Fitzwilliam's help, he supposed. That wouldn't reduce the questions for later, but if it gave him time with Elizabeth, so be it.

They reached the outskirts of Bromley and made their way to the coaching inn there. The carriage came to halt, the gentlemen exited, and Darcy whispered his need to speak to Miss Bennet alone to his cousin, before helping Elizabeth down. He moved back to allow the Colonel to help Nel.

"Do you need to refresh yourself in the inn, Miss Bennet?" he asked. At her negative, he then decided to be up-front about speaking with her, "Then, if you don't mind, I would like to speak with you for a moment."

She looked a little startled and hesitated, but answered with an affirmative. Darcy offered her his arm, and after another moment, she took it. He led her away from the others, but kept her in the open. Darcy, knowing that he only had few moments, decided to be short and to the point.

"Miss Bennet, I realise that you have already told me that you have no interest in marrying me, but I thought, perhaps with your change in status, you would change your mind. I would wish to offer for you again," he said hurriedly.

Elizabeth froze. She closed her eyes and tried to keep a tight hold on her emotions. She knew she couldn't afford to be very choosy anymore, but still, how on earth could he think they would be compatible? How could he be so insensitive as to ask on the day she found out her father died? She should have anticipated this possibility and come up with a reasonable response. She did not want respond angrily again. She must have taken too long to answer, because Darcy spoke again.

"Miss Bennet?" he asked, and then rushed on, "I wish to know that you are safe. I do not think I could live with myself if I knew you had to degrade yourself because of your circumstances, and I could have prevented it. If you were to take a position in a household where you were taken advantage of, you could be ruined. On the other hand, if you find yourself in the position of needing to marry, why shouldn't it be me? I can and would take care of your family, and you would know they were safe. I would treat you well, Miss Bennet."

Elizabeth held her hand up at this and said, "Please, Mr. Darcy, a moment," and she was quiet again.

She could see his reasoning, and she could agree with his concerns, but could she marry him? She needed time to think! Was her life truly going to be so awful, that this would be her best option? Could she ask for time?

"Mr. Darcy," she finally replied, "I appreciate what you are offering me, especially a second time, when I was already cruel to you before. Do I need to answer immediately, or can I have time?"

Darcy hesitated, glad she wasn't rejecting him outright, or getting angry.

"What kind of time?" He asked. How long would he need to wait?

"A few weeks?" she requested. "I would like time with my family, for my life to settle. This is likely the single, most important decision I will make in my life," she said, "and I do not wish to choose rashly." She paused here, "You say that you want me, yet you speak of my circumstances as a degradation, of me as a known poor choice."

Darcy interrupted, "No!"

But Elizabeth kept speaking, "I do not know what you are genuinely thinking, but I know what I hear. If you wish to marry me, I would like time to decide if the possibility of you coming to regret and resent me is worth what you are offering. I am sorry if this offends you, but if a marriage occurs, I think openness and honesty will be necessary for us to even have a chance. We have misunderstood each other too much for anything else."

A horrified look crossed Darcy's face during this declaration. His jaw clenched. She had rendered him genuinely speechless. Was this what she truly believed? Good Lord, no wonder she had refused him the first time!

He could not deny her good sense, though, in asking for time. He was starting to see that he might need a little reflection himself. He needed to figure out how to speak to her without constantly causing offense.

He finally asked, "How do you propose we meet again? Do you wish for me to call on you at Longbourn in a few weeks?"

"No," she replied, "because if we decide to the negative, I do not wish to give reason for questions." She thought for a moment and then asked, "Would you be willing to call on me at my aunt and uncle's home in London?"

He would do anything for a chance with her, it seemed.

"Of course," he replied, "but how will I know when to come?"

"Will you be staying in London for at least the next month?" At his affirmative, she went on, "If you will allow me to introduce you to my uncle when we arrive, I will ask him to call on you when I return to town. My aunt and uncle are very discreet, and will not gossip. Also, if we agree, I would rather you asked his permission, since I am not yet of age, than my mother. Does this meet your approval?"

She had ordered everything so well, even though she had appeared so surprised. His estimation of her rose further. This waiting was going to be a trial like no other.

"I can see no fault in your plan, Miss Bennet, and I will respect your wish for time. May I just say that I truly believe that I could never come to regret marrying you? No man in his right mind could," he replied.

She acknowledged this with a raised eyebrow. There was nothing more to be said at the moment, as they both needed time to reflect. He offered her his arm once more, and they headed back to the carriage. Their companions were waiting for them as it was.

_A/N: The point of this AU is to force them to learn and grow with each other. Much more painful. Bring on the awkward, uncomfortable, and unfiltered truth. :) _


	4. Chapter 4

(4)

The second leg of the trip was turning out just as quiet as the first. The silence was making Colonel Fitzwilliam antsy. He had noticed Miss Bennet and Darcy's emotional conversation, and now his cousin's introspection, and could barely contain his questions. His companions were so lost in thought, though, that he doubted they'd notice if he spoke. All except for Nel, and it would be a bit untoward for him to strike up a casual conversation with her. He sighed. His cousin owed him some excellent port and answers for this!

They reached London, and turned toward streets that neither of gentlemen in the carriage was familiar with. They worked their way toward Cheapside, not quite reaching it when they stopped. After he descended from the carriage, Darcy looked up at the house and around the immediate neighborhood. He was a little surprised at the quality of the homes. While they weren't Darcy House in Mayfair, few were, they were bigger and better kept than he'd expected. He turned to help Elizabeth out, grateful that she hadn't been able to see his face, in case he'd not masked his surprise well. He wasn't sure if she'd be offended, and he'd rather not do that again soon. The door was opened by a butler when they reached it. This time Darcy was sure he was able to hide his surprise, for which he was thankful, since Elizabeth was walking next to him.

Elizabeth could see his face, and checked it when the door was opened, but his expression was impassive. If he was horrified by her relations' home, he wasn't showing it.

"Thank you, James," she said to the butler as he took their things, "is my uncle at home? We need to speak with him."

"Yes, Miss Elizabeth, he is. Mr. Gardiner is in his study, and Mrs. Gardiner is in the family sitting room with Miss Jane and the children. Would you like me to fetch Mr. Gardiner for you?"

"Yes, and would you take Nel with you? It may be more than a few minutes before the gentlemen leave again, and I would like her to be comfortable. Mrs. Davenport will probably welcome her in the kitchen. Could you let my aunt know that we have guests, as well? Thank you again, James," she said as the James took their outerwear and disappeared with Nel.

Elizabeth led the group further into the house, turning a corner to her uncle hurrying down the corridor to them. He glanced at Mr. Darcy and the Colonel, and she could see him taking in the cut of their clothing. She could almost hear the questions working in his mind.

"Lizzy," he said as he took her hand and squeezed it tightly between his own, "I'm glad you arrived safely. I must say, I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow." He left it at that, waiting for her to explain herself.

"Uncle, I would like you to meet Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. They were staying with their aunt in Kent, who also happens to be Mr. Collins's patroness. They were due to return to London today, and happened to be taking their leave when the express arrived. Knowing that I wanted to come as soon as possible, they offered to bring me."

His face showed surprise at this. Elizabeth knew that it made no sense for gentlemen of their status to offer her transportation, and he may not have seen Nel. He was undoubtedly worried about her. She didn't particularly want to stay in Mr. Darcy's presence, and since that gentleman wanted to speak privately with her uncle, she decided to let him explain. She was unconcerned about what he would say, since Mr. Gardiner had enough sense to not jump to conclusions. She might not get to be alone with Jane and her aunt, but she could at least shed the looming presence of Mr. Darcy.

"Mr. Gardiner, may I have a few minutes?" asked Darcy, "I'd like a word."

"Certainly sir. Lizzy dear, would you mind taking Colonel Fitzwilliam to meet your aunt? That is if you don't mind, Colonel."

"Not at all, Mr. Gardiner."

He turned to Elizabeth and offered his arm, "Lead the way, Miss Bennet." Elizabeth gave him a small smile as she led him away.

Mr. Gardiner turned, and just saw the pained look that crossed Darcy's face. Considering the last opinion of Lizzy's that he'd heard, the look surprised him. That was not the look of a man who despised his niece. He had a feeling this conversation was going to be about more than a proper carriage ride.

As they entered his study, Mr. Gardiner offered a drink, which his guest declined. They both sat, with Darcy looking quite uncomfortable. He decided to take pity on the man, in light of that last look, and started the conversation.

"I assume that you are least going to tell me you have a maid floating around my house who rode with you gentlemen and my niece today."

"Heavens yes! I wouldn't expose Miss Bennet like that," replied a startled Darcy.

"I didn't think so. Now, what was it you wished to discuss?"

Darcy hadn't expected Mr. Gardiner to be so calm. This man was Mrs. Bennet's brother?

"Mr. Gardiner, I have the highest respect for your niece. I am aware of the situation that she and her mother and sisters find themselves in, and I simply wish to offer my assistance, if ever possible. I will be instructing my staff that if you call, I am at home. I plan to be in London through May. If there is anything in my power to do, consider it done."

It was Mr. Gardiner's turn to be surprised. His niece had been so sure of their mutual dislike. He wondered if Lizzy's opinion of the man had altered at all. The last information he had from his wife did not indicate as much. There had been some allegations of disreputable behavior even, and Lizzy would not have accepted a ride from a man she considered immoral. Something must have changed between them.

"Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I will keep that in mind. I appreciate your support of my sister's family. You seem to be taking an unusual interest in my niece's situation, though. Would you be so kind as to set my mind at ease there?"

Darcy sighed inwardly. While this was not unexpected, he did not wish to say more than absolutely necessary. Mr. Gardiner had every right to demand specifics.

"As I said before, I have the highest respect for your niece. Please know that any intentions I have are honorable."

"I think you're going to need to be more specific than that. Do you and Lizzy have an understanding?"

Another pained look crossed Darcy's face, "We do not."

Mr. Gardiner looked at him for a moment.

"But you wish there was."

It was everything Darcy could do to keep from squirming in his chair. This man was sharper than was convenient at the moment.

"What I wish for, and what your niece wants, do not quite match in this case. My hope is to change that."

"Ah, yes. Our Lizzy has a mind of her own, as I'm sure you've discovered. I have your word, then, that you will conduct yourself honorably while trying to change my niece's opinion?"

"Of course!" responded Darcy, a little tersely.

"Well, it wouldn't do to have her forced into what you want against her wishes. You would find yourself fairly miserable, in that case, I believe."

"Yes, sir, I am aware of that."

"I believe we understand each other, then. Was there anything else?" he asked.

"No, sir."

Darcy visibly relaxed, and only then did Mr. Gardiner realise how tense he'd been.

"Well then, Mr. Darcy, shall we join the others?"

When her uncle and Mr. Darcy joined them, their expressions gave no indication as to what had passed between them. The gentlemen didn't stay much longer, only enough to give their condolences and offer wishes for a safe journey. Elizabeth had never appreciated her aunt and uncle's sociability so much before. They answered what was needed, allowing the girls to remain quiet.

There was no private goodbye, to Elizabeth's relief. She needed to get away from everyone to think. She knew her aunt and Jane would have questions, but she was not ready for them. After their guests left, they had a quiet dinner, finished preparing for tomorrow's journey, and then retired early. She and Jane spoke of their father and comforted one another while they cried. Jane only mentioned her gratitude toward the gentleman for bringing Elizabeth back to London early. She did not appear to be questioning their interest further. Elizabeth planned to tell her sister about the proposals, but she was happy to leave it for another time.

Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy were quiet in the carriage. They couldn't say much with Nel there. When they reached Darcy house, the Colonel went to Darcy's study, while Darcy took Nel to meet his housekeeper and arrange a position for her. They all assumed, including Nel, that she would not be welcomed back once their aunt found out why she had left. He requested their dinner be brought to his study, and then braced himself for the inevitable.

When Darcy walked into his study, the Colonel had his booted feet propped up on the edge of the desk. He was lounging back in a chair facing away from the door, with his jacket buttons undone and a drink in his hand. Any hopes that Darcy had of this being simple or painless vanished. His cousin was prepared for battle.

"Well Darce, do you plan to spill everything, or do I need to drink you under the table and drag it from you?"

Darcy sighed, rubbed his hand down his face, and went for the port decanter. He poured himself a glass, and then went to sit in his chair, across the desk from his cousin.

"What do you wish to know, Fitzwilliam?"

"Excellent, I didn't want to wake up with a hangover tomorrow, anyway. What I'd like to know is what is going on between you and the lovely Miss Elizabeth Bennet? You've been brooding about her for the last two weeks. Are you engaged to the girl?"

"I am not."

"Well why didn't you ask her yet? Now that she's in mourning, you're going to have to wait months. Don't you want to marry her? If you don't want to, would you mind if I asked her? I'd say she's worth living in virtual poverty."

Darcy gave him a dark look, "You are not nearly as funny as you think you are, Fitzwilliam. You wouldn't give up your high-living for any woman, and you know it. Besides, I never said I haven't asked her."

The Colonel choked, "She refused you?! Damn, she's bolder than I thought. I didn't think there was an available woman alive, not in the royal family, who'd refuse you."

"Yes, well, there quite clearly is."

The Colonel looked sharply at Darcy.

"What did you do to her?"

"I was rude to her family and friends, I ruined her favorite sister's happiness, and she met Wickham. Add in the fact that she can't stand me, I'm 'ungentlemanly' and she's not the least bit mercenary, and I've become 'the last man in the world she'd ever be prevailed upon to marry.'

The Colonel's mouth dropped open and he stared at Darcy.

"Oh, I know. I've fallen in love with the last woman who'd have me, and she was quite vocal about it. But I've rendered you speechless, no small feat," Darcy continued dryly.

"Good God, how did you manage all of that? How did she meet Wickham and what did he feed her? Were you able to correct that at least?"

"Wickham must have run himself quite low on funds, since he joined the militia quartered in her neighborhood. He's a lieutenant, I believe. I have no idea where he would have gotten money to purchase a commission. I gather he led her to believe I denied him his inheritance, without recompense. I did have an opportunity to correct that misconception, and I think she believed me."

"I'm surprised he was willing to do that, since it will be harder for him to get away with his rubbish. I might have to look up his commanding officer, and drop a word about our friend's trustworthiness. Wouldn't want the scoundrel to disgrace the uniform. But that's beside the point, what did you tell her to get her to believe you?"

"I told her everything."

"Even Georgiana's story? Darcy, are you sure you should have done that?"

"She's trustworthy, Fitzwilliam. I know she doesn't like me, but I don't believe she'd hurt an innocent girl. She understands the value of a gentlewoman's reputation. Besides, I'm not certain she would have believed me otherwise. Wickham can be very convincing, as we know."

"Yes, we do. That smarmy reprobate's only real skill is manipulating sensible people."

They were both quiet for a minute while Fitzwilliam refilled their glasses.

"How did you ruin her sister's happiness?" he asked as he sat down.

"Do you remember the friend I told you about on the way to Rosings?"

"Yes, I assume you were speaking of Bingley?"

"I was, and the lady was Jane Bennet."

"Oh Lord, you cannot be serious. I'm afraid I did nothing to help you there. I repeated most of what you told me to Miss Bennet. I'm sorry, I thought I was helping you, showing your service to a friend. If I would have known -"

"You couldn't have known. I should have warned you after we met Miss Bennet at the parsonage. You'd think, that after the debacle of last summer, I would be more willing to speak up."

They both sat quietly for a minute while Darcy stared at his glass as he swirled his port. The Colonel could see his mind working, and hoped he'd reach the right conclusions. His cousin always learned the best when he could figure things out for himself.

"How did I expect Georgiana to survive in the adult world, as a young woman with merely a chaperone for protection, if I wasn't going to treat her like one? Even though we made the mistake in Mrs. Young, it would have taken so little to explain Wickham's reaction to my denial of the living. I didn't have to tell her every sordid detail of his past. All she needed to know was that Wickham might be holding a grudge. Or if we told her about his past, a few select stories about his treatment of women would have been sufficient. She's a smart girl. But I decided what was best for her, and that was it. It's the same thing I did to Elizabeth; I expected her to reach the right conclusion without all of the information. My God, how was she to know what he's really like? I was the only person in the neighborhood with knowledge of his past, and I couldn't be bothered to speak of it. All because I didn't want to invite questions about myself. What if she would have been taken in enough by him to put herself in a bad position? I could have let the woman I love be ruined!"

Darcy shuddered, "What if she would have been forced to marry him? Is there any worse hell than knowing you've condemned someone you love to a life of misery?"

The Colonel decided to interrupt here. Darcy was getting a little too far. He really did love Miss Bennet, if his emotions could start to cloud his judgement. His cousin was one of the most logical men he knew, and he was sounding irrational.

"Miss Bennet is an intelligent woman, and I don't think the scoundrel could have gotten her alone. She wouldn't have allowed it. Darcy, while I agree that you could have helped the situation, you can't be personally responsible for everything that goes wrong if you make one mistake in judgement."

They were interrupted by supper entering. The footman set the tray on a side table, removed the lids, and handed them their plates. He asked if they needed anything else. At their negative, he left them to their conversation.

"What about Bingley, though? Do you have any idea how hard it was to convince him that Jane Bennet was not in love with him? According to her closest sister, Miss Bennet cared deeply for him, and I told him otherwise. I am responsible for his current misery, when it was completely unnecessary. I told him it was because she didn't love him, and she wasn't worth the hassle of her family and lack of connections if she didn't love him. The irony is that I would gladly marry her sister, with the same connections. Even now, when she has made it quite clear that she doesn't love me in return, and in fact, she can barely stand my presence!"

"Did Miss Jane Bennet really show no preference for Bingley? Because if she really didn't love him as you'd thought, you did do him a favor. Bingley would be too easy to take advantage of, with the wrong woman."

"I convinced myself it was so, and I thought I was being impartial. But looking back, I can't really say I was. I needed to get away from Elizabeth, because I knew I was in danger there. That's beside the point, though. I didn't have a right to convince him to go against his own instincts. I could have stated my opinion, warning him to be sure of her affection before making any decisions. I assumed again that I knew best, to the detriment of someone I care about."

"I don't think you have poor judgement though, Darcy. I think that you are a very rational, logical man, but not everyone works that way. Miss Elizabeth and Bingley both seem to make their decisions based on what feels right. I think you would agree, though, that they are sensible people. You wouldn't like them if you thought they had poor judgement. They simply think differently than you do. It doesn't necessarily make either of you wrong."

After a few moments of thought, Darcy asked his cousin, "When did you learn so much about reading people?"

"Eh, I spend a lot more time with them than you do. The real question is this: are you going to try to change Miss Elizabeth's mind? Do you still want her, and if so, do you think she'll be more willing now that her circumstances are dire?"

"I already asked her again, when we stopped at Bromley. I don't think she was very happy with me, but she didn't outright say 'no.' She asked if she could think about it for a little while."

"She might be the most courageous woman I've ever met. She and her family might not have a place to live in a matter of weeks. Did she say why she wanted to think about it?"

"She needs to decide if the possibility of my regretting the decision to marry her will cause me to resent her, and if she can live with that. I am certain of my choice, but she thinks the degradation of her family will change my mind over time."

"Did she really call her own family a degradation? That doesn't sound like her, she seems more loyal than that."

Darcy swallowed hard, "I told her that when I proposed the first time, and repeated it in my letter to her, where I explained Wickham's history."

"You did what?!"

"I thought I was showing her that the strength of my regard overcame her family's regrettable circumstances."

"Did you really call her family regrettable? No wonder she refused you! You directly insulted her!"

"Well, it's not as though she can't see that her family is ridiculous, and her mother's family is in trade," Darcy said defensively.

The Colonel stared at him hard, "Are you really that much of a snob? Isn't the uncle we met tonight a tradesman? Can you really say he's a 'regrettable relation?' I know you don't really value people based on their rank in our circle, so why would you outside of it? How many people of exalted wealth and position do you truly care for? Good Lord, look at Aunt Catherine. Would you rather spend an hour in her sitting room, or the Gardiners'?"

Darcy was quiet at this.

The Colonel let him be for a few minutes, and then added, "It's highly unlikely she sees her family as 'regrettable,' and if you directly insulted the people she cares the most about, she's not going to respect your opinion. I have to tell you Darcy, rank means little when it comes to loyalty and good men. I would rather fight side-by-side with a farmer or merchant's son than one of high birth. If there's one thing I've learned in battle, it's that good men come from all walks of life, but I'm quite certain the fewest come from our ranks. There's a reason _the quality_ has to turn a blind eye to our men's antics, and many of the women are no better. Very few have a value system to speak of. You are a rare one, Darcy, to have the morals that you do in your position. If you truly love the woman that Elizabeth Bennet is, you have to remember that her family are who made her. By insulting them, you've insulted her. It's sounds like she's a rare woman, as well. Not many women could be as unconcerned by your wealth as she is. If you could earn her respect, I think you would be a lucky man indeed."

"I am aware of that. Why do you think I finally decided to offer for her?"

The Colonel gave him a hard look, "I think that might be the root of your problem, Darcy. You think that she should feel honored that you would stoop to her level. If you want to marry for love, you should be the one feeling honored. From what I've heard, you will be gaining a treasure if she accepts you. If you genuinely believe it, then you need to make sure she sees it."

Colonel Fitzwilliam stood and buttoned his jacket.

"Our family would be lucky to gain Miss Bennet. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

With that, he left. Darcy spent a very long time staring into the fire thinking through everything his cousin had said.

_A/N: In honor of Ms. Austen's remarkable ability to understand humanity, I'm trying to use as much personality study as I can to type these characters where I think she meant them to be. She was considered before her time on this topic. I've added a listing and short comment on each of the characters in the story to my profile, and will add more as they have dialogue and interaction. _

_Thanks again for the awesome reviews. There have been a lot of questions the past few days, and let me just say: I don't think you'll be disappointed. _


	5. Chapter 5

(5)

The household on Gracechurch Street was up early finalizing their preparations for the trip to Hertfordshire. While Jane was busy elsewhere, Mrs. Gardiner came into the room the girls were sharing to speak with Elizabeth.

"Lizzy, your uncle has spoken to me in regards to his conversation with Mr. Darcy, and I thought you might wish to discuss it. Were you aware of what they were to speak of?"

Elizabeth continued her preparations, keeping her face turned from her aunt.

"Only that Mr. Darcy wanted Uncle to know that he would welcome his call," she finally replied.

Mrs. Gardiner watched Elizabeth quietly for a couple of minutes, to see if she would be more forthcoming. She continued in silence.

"Lizzy, is there more to your relationship with Mr. Darcy than a passing acquaintanceship?"

Elizabeth finally sat, but kept her face turned from her aunt. Mrs. Gardiner could see her bite her bottom lip before she turned with tears in her eyes to look at her aunt.

"Oh Aunt, I do not want to think about that man right now. My life feels as though it is falling apart, and he is not helping. I realise that he thinks he means well, but it is too much!"

When that appeared to be all her niece had to say, Mrs. Gardiner asked, "Lizzy, did he propose to you?"

"Yes, and I do not like him, but I feel obligated by my family's situation to say yes. I already turned down our security for my happiness once. How selfish can I be, when I am in the position to save my family from poverty?" Elizabeth answered tearfully.

Mrs. Gardiner thought for a minute, and then came and sat beside Elizabeth and pulled her into a loose hug. She wished it hadn't come to her nieces having to consider marriages for security as a necessity, but they needed to be realistic. The girls' circumstances were much more precarious now that they'd lost their father's protection.

"Oh Lizzy," she sighed, "I take it you haven't given Mr. Darcy an answer, then?"

At the shake of Elizabeth's head, Mrs. Gardiner continued, "And you truly believe marriage to him would be unbearable?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"Did he ask you to give him answer soon?"

"I asked for a few weeks to let my life settle."

Mrs. Gardiner was surprised, "And he agreed to this?"

"It is why he spoke to my uncle. I've agreed to visit you in London then, so that he may call on me."

"I see," was Mrs. Gardiner's reply. She was quiet for several minutes. She wished she more than passingly knew the gentleman in question, so that she could offer her niece reassurance. He'd shown himself intelligent enough to want Elizabeth, even with their difference in status. He'd also shown kindness, in giving her time to decide. While good signs, it was not enough to make a decision of this magnitude on. With the time they did have, though, she and her husband could discreetly ask for more information. If he was willing to support her family and turned out to be a good man, she didn't see that Elizabeth could justifiably turn Mr. Darcy down.

"I can see why you are overwhelmed, especially considering this all happened in one day. I'm glad you have time, though. I'd hate to see you make a rash decision based on the emotions of a moment. I think it would be an excellent idea to try to put this out of your mind for a few days. Your uncle and I plan to stay at Longbourn until Saturday next, so we can speak more on this after the funeral. You need to take the next few days to simply be with your family. You are right, that you have enough to worry about, and I don't think you'll be in the right frame of mind, this first week, to be deciding."

"Thank you, Aunt," Elizabeth replied as she pulled Mrs. Gardiner closer for a moment. She stood up and said, "I'm grateful for you setting my mind a little easier. I will do what I can to not think about this for a few days."

The family finished their packing and set out after a quick breakfast. With the Gardiner children along, there wasn't a chance for serious conversation; more discussion of the girls' future would need to wait.

The carriage arrived at Longbourn just after lunch. Mary met them at the door, looking very relieved indeed.

Elizabeth and Jane both went to Mary and pulled her into a hug. They wept and held each other. Mary told them that their mother hadn't left her room since they found Mr. Bennet. If it weren't for Mr. and Mrs. Hill, the household would've stopped running entirely. Their younger sisters with with their mother now.

After settling the Gardiner children into the nursery, they all went up to Mrs. Bennet's room together. As they entered, she cried out, "Oh Jane! Oh Lizzy! What are we to do? I knew this was how it would be, I just knew it! Brother! Sister! You will have take us in, for I am sure that we won't have a home in a week! Ohhhh! Mr. Bennet! Why did you abandon us?! Oh my head," she ended on a moan, pulling her arm over her face.

The room was quiet for a moment, and then Elizabeth and Jane moved up to the head of the bed, opposite the side of Kitty and Lydia, and sat next to their mother.

Jane was the first to speak, "Mama, surely it won't be that bad, Mr. Collins is not cruel, and will let us stay. Besides, he might not come to live here for a while."

She looked up hopefully at Elizabeth, who simply raised her eyebrow. She did not think Mr. Collins would wait very long. He'd been all but counting the silver on his first visit.

"Oh, if only Lizzy had married him, then we would all be safe," she went on. "Surely even you wouldn't kick your own mother into the hedgerows. Or if Jane could have got Mr. Bingley, then she would be rich, and could afford to keep us all. You didn't get engaged in London and haven't told me yet, did you?"

"No, Mama."

"I thought for sure if you followed him there, you'd be engaged by now. Didn't you call on his sisters?"

Jane winced, "I did, Mama, but I didn't see Mr. Bingley."

"Is he coming back? Did they say when he's coming back to Netherfield? He has an estate to run, how long can he stay away?"

"Now, my dear sister," interjected Mr. Gardiner, feeling sorry for his niece, "I wouldn't worry about that. Have you spoken to our brother, Mr. Phillips, about how your husband's affairs were left? I think we need to worry about that first. I believe Mr. Bennet left copies of his papers with Mr. Phillips?"

"How should I know? He didn't tell me any of that! What does it matter? The house is entailed, and that odious Mr. Collins gets everything. If only Lizzy would have married him! But nobody listens to me, and now look at us! I don't suppose you've found a nice, rich man to marry to make up for it have you? Of course not, high gentlemen don't want outspoken wives!"

Elizabeth looked uncomfortable, and this time Mrs. Gardiner decided to intervene, "Girls, why don't you take your uncle to see Mrs. Hill about what needs to be done. I will keep your mother company."

The girls hugged their mother, and with their uncle, gratefully left the room. On one hand, Mrs. Bennet was taking this as expected, which likely meant she was going to be alright. On the other hand, the way she was dealing with this upheaval in her life was typically ridiculous. Some things really never changed.

The next few days went by in quiet preparation for the funeral, which was to be on Wednesday. The girls worked with their aunt and uncle to prepare, each taking turns to sit with Mrs. Bennet. She remained in her room bemoaning their fate. Each of them was equally responsible for their current situation in her eyes. She just knew that someone ought to have done something to prevent this. When that 'odious Mr. Collins and his grasping wife' we're going to throw them out she didn't know, but she was certain it would be before her dear Mr. Bennet was cold in his grave. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, along with Jane and Elizabeth tried to calm her fears, but to no avail.

Little did they know, Mrs. Bennet was not far off the mark. On Tuesday afternoon, while Mr. Gardiner was visiting the vicar with Mr. Phillips, and Mrs. Gardiner was upstairs with Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Collins came on his own to console his cousins. The girls were all in the sitting room working quietly, when they heard commotion at the door.

He spoke immediately upon entering the room, "My dear cousins, allow me to express my condolences upon the untimely death of your most excellent father." He didn't wait for an answer, but continued, "It is quite terrible for you, really, to be left so poorly, and before any of you are married. My dear Charlotte and I have decided that we will let you stay with us, which is the charitable thing to do, as Lady Catherine said when we told her of your new circumstances. But she did advise me to take it upon myself to help you learn to be more demure, proper, young women. Young ladies of inferior birth are meant to listen to their betters, as Lady Catherine said, and not express their opinions on matters outside of their understanding. Your father, God rest his soul, I believe indulged your whims too often. I am, thankfully, in a place to help you all, and I see it as my duty. Young ladies such as yourselves, as lovely as you all are, shouldn't be left to your own devices. Lady Catherine has highly recommended that you all marry as quickly as possible, in order to secure your futures. She says it's quite absurd that the two eldest of you haven't married yet, and she fully intends to take it upon herself to look for suitable husbands for you. It will be quite difficult, she's sure, to find a man high enough to marry a gentlewoman without a dowry. I must agree with her, of course, and now that I find myself in the position of landed gentleman, I am better able to help with this benevolent office. I don't think I put myself too high when I say it will be quite in my power to entertain many prospects on your behalf."

A few sentences into this speech, and all five girls could do nothing but stare at him in horror. To say such things to them, and the day before their father's funeral, was unconscionable. How did one even respond to this? After he finished speaking, there was complete silence. His look was one of such complacency it made him all the more ridiculous. Elizabeth was furious and did not trust herself to speak. They could not afford to offend this man, which was all that stood between her and speaking her mind.

Jane was the one who was finally able to say, "Thank you, sir, for your...thoughtfulness."

"Certainly, my dear cousin. I'm only thinking of what's best for you, of course. It's our Christian duty to take care of those less fortunate than ourselves, as Lady Catherine says. She is truly the model of Christian benevolence, and I can only pray that I am half as caring as - "

Before he could continue, Elizabeth finally found her voice and asked, "And how is dear Mrs. Collins sir? Is she at Lucas Lodge? Was the trip easy on her?"

They thankfully managed to keep Mr. Collins on other topics until he left, with promises to see to them tomorrow.

Elizabeth escaped as soon as she could. She ran to her room for her bonnet and spencer, and left out the kitchen door to avoid having to speak with anyone else. She wandered the lanes for several hours, lost in her thoughts.

Everything had changed for her family so quickly. They went from being a respectable, landed, family to poor relations. They were now dependent upon the charity of quite possibly the most ridiculous man in all of England. She could see their future; being married off to the first male of any reasonable quality who showed the least bit of interest in them. They would no longer have a choice, not if they didn't want to be left homeless. None of their other relatives had the space or income to support them completely. Mr. Collins held all of the power. He could throw their entire family out on a whim. While some may frown at him for it, there was no legal redress to be had.

It was a desperate place to be, and she had the ability to fix it all. A simple "yes," and her family was saved. All she had to do was give up her every hope of marrying for love. She knew that Mr. Darcy thought he loved her, but how could he when he clearly didn't even respect her? He'd shown that plainly when he spoke of her unworthiness to be his wife. How could she live like that? Forever under the power of a man who saw her as a degradation. How long before his infatuation ended? What misery! He was a man who liked to have his own way. Would she lose every sense of self? This was exactly why she wanted to marry for love. If they truly loved each other, the respect and esteem she so desperately wanted would come naturally.

At the same time, how could she say no? She would be miserable if her family sunk to virtual homelessness, which was a serious reality. Always knowing that she could have prevented it; she would grow to hate herself. She had the power to save her family from this. The odds of her finding love were so slim to start with, and growing worse. By marrying well, she could give all of her sisters the chance to find what she would not. By marrying Mr. Darcy, she might be able to bring Mr. Bingley back into Jane's life.

Her choice couldn't be more clear, and now she just had to learn to live with it.

_A/N: Elizabeth is being a little melodramatic, but she's terrified. I'm really good at being irrational when I fear something, so I hope it seems reasonable that she would be, too. _


	6. Chapter 6

(6)

The day of Mr. Bennet's funeral was dreary. It matched the girls' hearts, and while the men went to the gravesite, they stayed back at the house together with their mother. When the men did return, thankfully their aunt or uncle was continuously with them, and able to deflect speeches Mr. Collins thought were necessary before he got out of hand. They spent the afternoon mostly in quiet visiting with their sympathetic neighbors. Even Mrs. Bennet, Kitty, and Lydia were somber. The Lucases and Charlotte made sure that Mr. Collins left with them, and then they were alone. There wasn't much to be said, and they all went through the motions of the evening, then retired early. The exhaustion that followed the last few days of preparation and the emotional drain left none of them with the energy to say much.

Thursday morning brought a visit from Charlotte. She was alone, and she asked Elizabeth to walk with her.

Once they were outside, she began, "I want to speak with you first, Eliza, because I think I will need your help." She took a deep breath here and then continued, "Mr. Collins plans to move to Longbourn immediately. We are to travel home tomorrow, pack up our things and return on Monday." She turned to Elizabeth with tears in her eyes, "I am so sorry Eliza, I tried to convince him that he should give your family two months at least, but he insists. He says he's worried that the estate will face neglect without a man to lead it. Please know that I do not wish for it to be this way."

"Oh Charlotte, I know you didn't hope for this when you married."

They were quiet for a minute, "Mr. Collins is completely within his right to do this, and we all knew it was inevitable. Do you want me to tell the rest of the house?" Elizabeth asked.

"If you think that is best. I want you, and your family to know that I will do everything I can to keep us all as comfortable as I can."

Elizabeth acknowledged her appreciation with a nod. They were both well aware that Mr. Collins and Mrs. Bennet were the least likely to help that cause. What could they do, though? This was the Bennets' lot, and they both wished to make the best of it.

The ladies walked back to the house, and Charlotte stayed for only a short visit before heading back to Lucas Lodge.

Elizabeth didn't waste time telling the rest of her family about Mr. Collins' decision. Everyone but her mother and Kitty were downstairs. She told them bluntly, and while they had been hopeful, no one was surprised. Lydia made some noise about him being an odious man, and that she had no intention of obeying him just because he owned the house. She quieted when it was explained to her that he had every right to kick them all out on a whim. Six women on little more than two hundred pounds a year would not get them far. Jane and Mrs. Gardiner went together to tell Mrs. Bennet the news. They all could hear her hysterical railing, but she was soon calmed down again. Elizabeth had no idea how Jane and Mrs. Gardiner could do it, but they were the best at allaying Mrs. Bennet's fears. She herself would only remind her mother of what could have been.

After that, Elizabeth looked for a chance to tell Jane about Mr. Darcy's proposals. She desperately wanted her sister's opinion, especially in light of Charlotte's news. After supper, she asked her to retire early so they could talk.

As soon as they closed the door to their room, Jane turned to Elizabeth and asked, "Lizzy, is something the matter?"

"Oh Jane! I have so much to tell you, and I'm not sure if you will even believe me. So much has happened in the last week that I don't even know where to begin."

"You have seemed out of sorts, but I wasn't sure if it was all about Papa. What has happened?"

"Jane, Mr. Darcy has proposed to me."

Jane was astonished, "Lizzy, you are serious? Mr. Darcy?"

"Yes, and I was just as shocked as you are. I had no idea he even liked me, and yet he confessed he's been in love with me for months."

"Not that it's surprising for any man to fall in love with you though. You will make a wonderful wife. But tell me, what did you answer him?"

"I refused him, most forcefully. I told him he was ungentlemanly for his behaviour in Hertfordshire, and accused him of ruining Mr. Wickham's prospects. I told him he was 'the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.' I was very harsh."

"Oh Lizzy! The poor man, I feel for him, knowing that he is in love with you. But I can't really blame you for refusing him, I know you do not love him."

"Yes, but Jane, the next day, Friday, he gave me a letter that puts him in a much better light."

Elizabeth went on to tell her sister about the portions of the letter pertaining to Mr. Wickham and Miss Darcy.

"I felt like quite a fool for falling for Mr. Wickham's lies. Mr. Darcy was also kind enough to bring me to London immediately on Friday, so that we would be able to travel home on Saturday." Elizabeth paused here, and then went on, "There is more, too. When we stopped for a rest, he asked me if I might reconsider marrying him, in the light of our new circumstances."

"He did? Goodness, he must love you very much, to ask again after you had just thoroughly refused him, even with your news."

"Yes, and I don't think I can refuse him again, no matter how much I dread the prospect of marrying him. He told me, the second time he proposed, that he would be willing to support my family. Oh Jane! I wish he hadn't asked me again!"

"Lizzy, we wouldn't expect you to marry into misery to save our family, but are you sure -"

There was a knock at the door here, and the girls opened it to Mrs. Gardiner.

"Lizzy dear, do you mind if I join you? I have a feeling I know what you are talking of."

"Of course Aunt, you are always welcome, and yes, I was telling Jane about Mr. Darcy."

"I was going to wait until tomorrow, but when I saw you both retire early, I thought it might be about this. Have you told her everything?"

At her sister's affirmative, Jane continued, "Lizzy, do you truly think Mr. Darcy would be awful? I never thought him that bad."

"I'm worried about so much! His own cousin, an acknowledged good friend, said that he likes to have his own way and I've seen it for myself. I do not want to be under the control of anyone! I know what is expected of we women, but I am a rational creature and would like to be treated as such. He said himself, both in his original proposal and the letter that followed, that he finds our family an unfortunate degradation. What if he cuts me off from you? I would never survive living like that without access to my family. He was very eloquent about my unsuitability as a wife. What if what he thinks is love is just an infatuation? When that fades, where does that leave me? What if he regrets marrying me? I'd have to live with his resentment. At the best we might sink into indifference. I also do not want to live in a marriage without respect, it would be unbearable. He says he loves me, yet he contradicts that in the next sentence. I do not understand him!"

"Lizzy, I cannot believe a man could truly confess to be in love with you and not see that you have an independent spirit." Elizabeth went to interrupt, but her aunt held up her hand, "Please, let me continue. While I think you do not understand him, it doesn't follow that it's necessarily your fault. Unfortunately, I do not know him at all, and a few minutes of passing discussion doesn't give me much. Jane, I'm going to depend upon you to help here, as you know him more than I do. While we don't want to tell you that you must marry him Lizzy, I don't think you should assume him to be a terrible marriage prospect. He was smart enough to appreciate you, which speaks much in his favor." Mrs. Gardiner said this last with a smile. "Can either of you think of a reason why you would say he is not a good man? Has he shown himself to have immoral habits?"

They thought quietly for a minute, and then Jane spoke, "He attended church when we were at Netherfield, and I've not seen him drink to excess. I also never once saw him flirt. He does not appear rakish to me. I do not think Mr. Bingley would have maintained his friendship with a disreputable man, either," she finished quietly.

Elizabeth reached out and squeezed Jane's hand at the last, and then spoke herself, "No, I would not say he is immoral. I think his true dealings with Mr. Wickham answer that, too. But really, Mr. Collins meets all of those requirements. I don't think either of them bad men, just not ones I can live with!"

"Lizzy, I don't think Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy are anything close to the same," said Jane, "while Mr. Collins is not a bad man, Mr. Darcy is very much something more." Jane paused for a moment, deciding if what she wanted to say next would truly help her sister. "Lizzy, I think that you've decided who Mr. Darcy is based off of your first meeting. While he was very wrong to speak of a lady in the manner he did, especially within hearing of her, I think he's proven to be a different man than that suggests. You are generally quite accurate in your assessments of people, and over time you've become confident in your ability, maybe too confident. As a result, when you are wrong I think you have a difficult time altering your impression. I also think that you only saw what you wanted to see because he offended you. Do you truly dislike Mr. Darcy that much, or are you more upset that he refuses to stay in the box where you put him?"

Elizabeth stared at Jane in shock. She'd never heard her sister be so bluntly honest with her. Anyone but Jane saying those things she would have brushed off, but Jane? The sister who knew her best? Who was kind to and considerate of everyone? She could not remember Jane ever offering insight into her own character before, even though she did speak her mind about others. She was generally very accurate. Was she right here, too?

When Elizabeth didn't say anything for a while, Mrs. Gardiner added, "Lizzy, you know that your judgement is usually quite sound. I don't think either of us blame you for holding to it, but maybe it's time to take a fresh look at Mr. Darcy."

Elizabeth nodded but didn't respond. Had she done that? Refused to see anything other than a man who'd insulted her? Was she really that vain? Had he done anything else to cause her dislike? Even with his proposals and letter, she still felt that they were little more than strangers. How did he think he loved her enough to marry her in spite of everything he'd seen as obstacles to their relationship? They barely knew one another!

"I can admit that I've been seeking fault in him. But I don't think he helps himself! I still do not like his arrogant and aloof attitude, nor his views of my family. Aunt, he called you an 'unfortunate relation!' I am still worried that he would try to cut me off from you. I also don't think he would respect me. I don't know what he sees in me that makes him want to marry me, but he's made it very clear that I should be grateful that he's stooping so low. How can that ever work?"

"Are you sure he's that aloof?" asked Jane, "or could he be very shy?"

Elizabeth could acknowledge that possibility. He'd thought Jane had no feeling for Mr. Bingley because she was quiet, and Elizabeth knew she was just private with her feelings. Could his silence in company truly be simple shyness?

"I do think your worries about your family and his respect are valid concerns," said her aunt, "but his opinion of your uncle and me is not unique to him. I don't let it bother me usually, since we are quite satisfied with our lifestyle and our general circle of acquaintances. It doesn't particularly concern me that he thinks that way, but I would not want him to refuse to acknowledge your family. I agree that you would have a rough time of it, closed off from everyone you know. But I also think that you are an intelligent, graceful woman who would quickly gain his respect if you haven't already. Again, I can't believe a man who loves you would do that to you. He would have to know that it would ruin your spirit, which would leave him without the woman he fell for anyway. You could ask him before giving your response. If he was willing to give you time, I think he would answer any questions you may have. "

Elizabeth was quiet for some time, feeling even more overwhelmed, before she finally said, "I think I need to spend some time working through all you've said. I would like to retire now."

"Lizzy, I love you the same, no matter your decision," Jane said, as she pulled her sister into a hug.

Mrs. Gardiner agreed, and joined them for a minute before they all headed to bed.

Elizabeth lay awake for a very long time, thinking about what they did and didn't say. She felt it was very clear that they didn't think she would say no, and each decided to help her accept the decision.

_A/N: Another shorter chapter. I do think they will get longer from here. We're finally headed to London and Mr. Darcy in the next one. I'm impatient to bring him back to the story, which has made these chapters hard to work on. I wanted to rush through them! _


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: I see the periodic comment that Elizabeth is holding on to her dislike of Darcy for too long. I truly think she is acting in character. In the original, when she and the Gardiners met him at Pemberley, she was waiting for him to be embarrassed by her relations. She also used the thought that the Gardiners would have been lost to her to save herself from regret (chapter 43). That was four months after the letter. If she expected him to hold the ideas of her inferiority for that long, I don't think a few weeks is a stretch. When I lost my father this year (I'm only 32, he was 57, it was a sudden, horrible, wasting disease), I spent several weeks uselessly wishing life wouldn't have changed. When we're grieving, it's easy to be unreasonable. She wishes he wouldn't have proposed again so that she wouldn't need to make a choice, and is resenting him for it. I'm having her work through this mostly in her head, which we are privy to (which I can acknowledge may be too much - the fault of reading a WIP of an aspiring author - sorry!). Once she stops fighting this, it will get better. Also, Jane and Mrs. Gardiner represent reason here, she trusts them and will listen to them. I think she needs to work herself back to normal and then work on improving beyond that. Hopefully for our and Darcy's sakes it happens soon. ;)_

_I very much appreciate all of the comments. The constructive criticism allows me to see where I might be running away with a thought too long, like Lizzy's rambling mind. That they are overall positive is very motivating. Thank you for being a part of my development as a writer!_

(7)

The priority of the next few days was talking Mrs. Bennet into changing rooms. Mrs. Gardiner and the girls had agreed that it would be easier to have her move before the Collinses came. There was a second set of rooms that worked as a suite, but it was not nearly what the master and mistresses chambers were. They thought it unlikely that the new Master would be fine with less than the best room in the house, in light of the self-importance displayed earlier in the week.

The spent all of Friday morning trying to work on her, to no avail. Surprisingly, Lydia made the comments that worked the best.

"When I can't have something I want, I make sure the person who does have it knows how much I don't care. Pick a different room, and then redo the whole thing! When they arrive, show off how happy you are with it. The accounts in town are directed to Longbourn. Go run up a bill, and let Mr. Collins pay for it when he gets here. He's the heir, he has to settle up any debts on the estate, doesn't he? If it were up to me, I'd run up every bill I could, just to show him I could. Really, why don't we all go buy something new for ourselves? It would be such fun, and he can't really do much when the money is already spent," she laughed.

Their mother perked up at this, and latched on to the suggestion. She was ready to follow Lydia's plan completely and have them all order the most expensive fabrics to have new mourning dresses made and everything, but Mrs. Gardiner talked her down. While the rest of them were not comfortable adding anything that was not absolutely necessary to the accounts, they decided that allowing Mrs. Bennet a little extravagance now would save them all, including the Collinses, a headache later. In the end, Jane and Kitty went into Meryton for new fabrics for drapes and bedding, and picked out a few other things to change over the new room. Lydia wanted to go, but no one trusted her to control her expenses. Besides, it would be indecent to be out gallivanting with officers only a week after their father died, and they expected nothing less from the youngest in the family. She had already been complaining that their society was boring, and asking when they could go to their Aunt Phillips for tea again.

The next few days were filled with sewing and moving their mother. These activities distracted them all well enough to keep their spirits up. They also saw the Gardiners off on Saturday, as planned. The Friday after the next was set for Elizabeth to remove to London to stay with them.

The Collinses arrived on Monday at four o'clock, as planned. The first meeting was very awkward, as Mrs. Bennet did not wish to greet them properly, saying that she was no longer mistress so it wasn't her duty. Jane stepped forward to do the honors. She took Mr. and Mrs. Collins to meet the staff, and showed them the rooms that would be theirs. The Bennet ladies did their best to stay out of the way after that, hoping to avoid Mr. Collins and his speeches, and also to give Charlotte a little space to find her bearings.

If Elizabeth needed any more persuasion that marriage to Mr. Darcy was the best choice, her mother and cousin did their best. The next two weeks after her aunt and uncle left, Elizabeth spent much time walking the lanes around Longbourn. She tried to stay in the house as long as possible to help Jane and Charlotte smooth the atmosphere, but she simply couldn't last. Not only did she need time to think about her own future, but she wanted to avoid the stress of the house. Mr. Collins was pontificating on their need to be women of virtue and continuously reminding them of his benevolence in allowing them to stay. He was the most magnanimous man in the history of all time, if he was to be taken seriously. She was ready to scream at that alone. Add in the tension of the biting remarks of her mother on 'men who took that which was not rightfully theirs,' 'grasping women who reached above their station,' and 'undutiful daughters who ruined everything' and she knew this couldn't last for any of them.

She did feel for her mother, needing to give way in her own house to another woman, and so soon after her husband's death. She might find Mrs. Bennet frustrating at times, but no woman deserved to have her grief compounded by this amount of upheaval. She could have handled the transition better, but Elizabeth truly felt that many women would not. Her heart also ached for Charlotte. While her dear friend chose Mr. Collins with eyes wide open, she could never have anticipated the change in situation happening so soon. Charlotte was desperately trying to keep the peace in a house overcrowded by dependent relations when she should be allowed to enjoy setting up her new home as she saw fit. Instead, she was trying to change as little as possible, in understanding of Mrs. Bennet's feelings. While Elizabeth had lost some respect for Charlotte upon her marriage to Mr. Collins, she was quickly gaining it back plus some with her handling of this stressful situation.

The Friday exactly three weeks after she'd made the trip home finally came, and she felt both guilty and relieved; guilty because she was leaving Jane to deal with this alone and so very relieved to escape it herself. She only wished she was happier with her decision. She only had two questions for Mr. Darcy that might have bearing on her choice, but even if he disappointed, she would probably still agree to marry him.

She said goodbye to her family with whispered good wishes from Jane, disturbingly accurate requests from her mother to snap up a husband rich enough to save them, whining from Lydia that she never got to go anywhere fun, and simple, quiet hugs from Mary and Kitty. She and Charlotte had said their goodbyes earlier so that the family could have their moment. Her friend had also found something or other to keep Mr. Collins busy until all he had time for was stepping out of the house to hope for her safe journey. The rest of his comments faded as she rode away.

The trip to London was filled with thoughts on how to answer Mr. Darcy while keeping hold of her emotions. He might be well aware that she didn't want to marry him, but she did not want to carry on hysterically. Elizabeth was determined to handle this gracefully. Since she'd grudgingly decided marrying Mr. Darcy was the lesser of the evils before her, she was glad Jane and her aunt helped her begin to see him in a better light. If she was going to do this, she did not want to enter the married state resentful toward her husband. It would do her no good to fight this life. She was going to need to learn to embrace it, and she might as well start now.

The coach reached London on time, and her uncle was able to meet her at the station and take her back to Gracechurch Street.

"Well Lizzy, it is good to see you again. How is Longbourn fairing?"

"Longbourn itself is just fine, I'm sure. Her residents, on the other hand, might not survive the year if things continue as they are."

"That bad, is it? Well, have you decided if you are going to change that?"

"I have," Elizabeth sighed, "and yes, I'm fairly certain I am. I need to ask him a few things, but I doubt they will change my answer. I would just like to know what I am getting myself into."

"Can't blame you for that. You do know that your aunt and I will be there for you in any way we can, even after you are married, don't you? We will not send you off and leave you to your own devices. We both believe you deserve happiness in life, and want to help you achieve it. Even if it doesn't seem like it is starting that way, you could be marrying just the right man for you."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at her uncle for the last comment, but thanked him for his support, "I know you and Aunt Gardiner look out for the best for me. I want you to know that I have always appreciated it, and will be very glad to have it now."

Mr. Gardiner smiled at her, and then asked, "So, when would you like me to call on Mr. Darcy and let him know you are back in town? Do you want a few days?"

"I would rather you called today, if you have the time. Now that I'm ready to make my choice, I'd rather get it over with. Besides, the sooner you marry me off, the sooner we keep Longbourn safe from burning to the ground!"

"That's my girl. You always have faced the world head on."

They went on to talk of more trivial matters until they arrived at the house. Mr. Gardiner deposited Elizabeth and her things with her aunt, and then left immediately to call on Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth did her best not to think about what her uncle was doing while her aunt helped her settle in.

Mr. Gardiner was very curious as to how Mr. Darcy would receive him. He knew, from conversation with his wife, that the man held the typical attitude of _the ton_ in that as a tradesman, he was below their notice. At the same time, Mr. Darcy must know by now that insulting Lizzy's loved ones was not going to win her over. Unless he wanted to marry a woman who continued to hate him, that attitude was going to need to change. While Mr. Gardiner understood the respect due to those of higher ranking in society, he had no need to feign subservience to anyone. He was comfortable with who he was, and felt no need to apologize for it.

When he arrived at the house in Mayfair, he knocked on the knocker-less door. It was opened by a very stiff butler.

"Can I help you sir?" the man asked in a patronizing tone. Mr. Gardiner had a feeling this man brooked no interference with his master's wishes; a very good butler to have. With the knocker off the door, he was probably appalled that anyone had the gall to disturb them.

"Mr. Gardiner to see Mr. Darcy, please."

"Ah, yes, you are expected. Follow me please," said the man as he took Mr. Gardiner's outer things. His demeanor didn't change. It was all Mr. Gardiner could do not to laugh at him. He followed the man further into the house and down a short hallway to a closed door. The butler knocked, and after hearing a "yes" from within, opened the door and announced him.

"Mr. Gardiner is here to see you, sir."

"Ah yes, thank you Morris."

Mr. Darcy stepped out from behind his desk as they entered the room, bowing to Mr. Gardiner as Morris closed the door behind his exit, "Welcome to my home, Mr. Gardiner. I am very glad to see you."

Mr. Gardiner bowed and then raised his eyebrow similarly to the way his niece would, "I bet you are. That's quite the butler you have. I'm guessing no one gets past him unless you want them too."

"You would think. There are a few of my family members that he has yet to outmaneuver. He is handy for everyone else, though. Have a seat, please."

Darcy went back around his desk and sat. He made quite the imposing figure, so tall behind such a large desk. Mr. Gardiner had a feeling he was not often on the losing end of an argument, especially in here. He was going to find his hands full with Lizzy, though. No desk was going to frighten her. He hoped the young man was prepared to lose many an argument in the near future, if things went as his niece had indicated.

"Well, Mr. Darcy, I think we both know why I'm here. Shall we cut to the chase?"

"Yes, sir," replied Darcy, suddenly feeling very nervous. He thought he'd talked himself into calm acceptance of any answer Elizabeth was going to give him, but now, seeing her uncle before him, brought back all of his doubts and desires in a rush. He found himself twisting his signet ring, waiting for Mr. Gardiner to continue.

"Well, as you may have assumed, Elizabeth is back in town. She is ready to speak with you, if your offer still stands."

"It does. I am a man of my word."

"I had hoped so, but I know you by reputation only, you understand. I've heard only good things about the way you go about your business; honest, straightforward, and with respect. I've also heard that staff rarely leave your service, and if there are open positions they are highly sought after. I gather you treat servants well. I hear of no instances of you drinking to excess or gambling. Your name has also not been connected to women of disrepute. You _appear_ to be a good man."

Darcy was surprised, and then grew annoyed as this apparent investigation into his life continued. He crossed his arms in irritation and asked, "May I ask what these comments are leading up to? I consider myself a man of honor, and do not appreciate having my integrity questioned."

Mr. Gardiner hoped he was doing the right thing. If the man had a bad enough temper to throw it all off over a few comments, it wasn't a good idea for Lizzy to marry him anyway. He pushed a little harder, "I would like to know how you intend to treat your wife. Men of your station do not generally have a good reputation, and I would like to know if yours is real or if you are simply better at hiding your sins. While Lizzy and her family's options are limited, my wife and I would like to know that we are not sending her into a veritable wolf's den. No amount of security is worth that."

Darcy sat up straighter and gripped the edge of his desk. Was this entire family going to look for the worst in him? Had Elizabeth put her uncle up to his? He was used to being respected wherever he went. He wasn't sure he'd ever been so insulted! Who did this man think he was?

"Mr. Gardiner, I find what you are implying highly insulting. My reputation is good because my actions speak for themselves. My wife will be treated with the honor her position demands, and nothing less. I have no intention of speaking wedding vows that I do not mean to keep. She will be loved, comforted, honored, and there will be no others in our marriage. Is that sufficient for your interrogation?"

Mr. Gardiner smiled and sat back in his chair, "I believe I expected nothing less from you. I hope that you do not hold it against me, but I felt the best way to test your temper was to press it. You are also much more likely to be honest in a moment like that. I hope you understand my and my wife's concern that we barely know you. Forgive my impertinence, but I felt it had to be done. My respect for you only grows the more I know you, young man. I expect Lizzy will test your patience regularly, and if you handle yourself that well, you will do just fine. Now, when will you be calling on my niece?"

Darcy stared at the man across from him in shock, and his anger immediately deflated. He was impressed. In a matter of a few sentences, he was pretty sure Mr. Gardiner had taken his entire measure, and was now confident in the assessment of his character. This man obviously cared much for his niece's future, to be willing to push him so far. It was also apparent that the Gardiners were not mercenary either. Perhaps this was why Elizabeth didn't seem to fit with most of the rest of her family; how much time did she spend with them? He guessed a great deal. No wonder she was so offended when he judged them by their status.

"I'm starting to see why Miss Bennet holds you in such high esteem. I will need to remember what you just did when young men start coming around for my sister, Georgiana."

Mr. Gardiner smirked, "You learn a few things out in the world of tradesmen. We're not so unfortunate as some may think."

He deserved that, and he knew it. He also didn't think Mr. Gardiner was looking for a response to the comment, so he went back to the last question.

"May I call tomorrow morning?"

Now that the possibility was before him, he wanted to know his fate.

"I think Lizzy would prefer that. I assume that, if she accepts you, my wife will ask you to stay to dinner. Will you be free?"

Darcy was caught on Elizabeth wanting to see him sooner rather than later. It felt good, that she wasn't avoiding him. He easily knew nothing was on his calendar for tomorrow evening. He hadn't done any socializing since he'd returned to London.

"I will be, and hopefully I will have the opportunity to dine with you. I will call at two o'clock, if you agree."

"I do. Was there anything you wanted to ask me? It only seems fair, after my questions."

"No, but I do want to tell you that I wish for Miss Bennet to be happy. I know that she does not desire this marriage. At first I thought I just needed to get her to see that we will do well together, but after a conversation with my cousin and a few weeks to think about it, I now see that I need to show her. If she agrees to be my wife, I will be doing everything in my power to do just that. I do love her."

"Glad to hear it. With your attitude, I think you'll do alright. If Lizzy commits to you, I think you'll find the same in her. She might not love you now, but I wouldn't give up on her, either."

With that, the gentlemen parted and Mr. Gardiner headed back to Gracechurch Street. Darcy sat in reflection for a time. He was definitely beginning to see why Elizabeth was offended by his comments referring to the Gardiners. He had made assumptions about their intelligence and respectability based on their social standing, and those assumptions were quickly proving to be inaccurate. He genuinely wanted to know them better, and hoped Elizabeth would grant him the closer connection tomorrow.

The next morning found Elizabeth agitated like she'd never been agitated before. She could not focus on any activity for long in her anticipation of Darcy's visit. She wondered if she would feel differently about seeing him, now that she'd accepted her fate. Her aunt tried to keep her distracted, but it was fairly fruitless. Luncheon finally came, and then Elizabeth went to refresh herself for the interview. It took enough time that it was at last a quarter before the promised hour. She assumed he would be a timely man, as fastidious as he had shown himself to be, so she was hopeful that the agony of waiting would not be drawn out.

She was not disappointed. Her uncle called her into his study at five minutes to the hour, and they heard the commotion of the front door immediately afterward. James brought Darcy right to them, and suddenly she was facing him again.

"Thank you, James," said Mr. Gardiner. He turned to the couple before him and watched them for a moment.

Elizabeth curtsied as she said, "Mr. Darcy."

Mr. Darcy followed with a formal bow, "Miss Bennet, it is good to see you again."

Mr. Gardiner wanted to laugh again. If he'd been worried about leaving them alone before, their stiff formality ended that.

"I will leave the door ajar, but your conversation will be private. Just know that we will not be far," Mr. Gardiner said the last with a look to Darcy. He gave Elizabeth's shoulder a gentle squeeze, and left them alone.

Elizabeth chose to sit, but Darcy stayed standing. Silence reigned for a few minutes while neither of them looked at the other.

Elizabeth finally broke it, "Would you mind sitting? You are very tall, and I find it awkward to keep looking up at you and disconcerting when you pace."

"Of course, I apologize," he said as he sat stiffly in the chair facing hers. He looked directly at her now, there was no avoiding his gaze.

Elizabeth felt obligated to speak first, and she decided to ask her questions so they could move on to her answer. "My uncle has told me that your offer still stands."

"It does."

"Then, if you don't mind, I have a question I'd like to ask before I give you my answer."

"Anything," replied Darcy, while twisting the ring on his finger.

"Will I be allowed to see my family after we marry?"

"Yes, of course! Why would you think otherwise?" Darcy exclaimed. At her silent look, he continued on a sigh, "Right, please don't answer that. I am becoming quite aware of my error in judging your family when I had not yet met them. If it helps, I have been pleasantly surprised by the Gardiners."

"I am not surprised by that, they are wonderful and some of my very favorite people. So will I be allowed to invite them and the rest of my family for visits? Will my relations be allowed at Pemberley?"

"Yes! I have no intention of cutting you off from anyone. As my wife," Darcy was thoughtful for a moment, it felt so good to say that! He went on, "As my wife, while I would hope that you would want my opinion on invitations, you will have the right to invite whomever you wish. I have no intention of controlling you, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth was a little startled by his use of her Christian name. His voice had softened slightly on it, almost in reverence. It was...nice. She felt a significant amount of her worry melt away. He did not wish to control her! If he could say it, then she trusted him to mean it. She distinctly remembered him saying that he hated any kind of disguise.

Darcy watched her visibly relax before she spoke, "I accept your proposal, Mr. Darcy."

He was startled. It was so simply said, and it didn't sound...dreaded. It was almost as though she was truly willing. He felt a powerful warmth steal over him. She'd agreed!

Elizabeth watched a small smile appear on Darcy's face. She thought him handsome, even in her anger she'd acknowledged that, but with a smile, he was dangerously so.

"I swear to you, Elizabeth - I'm sorry, may I call you Elizabeth now?" at her nod, he continued, "you will not regret this. I will make sure of it." At this, he reached over and took her hand. He gently pulled it to his lips and placed a kiss on her gloveless knuckles. She'd never had her bare skin kissed before, what a sensation!

Elizabeth would never refer to Darcy as a lively man, but his expression was animated like she'd never seen before. It was gratifying to bring such pleasure. If only he was always this unguarded in his emotion, he would be so much easier to read and understand!

"I will hold you to it, sir," Elizabeth said, as she graced him with a small smile in return.

"Shall we join your aunt and uncle and begin our planning?" he asked, as held out his arm.

She took it slowly and they left the study for the sitting room.

It was done, they were engaged. While Elizabeth was no longer truly afraid, she still had many reservations about their ability to get along. They'd spent most of their time before this quarreling, and she did not particularly wish to spend the rest of their lives doing so. How they were going to make this work, she had no idea. Still, he obviously wanted this, and she was willing to do what she could.

For Darcy, he was happy to have her acceptance, but nearly as happy to have had a conversation where he hadn't angered her at all. After their last few meetings, he was beginning to wonder if it was possible. Thankfully, he now had a lifetime to figure it out.

_A/N: Before I hear that Lizzy has changed her mind too quickly, please bear with me! There's a large gap between acknowledging what needs to happen and actually putting it into practice. This is where I've been trying to get them. I think that both of them are the type to enter this marriage with good intentions - not at each other's throats - but that's not everything. They have a long way to go toward understanding and true love. This is the downfall with the WIP method of publishing, you can't see where I'm taking this quickly enough. As Evelyn Carnahan says - patience is a virtue! :)_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Sorry for the wait. We had a LOT going on in getting ready for Christmas. This chapter has been mostly written for a week, and I finally had time to sit down and edit!_

(8)

Darcy and Elizabeth entered the sitting room together. Mrs. Gardiner greeted Darcy and then looked to Elizabeth, who nodded.

"It's decided then?" she asked.

"Yes, Miss Bennet has agreed to be my wife," Darcy replied simply. He was much happier than the statement implied, but did not think Elizabeth would appreciate any overt display of satisfaction. He wished it could be different, but he still had high hopes for their future.

"Well then, I offer you both my congratulations. I hope you are able to join us for dinner, Mr. Darcy," invited Mrs. Gardiner.

"It would be my pleasure," he replied as he and Elizabeth sat.

The remainder of the afternoon and evening was spent in polite conversation. Mrs. Gardiner and Darcy spoke of Derbyshire, as it was discovered that she had grown up only five miles from Pemberley, at Lambton. Elizabeth was amazed, she had never seen Darcy so unreserved. Hadn't Miss Bingley told Jane that he could be so amiable among close friends? Was he that comfortable with the Gardiners, the very people he had declared objectionable just three weeks before? She could not decide if this was true acceptance of her relations, or merely a show for her. What had Colonel Fitzwilliam said to her question of why Mr. Darcy couldn't recommend himself to strangers? Because he would not 'give himself the trouble.' He was certainly 'giving himself the trouble' now!

To Elizabeth's relief, there was no talk of wedding plans that first evening. When Darcy made his leave, it was with promises of returning with settlement papers for Mr. Gardiner to review. With the following day being Sunday, the earliest they anticipated his return was Tuesday. There were no plans made for visits until then.

That night Elizabeth lay awake for several hours, thinking a lot and crying a little. At times it felt like her father wasn't gone. While she was at Longbourn, he could have easily been in his bookroom. Here in town, she was so used to spending time with the Gardiners without him, it was natural to not particularly miss him. But when she made a decision like this, one that she would have had his opinion on, she missed him. She wondered what he would say, knowing she didn't love Mr. Darcy, about her agreeing to marry him. Would he understand what she was doing, knowing he could have prevented it? Elizabeth was not blind to the fact that if he would have managed his estate and money better, she wouldn't have felt compelled to marry Mr. Darcy to save her family. She felt no resentment toward him, though. She loved her father dearly, faults and all. She just hoped he was not disappointed in her.

While Mr. Gardiner was out to business on Monday, Mrs. Gardiner broached the subject of wedding plans with Elizabeth.

"Lizzy, have you and Mr. Darcy discussed wedding dates?"

"We have not made any plans yet, Aunt. I think it was enough to become engaged on Saturday."

"Be that as it may, I want to know you've thought of it. Mr. Darcy may ask the same question when he meets with your uncle, and I do not want you to be caught off guard."

Elizabeth was thoughtful for a minute before responding, "I really don't know. While my first instinct is to delay as long as possible, I do not know if that is practical. I'm marrying him for the sake of my family, and if I am able to relieve their current situation sooner, I feel I ought to. It's not as though Mr. Darcy can begin supporting us before the wedding even if he was willing, as it would invite questions of my relationship with him."

"Very true. How soon, though? You are still in mourning, and it's not as though your family is homeless."

"And I will be in mourning for five more months. What kind of condition do you think the atmosphere at Longbourn will be in by then? I know what is generally expected, but how much sooner do you think I can marry and not cause a scandal?"

It was Mrs. Gardiner's turn to be thoughtful, "I think if you have mourned for at least two months, it would be understood. We can ask Mr. Darcy his opinion, since you will face heavier scrutiny from his circle."

"Then if we were to begin reading the banns next Sunday, that would still give us a full month from the announcement until the actual wedding. Do you think that is a respectable length of time for an engagement?" Elizabeth questioned.

"I do. I think a month keeps you from being questioned about rushing into it, which would not help your acceptance into Mr. Darcy's society."

They settled that the soonest day after the tenth of June that Mr. Darcy wished for should be taken. Their conversation then moved to other plans; how soon to bring the remainder of her family to town, and who, if anyone else, should be invited.

Darcy sent a note over late in the afternoon stating his intent to bring the draft settlement documents with him for an interview with Mr. Gardiner the following day, if Mr. Gardiner was available. A reply was sent to the affirmative, and they expected him at eleven o'clock.

Darcy arrived the following morning promptly at eleven, and he and Mr. Gardiner spent over an hour in the study before her uncle sent for Elizabeth to join them. She entered the room and greeted Darcy.

"Well Lizzy, I thought you might like to see these before I sent them back with Mr. Darcy to be finalized, in case you have any objections."

"Thank you, Uncle," Elizabeth replied as she sat down and accepted the documents. She glanced at Darcy to see what his reaction was to her being allowed a say, but he simply watched her quietly. If he objected, he was not showing his displeasure.

She read quietly for a while, until she reached the section that listed the amounts to be settled on her and her family.

"This is too much!" She exclaimed, "To settle so much on me, and then the pin money is wholly excessive, plus such a large annuity on my mother. Surely you needn't do so much."

"Elizabeth, this is what is due to you as my wife. I promised to take care of your family, and I mean to. With the amount your uncle and I understand your mother to have on her own, my additional will allow them to live in comfort, but very little more. There will not be room for much extravagance. I will not have your pin money or settlement lessened because of it. Your pin money is exactly what it should be for woman of your future station. I would be remiss as a husband in my position if I did anything less. If word got out, there would be suspicion as to why you were shorted, and it would cause more gossip. The dower is necessary to protect you and any future children, so that they you are all provided for outside of my heir's inheritance. While I would like to think our oldest son will be a man of honor, I do not want to leave you and our younger children to another's whims," was Darcy's firm reply.

With tears in her eyes, Elizabeth turned to him, "But I do not like it. I bring nothing to this marriage, and I do not want to take so much from you. It does not feel right."

"And that feeling does you credit, however wrong it is," he replied softly. "You may not be bringing financial assets to our future, but Elizabeth, I'm marrying you because I want you. If I wanted a dowry, I'd marry a dowry. I want the happiness I feel by merely being in your presence."

This only made Elizabeth's tears spill over as she began to cry, "How can you say that when I've been nothing but rude and hateful toward you? How can you say I bring you happiness?"

"You are not rude, you challenge me. You challenge me like no woman has before. I cannot explain how it feels to have an informed debate with a lively woman who does not change her opinion to match mine because she thinks it is what I want to hear. You know what you believe and you defend it with energy. At the same time, you can debate both sides just to make the other person defend themselves harder. You are one of the most naturally intelligent women I have ever met. I find you fascinating, and I don't expect that to change. I have found the best woman for me, and I wish to keep you with me, always."

He said this with such feeling, and he meant it. How could she not see herself for the treasure she was? She might feel forced into marrying him for financial reasons, but it went against everything she believed in. He had already realized she was not mercenary, but this honest rejection of his money was a balm to his heart and gave him such hope.

As he handed her his handkerchief, gently pressing it into her palm, Elizabeth stared at him in shock. Where had this man been when he'd proposed? She had no idea that he felt that way! When he spoke in that manner, she could almost believe that he truly loved her. As she watched him, she saw him squirm slightly in his chair. Was he truly that uncomfortable expressing his feelings?

"Lizzy, do you now find these amounts acceptable?" interrupted Mr. Gardiner, amused. The more time he spent with Mr. Darcy, the less he was concerned for his niece's future.

They both startled; they had forgotten her uncle was there.

Elizabeth took a deep breath to steady herself before responding, "I will not argue the amounts anymore. Uncle, how do you think my mother will do with an additional income? You know as well as I do that she is incapable of economy. While the amount is more than sufficient, I do not think she will steward it well."

"What do you suggest then, Lizzy?"

"I think that it would be better to list specific, necessary items that will be paid for on her behalf, in a way that she cannot overspend. For example, we must agree upon the house she lets, so that it meets certain expectations and is a reasonable price; an account could be set up at the grocer and butcher with monthly allowances; we would pay servants on her behalf. Perhaps a small amount of pin money for my sisters. Any spending over these predetermined things which she wished to do would need to come out of her own income."

Elizabeth turned to Darcy here, "If you do not want the trouble of paying separate bills every year, I would be willing to steward the account on her behalf."

It was Darcy's turn to be impressed.

"I cannot find fault with that plan, and you know your mother better than I do. I leave it up to you who stewards the account."

"Thank you," was her reply, as she returned to her reading.

Elizabeth looked up as she finished, "Do I really require an additional sum for my initial wardrobe? I'm quite certain that the pin money will more than cover anything I need. I have no intention of buying the amount of clothes this would cover immediately."

"Lizzy, Mr. Darcy added this when I expressed your aunt's concern about your lack of trousseau. Our gift to you will be a new gown that you can use for the wedding day, but other than that, will you have any dresses that would be suitable for your new life? You will be traveling in a much higher circle of acquaintance than you are used to, and your clothes will need to match. Besides, every young woman should have new things to start her married life, and you know your mother can't afford to provide that now."

The thought of Mr. Darcy purchasing the personal items that would normally be part of a trousseau caused Elizabeth to blush. It didn't matter that her pin money would provide those things later, it was awkward to think of him paying the bill now.

While she still didn't think she'd need to spend so much, she could agree that she needed new clothing.

She sighed, "Fine, I will not argue the amount."

She didn't expect she'd win anyway. She was also starting to think the 'ten thousand a year' that she'd heard upon first meeting Mr. Darcy was an understatement. He didn't seem like the type to outspend his income, and if this meeting was any indication, there was plenty of income to go around.

"I assume you will have final copies of these drawn up soon, Mr. Darcy?" asked Mr. Gardiner.

"Yes, by the end of the week."

"I think we're ready to begin the reading of the banns, then. We've already discussed the wedding date, Lizzy, and Mr. Darcy has agreed with your aunt on the social acceptability of your plans. Would you be satisfied with a June eleventh wedding date?"

Elizabeth gave a simple yes. With the discussion over, Darcy joined them for a few minutes in the drawing room.

As Elizabeth walked him out, he asked, "I should like to introduce you to my sister Georgiana. Perhaps you could join us for tea tomorrow?"

She looked at him carefully for a moment. Would Miss Darcy be allowed to come near Cheapside at Gracechurch Street?

"My aunt and I would be delighted."

"As will Georgiana. If you would like to view the house, you are welcome to. Perhaps I could have my carriage come for you and your aunt, and then your uncle could join us later for dinner?"

Elizabeth agreed and then bid him a good day.

As Darcy left, he thought back over their conversation, where Elizabeth had questioned her worth in their relationship. He'd always thought she was so much more confident than that showed. He did not understand why she would be insecure about herself in this, when she'd made it clear that his opinion of her didn't matter. He'd hoped that she would come to care, but what she said earlier made it sound as though she already did. It was beginning to become quite clear to Darcy that he did not understand Elizabeth nearly as well as he'd thought.

The Darcy carriage collected Elizabeth and her aunt as planned the following afternoon. Stepping out at her future house, Elizabeth was overwhelmed. Of this was she to be mistress! While not the largest townhouse she'd seen, it was even more clear that her fiancé was at least as wealthy as rumor had it. She would not be surprised to find it had more bedrooms than Longbourn, and it was a townhouse!

She felt herself growing rather anxious, until her aunt spoke.

"It is just a house Lizzy. It might be larger than we are used to, but I think you will find it not much different from your uncle and my house. More and bigger rooms, a few more servants, but that is all."

Elizabeth relaxed, "You are right of course, aunt. It is overwhelming to see the house that I will call home, though. This puts the reality of my future in perspective."

"You'll do fine."

"My mother did teach me how to run a house, that's for sure. I do not think even London quality could scoff at her table."

Mrs. Gardiner smiled in response. Elizabeth was never held down for long.

The door was opened by the butler, who took their things and led them to the drawing room. Elizabeth glanced around and then looked at her aunt with a raised eyebrow. It was definitely bigger, and Mr. Collins would have a hard time containing his description of the crown moulding. She would not call it ostentatious by far, but the quality and elegance was clear.

"Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet," Darcy greeted almost eagerly as soon as they were announced in the drawing room, stepping forward with a young lady they presumed to be Miss Darcy.

He performed the introductions, proper curtsies followed, and then a momentary silence fell on the group.

Knowing the little she did about Miss Darcy, and assuming Mr. Wickham lied about her as well, Elizabeth hoped she was broaching a comfortable topic when she asked, "Miss Darcy, I have heard that you are very fond of music. Are you working on a particular piece now?"

"I have been learning a couple of new piano sonatas, well, new to me, that is. I believe Haydn's middle works are at least forty years old. I like to play what speaks to me, though."

Darcy looked at his sister with a slight smile, she was making an effort to speak more than usual, and he was proud of her.

"Yes, I believe our music is a part of our hearts, and speaks to our emotions. I would love to hear you play, as I have been told by several people that you play exquisitely."

"Not exquisitely!" exclaimed Miss Darcy in embarrassment, "I do enjoy the art, and practice as much as I can, but I but I am not as good as that suggests."

"Georgiana, you do play very well," interjected Darcy.

Miss Darcy looked to her brother and blushed, and then turned back to Elizabeth, "My brother tells me that you play very well, Miss Bennet."

"Not 'very well' at all," she replied with a laugh, "if your brother told you that, he grossly overstated my talents." Elizabeth looked at Mr. Darcy with sparkling eyes, "I can only imagine what else he's exaggerated, and I'm afraid you will find me a great disappointment!"

In that moment, Darcy realised how much he loved to see Elizabeth happy. He had intrinsically known he wanted her to be happy, but seeing it after having her be so solemn as of late showed him how important it was.

"I have done nothing of the sort," he rebutted.

"Oh! I couldn't be disappointed...what I mean to say is my brother wouldn't choose a..."

"Come now, Miss Darcy," Elizabeth gently interrupted, as she took the younger girl's arm, "I am merely teasing your brother. I don't think enough people do so, and it is good for him. He can be far too serious."

The last was said with a nearly flirtatious look at Darcy. The young ladies moved toward the sofa and sat together, continuing their conversation.

"I have feeling you had better get used to that, Mr. Darcy," said Mrs. Gardiner with a small laugh.

He startled, and a little guiltily offered Mrs. Gardiner his arm to join them. Elizabeth was driving him to distraction, and he adored her for it.

"I sincerely hope so, Mrs. Gardiner."

Their conversation over tea was pleasant. They were able to draw Miss Darcy out with more talk of Lambton and Derbyshire. It was obvious that as she felt more comfortable with the group, she was able to speak up more often. They returned to the topic of music, and Elizabeth saw this was where her true excitement lay. Her eyes lit up, and she was able to discuss the feelings that her favorite pieces portrayed with energy. Her enthusiasm for performing duets with her future sister was endearing. Elizabeth easily confirmed that Mr. Wickham had been wrong here, too. He'd described Miss Darcy as proud, but it was clear to see that she was merely shy. Elizabeth was grateful that Mr. Darcy's only immediate family was accepting of her without apparent reservation.

After tea, the tour of the house came. And what a tour it was! Elizabeth was happy to see that the decor was all tastefully simple. No brocade fabrics, ornate furniture, or gilt paints, but rather the rooms were light and airy. While it was clear that everything was of high quality, it showed that the house was made to live in, not an exhibit to be viewed. Mr. and Miss Darcy showed them the principal rooms together, but Darcy left them in the hands of his housekeeper, Mrs. Rowley, when they moved to the master suite. Elizabeth was given instructions to note any changes she wished to make to her rooms and the sitting room that they shared, in hopes that they could be completed before the wedding. The thought of them sharing the suite brought another blush to her cheeks. It was difficult to picture herself as a married woman.

Other than a fresh coat of paint on the walls and updated bed and window coverings, Elizabeth couldn't imagine changing a thing about her room. The furniture was as elegant as the rest of the house. She was beginning to see that the late Mrs. Darcy must have had much influence on the current Darcys' decorating style. Mrs. Gardiner commented on the elegance, and the housekeeper confirmed that nothing had changed in the mistress' rooms since it was restyled for Lady Ann upon her marriage.

Miss Darcy looked around the room wistfully, "I have only been in this room twice in my memory. I have no actual memories of my mother, only the stories I've been told."

Elizabeth's heart ached for the girl, who had lost both of her parents, and well before their time. She was all too aware of that feeling herself.

"Is there anything in here that you would like to keep for yourself?" she asked Miss Darcy.

The girl's eyes lit up before falling again, "Oh, I couldn't! The furniture is all a matched set, and it wouldn't make sense to separate them."

"Well, not the furniture then. Perhaps there is something in your mother's dressing room. Shall we look?"

"Yes," added Mrs. Gardiner, "even something small that was hers would give you a connection to your mother's memory."

Mrs. Rowley led the ladies into the smaller room, and Elizabeth began to laugh, "I hope no one expects me to fill that closet. I cannot possibly shop that much, I would go mad."

"You do not like to shop for new clothes?" asked Miss Darcy.

"Not as much as some. I enjoy having new things sometimes, but the stress of a dressmaker's shop keeps me from overspending my budget. I find being poked and prodded and offered the latest styles, no matter how garish, frustrating. I know what I prefer to wear, and it never quite meets our local dressmaker's expectations. She, along with my mother, are always pushing me toward more lace and less neckline. While she has good intentions, my mother has very different taste from mine. I find the conflict not worth the reward, generally. I don't suppose I will get out of the process here, either," she finished on a sigh.

"If it helps Lizzy, your wedding dress will likely be designed and fitted before your mother comes to town. That is one less argument against your preferences," commented Mrs. Gardiner.

"And I am comfortable with the modiste my aunt uses," offered Miss Darcy, "she is not considered the most fashionable in London, but my aunt adores her. Lady Matlock prefers to keep to her own style, and Mrs. - does not argue with her. She offers advice and her opinion, but lets you make your own decisions without a fight. Perhaps we can try there for your wardrobe."

Elizabeth felt that Miss Darcy would make a much better shopping partner than her mother. If only she could have Jane and her aunt along, too, then buying a new wardrobe would be much more fun.

The ladies went to Lady Ann's dressing table and began opening drawers. After a few moments, they stumbled on a drawer with a brush and mirror set. When Miss Darcy gently removed them from the drawer, it was easy to see the engraved "AD" on the handles. She ran her fingertips over the letters before looking up at Elizabeth.

"They're yours. While they are absolutely lovely, I think they mean more to you than they can to me."

"Thank you so much, Miss Bennet. I have so little from her."

"They were likely a wedding gift to celebrate your mother's new name," added Mrs. Gardiner, "and given to her by a close female relative. These should be yours, my dear. It's only fitting."

She was very pleased with how quickly her niece and soon-to-be sister were getting along. The new life Elizabeth was entering would become much easier with a friend close by to depend on. She glanced over at Mrs. Rowley to see her gazing fondly at the pair as well.

Miss Darcy's smile trembled. These women were so kind to her. She had been momentarily terrified when her brother had told her of his engagement. She had seen the so-called eligible women that had fawned over him. She so wished to find a friend in her new sister, and she shouldn't have worried. Her brother would not have chosen anyone who would treat her badly.

"Miss Darcy, would you mind calling me Lizzy? We are to be sisters very soon, and that is what all of my current ones call me."

Miss Darcy's eyes lit up again as she replied, "I would love to, Lizzy. Please call me Georgiana. I have always wanted a sister, and I believe I shall quite enjoy it," she finished shyly.

"Be careful what you wish for! I have four sisters and there is rarely peace in our house," Elizabeth replied with a smile.

"Four! What is that like? I only have my brother, and he is so much older than I am."

"I love them all dearly and they nearly all drive me crazy. I cannot imagine it any other way, though. I will introduce them all to you when they come to town for the wedding. We will happily welcome you to the group if you like, and then you can decide for yourself how it feels."

They were soon finished with the room, and Mrs. Rowley led them back to the drawing room and Mr. Darcy.

_A/N: I imagine that Mr. Darcy would be adding enough to Mrs. Bennet's income to get her to about £500 a year. That's how much the Dashwood ladies had in Sense and Sensibility. Doesn't out Darcy too much, but allows them to maintain a respectable living._

_From the research I've done, social mourning rules were more guidelines during the Regency period, especially for everyone other than a widow. Strict rules were more in the Victorian era, when better medical care started reducing early death rates (and they were all more stuffy). Society might frown on it, but they were more understanding of the need to marry for security. It mostly caused a gossip stir, and then was forgotten at the next scandal._


	9. Chapter 9

(9)

Dinner that evening was again filled with warm, pleasant conversation. While Elizabeth was no longer completely surprised by Darcy's amiability with her aunt and uncle, she was still waiting to see how long it would last. When her aunt invited the Darcys to Gracechurch Street in return, would Georgiana be allowed to come? Even further down the road, would he be so accepting of all her family now? She doubted that. When he'd laid judgement on the Gardiners, it was before he'd met them. They had easily proven him wrong, and he already knew her mother and younger sisters. She understood that they could be a handful, but they were her family. All she really wanted there was for him to be less proud and more agreeable. He'd made no effort at pleasant manners with them in Hertfordshire, but she hoped that would change.

For Darcy, the night was a teaser of what was to come. Spending the evening in pleasant company with his Elizabeth was wonderful. The only downside was her leaving with her aunt and uncle. He was looking forward to when she would stay with him, where she belonged.

Plans were made for dinner at the Gardiners' in a few days. Darcy accepted on behalf of both him and Georgiana without hesitation. He'd spent enough time with the Gardiners to know that they were clever, well-informed people who provided excellent conversation. He'd been to their home more than once, and it was in a clean, safe neighborhood. He did not see any reason why Georgiana could not spend her time in such good company. He remembered the reproofs from both his cousin and Elizabeth about his evaluating people's quality by their rank in society, and he saw that they were right. He had become snobbish because it was easier than trying to get to know people, but he was intelligent enough to recognize that he to would rather spend his time in the Gardiners' sitting room than Lady Catherine's. His sister's delicate spirit was safer there, too.

The ladies made plans to begin wedding dress shopping the following Monday. They had agreed that it would be a good test of Mrs. -'s shop to try for the dress there. If Elizabeth was comfortable, then she could return for her trousseau after the wedding. If they waited until Monday, the banns would have been read and she would be more likely to be accepted for an appointment with the Darcy name believably behind her. Her aunt did not think they could procure an appointment without it in a modiste the _ton_ used, as her name was not enough.

That night, Elizabeth sat down to write to her mother. If the letter was posted in the morning, she could be assured that it would arrive at Longbourn before the banns were read on Sunday. Elizabeth had written to Jane last Sunday to share her news, and hoped to receive a reply soon. She wished that Jane could be in London with her during this time, but they both knew that Jane was more needed at Longbourn. She could help keep the peace, and would also be there for their mother when she was given the news of Elizabeth's engagement. They were fairly certain they knew how their mother would react, but they were less sure of Mr. Collins. He'd be getting rid of one of them, but it was Elizabeth, and to his former patroness' nephew. He ought to be happy, but they weren't sure how deep his resentment of her went, and if Mr. Darcy's higher status would affect his reaction.

Elizabeth wrote a short note to Charlotte as well, so that she would have warning of the news.

Elizabeth received the return letter from Jane on Saturday morning. Her sister sent genuine felicitations for her future. Jane was glad that Mr. Darcy would welcome their family, not that she had thought he wouldn't. Her cheerfulness still seemed forced to Elizabeth, but with all that had happened it was impossible to tell where the sadness stemmed most from. To her relief, Longbourn did not sound any worse than when she'd left. It had been less than a week when Jane wrote the letter, but her leaving had likely helped both her mother and Mr. Collins, since she was the most resented by them. Overall, the letter did not contain any surprises, thankfully.

Darcy brought Georgiana early for dinner on Saturday, with the excuse that Mr. Gardiner needed to sign the final settlement documents. Truly he wished for some time with Elizabeth, preferably alone, or as alone as they were allowed to be. He could acknowledge that he had been blind to believe that a few amicable conversations meant she cared for him when he'd proposed at Rosings. That he'd caught her completely unawares with that proposal showed it. If they were going to be successful as a couple, it was clear they needed to know each other better and there was only so much that could be said in polite company. While he could wait until they were married, he preferred to work on her opinion of him sooner rather than later.

As soon as they'd exchanged greetings with the ladies, Mr. Gardiner was busy yet, he suggested a walk to the group. After a little discussion, it was settled that the four adults would walk with the Gardiner children and their governess to the park near the house.

Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm as soon as they reached the street, and allowed the remainder of the group to move a little in front of them. To his relief, Elizabeth did not appear worried about being alone with him.

"I've seen the fabric and paint being used to update the mistress' rooms, and I think the colors are very nice and suit you well," he said. He'd settled on that being a safe topic to start.

Elizabeth looked a little surprised at his interest and replied with a simple, "Thank you."

"I'm not surprised by the colors, though. Your disposition is bright and lively, and I've always thought you dressed to match. I expect you like to surround yourself with sunny colors when you can."

Elizabeth looked at him in amazement. That he'd not only noticed, but clearly put thought into the way she dressed was a bit startling.

"You are correct, I generally prefer colors that remind me of sunshine."

They were quiet again. Darcy had hoped she would continue the conversation, as she usually did, and he didn't know what else to talk about. The longer they were silent, the more frustrated he became. He did not wish to waste this opportunity on pointless small talk.

"Is your family planning to come to town for the wedding?" he finally asked.

"Yes, they will come about a week before," she replied.

That seemed like the right moment to ask him something that had been on her mind.

"Who will be standing up with you at the wedding?" she asked.

Darcy hesitated to respond, "I would ask Bingley, but now I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"And why not?" Elizabeth asked sharply.

"I do not want to make him uncomfortable," he said stiffly.

"I assume you are referring to Jane's presence. She will be in London a full week beforehand. If they are both okay with standing up opposite of the other, we can ask them if they would like to have their first meeting in a quieter place."

She looked over at Darcy and saw his face was that unreadable mask he wore, and she grew more frustrated, "Or were you not planning on telling Mr. Bingley about the possibility of Jane caring for him? Were you hoping he wouldn't question why you are willing to marry me when you convinced him that Jane was too low for him? I highly doubt you are going to drop the acquaintance, and it's not like you can hide a wife!"

"It has nothing to do with you or your sister's status. Do you know for sure that your sister still cares for Bingley? What if he's been gone too long and she no longer cares? I have not seen him since the middle of March, his feelings may be lessening as well. He has not gone back on his decision and visited her. Why throw them together if it will just cause them pain?"

Elizabeth was furious, and it was everything she could do to control her voice, "And who are you to decide for them when you don't even know? You are the principal reason that they did not have a chance to work out the possibility of a future in the first place. He has not visited because you told him he shouldn't. He obviously puts incredibly too much faith in your judgement. Even if they are making a mistake, they are two adults in control of their own faculties and it is not your job to oversee them!"

Elizabeth wanted to scream. She dropped his arm and turned to look directly at him. Was he going to try to do this to her when they married? Make decisions of this magnitude about her without even consulting her opinion? Did he think this meant 'not controlling' her?

Darcy was taken off guard by her anger and was trying to think over what she'd said to formulate a reply.

He took too long to respond and Elizabeth spoke again, her voice trembling, "Would you stand for anyone interfering in your life in such a manner? I may not know you very well, but I am quite certain you would be absolutely furious if you found out someone tried to direct your life without consulting your wishes. Are you saying that they cannot think for themselves? I find what you are doing an insult to the intelligence of someone you claim to care about!"

At this she walked away from him toward the rest of their group. She did not wish to cry, and she knew that she was on the verge of saying things in anger that she would regret.

Darcy watched her walk away from him without giving him a chance to respond. He was annoyed that she was so quick to assume the worst in him yet. How were they supposed to get to know each other if at each opportunity she didn't give him a chance? The walk was not going the way he'd hoped at all. He sighed. He needed to figure out what had made her so angry so quickly.

As he slowly caught up to the group, he thought through what she'd said, hoping to figure out where he'd gone wrong in her eyes. He genuinely did not wish to meddle in Bingley and Miss Bennet's future again. He wanted to leave it alone. He was worried that if he told Bingley that Miss Bennet cared for him but she turned out not to, his friend would be even more devastated. On Bingley's side, he knew that Charles had been sadder than usual after leaving Hertfordshire, and that it had taken a significant amount of convincing to get him to believe Jane Bennet did not love him. Charles had asked his opinion of marrying Jane, and he'd given his friend the advice he'd felt best at the time.

Elizabeth had accused Bingley of relying too much on his judgement, and then Darcy of not letting his friend think for himself, insulting Bingley's intelligence. He knew that Charles was a clever man, he would not care for their friendship so much if he was not. But he was also younger, more naive in the world, and rather tender-hearted when it came to the fairer sex. He did rely on Darcy's judgement where he was unsure of himself. But did he, Darcy, take over his friend's ability to think for himself? Darcy knew that he himself would not let a friend's advice stand in the way of the woman he loved, he went after what he wanted. But Bingley would. Had he taken advantage of that when he'd not just offered advice but talked his friend into his decision? Had he decided his friend was not smart enough to think for himself? He suddenly felt ashamed of himself. When had he become so arrogant? He was being high-handed, in the beginning and now. His friend and her sister were perfectly capable of deciding their futures for themselves. She had said he was the principal reason they didn't have the option of thinking for themselves, and she was right.

Was that enough to make Elizabeth so angry, though? She had seemed near tears. Even though her sister was affected, he didn't think that was enough to upset her so. There was something more underlying, and he needed to figure out what that was.

He hurried to catch up with the group. He saw that Elizabeth was playing with her cousins while his sister and Mrs. Gardiner chatted to the side. He decided to join their conversation and give Elizabeth time before speaking to her again. He mostly stood silently next to the women, but both of them seemed to recognise that he needed time to himself and let him be.

When Mrs. Gardiner declared it was time for the children to return to the house, Darcy quickly moved to offer Elizabeth his arm again. She hesitated, but then took it. He was relieved that she was at least willing to walk with him again. He took it as permission to speak as well.

"You are right. It is wrong to purposely keep Bingley and Miss Bennet apart to spare discomfort, and I do respect their ability to think for themselves."

Elizabeth was startled by his simple admission. Would she ever cease to be surprised by this man?

Darcy saw that she did not appear angry anymore and decided to simply ask her what he wanted to know.

"It appears to me that you are upset about more than just my interference, though."

"I am worried that our definition of 'not controlling' is not nearly the same thing," Elizabeth replied after a moment. "Just last week you said you have no wish of controlling me, yet I see you making decisions that impact peoples' lives without consulting them at all. To me, that is controlling the information they have to think for themselves, and therefore impacting their ability to make their own choices. If you do not see anything wrong with doing so, I assume you will treat me the same way. I do not like it."

"I did not think of it that way. I've been making decisions that impact others for so long, tenants and servants and such, that I just do what I see is best. I'm afraid that I've let it slip into situations where I don't have authority. You were right that I would not be pleased if anyone else did the same to me. I am sorry that you had to worry that I will do that to you. I promise that I will try to remember to include you in all decisions that impact you."

Darcy felt her relax as she said, "Thank you."

"I do wish for Bingley to be my groomsman. How do you suggest we go about handling the delicate situation of my friend and Miss Bennet?" he asked.

He was rewarded with a brilliant smile. He found himself smiling slightly in return. It appeared they were back to cordiality again.

"I think that if you speak to Mr. Bingley and I speak to Jane, and we both let them know that we'd like them to stand up with us and that the other will be there, they will live with it for our sakes. They each care enough about us to act like everything is fine, even if it is not. I think we will likely have a dinner with my family before the wedding, and with Mr. Bingley being your groomsman, it is very fitting for him to be invited. Then at least they will not see each other for the first time at the wedding itself. Now the other question I would ask is when will we be correcting the misconception that they have of each other's feelings? Due to his lack of confidence, Mr. Bingley does not think Jane loves him, and due to his abandonment, Jane feels the same. Since it stems from faulty advice, I think we need to help Mr. Bingley along a little."

Darcy was pleased by her inclusion of them both, as a pair, in the solution. It felt good to know they would work together, especially since he was not particularly looking forward to telling Bingley he had purposely kept Miss Bennet's presence in town from him.

"I need to confess to Bingley that I hid your sister's visit to town from him. I will also need to tell him that I am no longer certain that she doesn't love him. I do not want to get his hopes up though, if she will no longer have him because of his inconstancy. Are you sure she still loves him?"

"I think she does," Elizabeth replied, "but she does not tell me so anymore, like she had in the winter. She is still greatly affected by the mention of his name, though. It is difficult to tell from her letters now, since she has so many other reasons to be sad. While I think that she still loves him enough to forgive his inconstancy, I cannot say for sure that she would immediately. I want you to know that I do understand your desire to protect your friend from the pain of that. I do not want to open up wounds in either of them unnecessarily, but if they still love each other and are being kept apart by misinformation, I think we need to correct their information if we can. Perhaps simple honesty is the best idea here."

"I agree. It does not follow that I want to make this confession. Bingley could rightly hate me for this. I do not wish to lose my friend."

"Don't you find your friendship on unequal footing right now, though? It would bother me to the point of avoiding him if I were in your shoes."

He sighed. She was right, he had been avoiding Bingley out of guilt. While this would be painful he needed to do it.

"You are aggravatingly correct," he said ruefully, which caused her to burst out laughing.

"I'm glad to see you concede to me however unwillingly," she said with dancing eyes. "If it helps, you may tell Mr. Bingley that I think he would make an excellent brother. I will do what I can to help her stay in love with him."

"He would make an excellent brother, wouldn't he."

"Just what Miss Bingley has been hoping for! She would love to find out that you and her brother are related by marriage," she said mischievously. "Perhaps not the way she's thinking, but the same result."

"And the only way it was ever going to happen, no matter what she hoped for," he shuddered as he said it. "I can't imagine being married to her. The idea she's held of Charles marrying my sister wasn't much better. Georgiana is far too young to be marrying, but that hasn't stopped her from dropping incredibly obvious hints."

"If her brother married your sister, you would be thrown together constantly. How could you fail to see her as the perfect choice for your wife then? She has something in her air and the manner of her walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, in addition to all of her accomplishments."

Darcy looked at Elizabeth earnestly, "But what about improving her mind by extensive reading? All of those other accomplishments pale in comparison to a well-informed mind. That is my idea of an ideal woman, the only one I want for my wife."

He had realised that he was too subtle in his compliments to her before, too indirect. He'd been trying to control them so that she wouldn't get the wrong idea, but now that he wanted her to have that particular idea, he wished he hadn't been so circumspect.

Elizabeth flushed at this and was silent. She was starting to see where Darcy had complimented her before and she'd missed it in her high dudgeon. Had he truly been attracted to her even then?

They reached the house, and Darcy was very satisfied. While they had argued yet again, good understanding had come from it. He considered the walk a success of his hopes.

Darcy and Elizabeth were both very appreciative the presence of the Gardiners. They were such excellent hosts, doing such a good job of keeping everyone comfortable. They kept conversation going when it lagged, bringing the group together when needed and allowing Darcy and Elizabeth small moments of semi-privacy when they saw it was desired. They both put Georgiana at ease, too. Elizabeth couldn't imagine trying to conduct this courtship at Longbourn under the interference of her mother and Mr. Collins. It would have been disastrous.

The next morning, while Elizabeth was attending church with her aunt and uncle's family, she thought about the banns being read at Longbourn. She wondered if it would cause a stir. If it didn't on its own, she had no doubt that her mother would make sure it did. There was no going back now, though. Her future was being declared to the world as she sat in a pew. She felt a small amount of anxiety at the thought, but it soon passed. At least there were no banns read here. Due to their marrying from Darcy's London parish, he would have to sit through the banns being read, which with his aversion to public display, she was sure he would not enjoy.

Elizabeth was correct in her thinking. At the end of services, there were several sets of wedding banns read, and Darcy sat stiffly next to Georgiana in the pew until his came up. While he enjoyed hearing he and Elizabeth's names together, he did not enjoy the stares and startled expressions which invariably followed. It wouldn't be so hard if he were at Pemberley to hear it, but here in London any surprise news of a marriage in the _ton_ was cause for gossip. He tried to gather Georgiana quickly and escape, but they were not fast enough.

It would probably help if the questions weren't so pointless. Asking if it was true when the banns had just been read followed up by where his bride's family was from when it was stated in the banns themselves made it difficult to keep him from rolling his eyes. He spoke as little as possible and escaped as soon as he could. Once they were safely in the carriage he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you alright, brother?" asked Georgiana.

He looked at her in surprise, "Yes, I'm fine."

"You seem angry, is all."

"I do not like being made into a spectacle."

"Do you really think they were doing that? People are naturally curious, and I don't think they were being malicious."

"I know that, but do they need to ask such pointless questions? Really, they didn't learn anything new by it."

"You aren't generally going to learn anything new in small talk, it's just being polite."

"I don't like it."

Georgiana watched him for a minute and then burst out laughing, "When did you get to be such a curmudgeon, brother?"

Darcy looked at his sister sharply, "You sound like Elizabeth."

She responded with a grin, "According to your fiancee, it's good for you to be laughed at once in a while." She caught Darcy off-guard when she became more serious, "Really brother, what would Elizabeth have said if she would have seen how you handled that? Sometimes you have to put up with inane small talk as part of polite society. It's kind of rude not to."

Darcy contemplated her last comments. Did he really come across as a curmudgeon? He didn't like small talk, but did that make him rude? Is this what Elizabeth had meant when she had scolded him for his 'arrogance, conceit, and selfish disdain for others' that evening at Hunsford? She had said that it was based purely off his behaviour, not the misconceptions she'd been under. The two women he loved most had now called him out for his behaviour towards people he found annoying. It was hard to deny the possibility of their being right when they both said it separately. He looked up at his sister, who was now calmly looking out the window. She was obviously not upset with him, which Elizabeth had been, so it wasn't stemming from anger. He thought himself above the small talk, had that translated into considering himself above the people who made it? Many people he respected were perfectly capable of making small talk, and he didn't consider himself above them.

They were right. Just because he didn't want to make small talk didn't make it fine for him to be rude to those who did. When had his manners become so lacking? He cringed. He had always considered himself to be of good breeding, but the more time he spent with Elizabeth, the more he realised he had fallen away from what he knew was right and allowed himself to think meanly of the rest of the world. Because of his status he generally got away with it, but was that who he wanted to be? A spoiled, selfish, arrogant man who felt entitled? He was lucky a woman of Elizabeth's integrity was even willing to marry him. No wonder she hadn't wanted to, and had only agreed when forced by her circumstances. He reached home feeling heartily ashamed of himself.

_A/N: Darcy has yet to be fully "heartily ashamed" of himself as he says in the end of the original. I think that so quickly getting what he wanted made him forget some of the introspection he would have done if left to himself to endlessly try and figure out where he'd gone wrong. Caught up in the moment, he will be getting his humility handed to him in pieces over the next few weeks in the story. We're seeing some of the dawning comprehension now. _

_Thanks again for the lovely reviews, as someone who has a strong need to be liked, they are great for the soul! ;)_


	10. Chapter 10

(10)

Monday morning found Darcy alone in a quiet house. His sister had left earlier with Elizabeth and her aunt to go wedding dress shopping. The ladies had only stayed a few minutes, and he'd exchanged little more than greetings with Elizabeth. The relationship between his sister and fiancee was blossoming beautifully though, and was everything he could hope for. He felt his relationship with Elizabeth was moving along, but definitely not as fast as he would like. She was more comfortable in his presence, but she still did not view them as compatible. He knew he had not presented himself well to her from the beginning, and it was up to him to show her who he was and could be. Falling for her had shown him where he'd deviated from the man he wished to be, and he was determined to right himself. He wanted to meet her expectations, and not just for her, but because he wanted to be the kind of man who was worthy of her.

His rambling thoughts were interrupted by a commotion in the hall. He stood as he answered the knock on his door with a welcome. Morris opened it to allow his Aunt Fitzwilliam entrance.

"Darcy dear, I do believe you have forgotten to inform me of something rather important. You know how I hate to find out family news from the paper. Now, do you have anything to report?" she began, without even allowing his greeting.

"Good morning, Aunt," he greeted with a bow, "perhaps you would like to have a seat?"

"They must have it right then, if you want me to be comfortable. I would like to know who she is, but first, did my son know about her and neglect to inform me as well?"

"Ah, if you mean Henry, he knows who she is but he does not know that I am officially engaged. I was not the last I saw him."

"Of course I am referring to my youngest. He may not have known officially, but it sounds as though he knew you were contemplating it. Is there a reason you've been so secretive?"

"Not secretive, but rather quiet, and there are two reasons, actually."

His aunt simply raised her eyebrow and waited.

"Last I saw Henry, I was not sure she would have me. I did not want to say anything before I had her acceptance. Also, her family is in mourning for her father, but we are wedding anyway. We are trying to keep this as quiet as possible for her sake."

"Tsk, wedding before her mourning is over. Why the hurry? Fitzwilliam Darcy, what have you done?" she scolded.

"Nothing that requires a rush! I have more respect for her than that. Really Aunt, have a little faith in me, please," he replied.

Lady Fitzwilliam smiled, "Just making sure, my dear. I don't doubt you. I would still like to know why you are flouting society and marrying so soon."

"Her family's home was entailed, and the heir is...less than pleasant. They need to move out as soon as possible."

His aunt gave him a shrewd look, "And her mother's settlement doesn't give them enough to live on? Darcy, how poor is she, exactly?"

"She's the daughter of a landed gentleman," he replied evasively.

"That's not what I asked. Does she even have a penny to her name?"

"Yes," he sighed out, "but not much more."

"I thought you knew better than to fall for a fortune hunter's tricks, young man," the Countess said in a disappointed tone.

"I do know, Aunt, and she's no fortune hunter, of that I'm sure."

His aunt didn't respond, just waited for Darcy to explain.

He looked away when he said, "She refused me the first time I asked her, before her father died, simply because she did not like me enough to marry me. She only agreed to marry me when I offered to help remove her remaining family from their current situation." He looked back at his aunt, "Trust me, she is not happy about feeling mercenary. She has made that very clear."

"You are marrying a virtually penniless woman who does not even like you? Whatever for? Are you out of your mind?"

"I love her and she makes me want to be a better man."

"But you just said she does not love you in return. Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think this speaks to future happiness. Will you spend your life trying to be someone you are not just to please a woman who may never return your affection?" she asked in concern. "Darcy, you can't make someone love you by changing into something you are not. It doesn't work that way."

He looked uncomfortable at this, but stood his ground, "I do know that. I am not trying to become a different man, but rather a better one. I have failings, failings that I did not see before her. She fearlessly told me where I fall short, and I agree with her. I know that I cannot make her love me."

His aunt watched him quietly for a minute.

"You are taking an awful risk that she may never love you in return. You could spend your life pining for something you'll never have. Darcy, are you sure?"

"I am. I have weighed the risk, believe me, and she is worth it. When Elizabeth loves, it is with a fierceness that I have never seen before. I want that. Even if she never comes to love me passionately, even if it is just her familial love, it will be enough."

"You seem to think she is perfect. No one is flawless like that. Are you sure you aren't blinding yourself?"

"She has flaws, but I know what they are and I adore her anyway."

"You are set on her, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I see that I will not change your mind. Well then, what can we, your uncle and I, do? Do you think we can help her along at all?"

"If you welcome her, show the _ton_ you approve of her, she will be more comfortable. I expect Aunt Catherine to reject her outright. You know what her plans are. If you countered that with acceptance, you would help ease Elizabeth's mind. From what she's said, I think she's afraid of feeling isolated. Georgiana has accepted her with open arms. If you do as well, I think it would help."

"I will need to meet her. I cannot blindly accept a woman I do not know, but I will try to see the best of her, for your sake. Because of my schedule, it will need to be next week, but I will send her an invitation for tea."

"I could not ask for more. She will win you over on her own, you'll see."

They moved to other family topics until his aunt made her leave.

When Georgiana returned, she was full of excitement from the shopping trip. She adored Lizzy's taste, Mrs. Gardiner was so kind, and she couldn't wait for her brother to see his fiancé in her dress. They had tried several basic styles on Lizzy to help her decide, and then had sketches done with fabrics and embellishments. It had been so hard to decide because Lizzy had looked lovely in everything! Georgiana couldn't tell her brother the details, though, because it would ruin the surprise. He should just be ready to be stunned.

She dashed around his desk, kissed his cheek and thanked him for giving her the best sister ever and then whirled out of the study as quickly as she'd come in. Darcy stared after her in amazement, wishing his Aunt Fitzwilliam could have seen Elizabeth's impact on his up to recently dispirited sister.

Elizabeth received a letter from her mother on Wednesday. It was not long, but very much appeared to have been written in haste, which did not surprise her.

_Longbourn, Monday, May 11_

_Lizzy,_

_You sly thing! Not a word when your handsome suitor dropped you off, and here you were, on the verge of betrothal! I don't know how you managed to snap him up, Mr. Darcy is so rich I expected him to want a wife as beautiful and demure as Jane. What he sees in you, I don't know. But Mrs. Darcy, oh how well that sounds! You will be so rich! Ten thousand pounds a year, and likely more! You will have such pin money! Lord bless me, we are saved! What a clever girl you were, to reject Mr. Collins for Mr. Darcy. Your cousin and Longbourn are nothing to Mr. Darcy and Pemberley! What good thinking, to marry him as soon as you can, you wouldn't want him to change his mind. Your stupid cousin said some foolish nonsense about him already being engaged, maybe you should get a special license and hook him before that other girl can claim him. A consummated marriage can't be overturned by anything, so be sure to do your duty on the wedding night. Don't worry about waiting for us to have the wedding either, we can celebrate later! Maybe in a smart house in town that you take for your poor, dear, mother. Your sisters are going to meet so many rich men now, and we need them to do it in style! We can give them such a proper coming out! Remember when you're buying all of your fine things that your sisters will need new clothes for the Season. Do you suppose you can get them vouchers to Almack's? My Lydia will get an earl at least, I'm sure! - Yours, etc._

Elizabeth was mortified. This letter was an embodiment of the behavior that Mr. Darcy had pointed out in his letter. She was still torn about him saying what he had about her family. She appreciated honesty in others, but at what point should tact filter that honesty? Could she blame him when she felt the same way though? She loved her mother, and was glad that her marriage would put her mind at ease, but Mrs. Bennet could be very ridiculous. She hoped they would be able to reign her in when she visited town for the wedding. She would need to speak with her aunt about how to keep Mrs. Bennet busy.

The following day, Elizabeth received a letter from her sister Mary. It was not often that she received letters from Mary, and she was surprised. The last had been the express Mary had sent to announce their father's death. She had a slight sense of foreboding as she opened it, even though this one had arrived in the regular post. She saw that it contained an additional short note from her youngest two sisters. She started with the one from Mary.

_Longbourn, Tuesday, May 12_

_My Dear Sister,_

_While I write to congratulate you on your engagement, I feel I ought to warn you that Mr. Collins believes Mr. Darcy is already engaged to Miss Anne de Bourgh. If that be the case, my dear sister, I urge you to extract yourself from your promise to a man you know to not be free to marry. It is imperative that a young woman conduct herself with the utmost integrity at all times. If you find yourself taken in by an undeserving member of the opposite sex, it is best show yourself above that behavior. Scorn him, cast him off, but do not allow him to ruin you and your family with his immoral behavior._

Mary continued on, sharing several moral extracts from Fordyce's Sermons before closing the letter.

The note from Kitty and Lydia was as follows:

_Lizzy,_

_We don't know how you can possibly stand to marry such a stiff, boring man! A soldier like Denny or Wickham would make so much better of a husband. Don't tell Mr. Darcy we said so, though. We don't want him to take offense and refuse us gifts. And he's better than Mr. Collins. He's been storming around the house in high dudgeon since Sunday church because you're marrying Mr. Darcy. He's probably just bitter because you wouldn't marry him. To be so rich! Do you think we can buy new dresses in London for the wedding? Will you have an account at a modiste in town? Maria Lucas will be so jealous! _

_Kitty and Lydia_

After reading both of the notes, Elizabeth rested her head in her lap. These letters may be private, but they were both perfect examples of how the writers conducted themselves, even in public. They appeared to be unchanged by the death of their father and their reduced circumstances. While her youngest two sisters were very young, they ought to conduct themselves better than this, especially since they were all 'out.'

Appropriate to say or not, it was becoming difficult for her to hold a grudge against Mr. Darcy for stating fact. Since the Netherfield ball she had been more acutely aware of her family's behavior, and had often found it wanting. She was grateful she had not seen him yesterday, nor was she anticipating seeing him today. Even if he did not know what they contained, her embarrassment at the letters she'd received in the past two days would make it difficult to face him.

That evening found Bingley visiting Darcy, per the latter's request. Darcy would have gone to his friend, but he wanted privacy for this discussion, and there was none to be had where his friend was staying. Miss Bingley's curiosity would not let them alone.

Darcy found himself growing anxious near the appointed hour, afraid of losing one of the few close friends he had after this evening.

He heard the commotion of entry in the hall and braced himself.

"How are you, Morris?" he heard Bingley ask as the door was opening.

"Perfectly well, thank you for asking, sir," was Morris' monotone response. He looked up and asked, "Mr. Darcy, do you need anything else, sir?"

"No, that will be all, thank you Morris."

"Yes sir," said the butler as he closed the door.

"You are looking more serious than usual Darcy, what is the matter?" asked Bingley.

"Good evening to you too, Bingley. How are you?"

Bingley watched him for a moment before responding, "I'm fine, but you look like someone died. You have bad news for me, don't you?"

"I do. Before I begin, please just let me say that I am sorry. You are one of the few good friends I have, and I hope that you still consider yourself as such when I finish."

"My God, what happened?!"

"Many things; primarily Mr. Bennet of Longbourn has died, I am engaged to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and we are to wed in four weeks."

Bingley stared at him in shock, "You are engaged to Miss Elizabeth? Jane's father is dead?" He was quiet for a moment before asking, "Why are you marrying so soon? Isn't Miss Elizabeth still in mourning?"

"She is. I believe you were aware that their family home was entailed to their cousin, Mr. Collins?" He waited for his friend's nod before continuing, "The family didn't inherit much to live on, and they are currently being very unwillingly kept on by the Collinses."

"Wait, how long ago did Mr. Bennet die?"

"About a month."

Bingley looked disgusted, "And Collins already came to claim his inheritance from a newly widowed woman and her five daughters? What are they going to do?"

"He did, and Elizabeth agreed to marry me if I took care of her family," he wasn't thrilled about sharing that, but had decided full disclosure was needed. His friend deserved his complete honesty.

Bingley thought about what he'd said for a moment, "She wouldn't have married you otherwise? Are you sure, Darcy? I know she wasn't fond of you in Hertfordshire, but I can't believe a girl in her circumstances would tell you no."

"She had already refused me. I asked her the day before she found out about her father, and she did say no, quite vehemently."

How had Bingley known that Elizabeth didn't like him before? Had it been that obvious to everyone but him?

"But you are engaged now. Did you ask her again after she found out about Mr. Bennet? Darcy, that wasn't very considerate of you. The poor girl was not in a place to be answering for her entire future."

"I am aware of that, but I also knew that their circumstances are very low now. I was afraid for her, and wanted to make sure she knew that I was still an option. She asked for a few weeks to think about it, and I agreed. We only became engaged about ten days ago."

"I suppose that makes sense. You said she'd refused you quite vehemently, though. What did she particularly have against you, and does she still hold onto it? You warned me against marrying a woman who did not feel the same for me. You do love her, I assume?" At Darcy's nod he continued, "Did she change her mind so quickly?"

Darcy braced himself, "In short, she refused me the first time because she did not like me, and no, she has not entirely changed her mind. I am working on that. This is where I must ask your forgiveness. Among other things, she accused me of 'ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister.' My cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, had repeated to her some comments I'd made about separating you from Miss Bennet. He did not realise that the lady I spoke of was Elizabeth's sister. I was wrong Charles, Elizabeth has told me Jane Bennet was in love with you."

Bingley looked stricken and was silent for a full minute before saying quietly, "You say Jane _was_ in love with me. Not that I deserve to still have it, since I was the one who abandoned her, but you are saying that I missed my chance and she no longer loves me?"

"I do not know. Elizabeth believes she still does, but she cannot be sure."

Bingley dropped his head into his hands. Darcy felt terrible. He might have thought he was following the right course at the time, but that didn't stop him from feeling like an ass for putting his friend through this.

"She was abandoned by me, her father died, and now she is losing her home. I feel so terrible for her."

"I am sorry, Charles. I should not have convinced you to walk away from her. Even if I was right about her not loving you, I should have offered my opinion without talking you out of finding out for yourself. I apologize for not giving you the credit of thinking for yourself. It was wrong of me."

Bingley kept his head down for several minutes before he sat up, face pale, and replied, "I have been questioning leaving her for weeks, but I was not sure of myself enough to do something about it. I should be man enough to make my own decisions, not let you do it for me. I might not be happy with you for being wrong, but it's my own fault that Miss Bennet feels abandoned."

"You are not angry with me?"

"I don't think I will be following your advice to the letter anymore, but no, I am not angry. I genuinely believe you did what you felt best, and you've never led me astray before."

"There is a little more that you should be aware of, so that if you decide to pursue Miss Bennet again, you are not surprised." Darcy took a deep breath and braced himself, if his friend forgave him this interference, he would be lucky indeed, "Miss Bennet was in town from the beginning of January up to a month ago. She visited Miss Bingley early on, and your sister returned the visit several weeks later, making it clear she wanted to end the acquaintance. I had advised Miss Bingley to do this, thinking that you weren't safe from Miss Bennet yet. I knew Miss Bennet was in town the entire time, and concealed it from you. Again, I am sorry."

Bingley looked horrified, "My sister has all but cut her?" He added in a strangled voice, "And you told her to?"

Darcy closed his eyes, "Yes, and I am not proud of my behavior. It was deceitful and beneath me."

He opened his eyes to look at Bingley, who appeared seriously annoyed.

Bingley rose and started to pace around the room, "I am not surprised by Caroline, she doesn't think the Bennets are good enough, and she's selfish, but really Darcy? Jane has every right to _hate_ me! How am I supposed to recover from that? What were you thinking?!"

Darcy didn't think that his friend was looking for an actual answer while he blustered. Bingley continued his march around the room, throwing his hands in the air and muttering for a few minutes.

He finally sat back down and asked, "What do you think I should do? How do I recover from this?"

"You still want my help?" Darcy asked in surprise.

"Well, you broke this, you can tell me how to fix it!" responded his friend.

"Bingley, you are entirely too forgiving. My God man, I would probably have refused to talk to you ever again!"

"Is that what you want? We are friends Darcy, practically brothers. We forgive one another. We also get each other out of scrapes. If you help me get out of this one, we might become brothers in truth. Yes I'm annoyed, but I'll get over it, especially if you figure out how to get Jane Bennet to forgive me."

Darcy just stared at Bingley. How did he get so lucky, to have a friend this forgiving? _How_ was his friend this forgiving? He would do nearly anything to help Bingley at this point.

"If it helps, Elizabeth told me she thinks you will make an excellent brother. We're both on your side, and we will do what we can to help Jane along. She's going to be Elizabeth's bridesmaid, and I was hoping you would be my groomsman. It would put you two together and give you opportunities to speak to her. I haven't asked Elizabeth yet, but I can't believe she would object to having Jane stay with us after the wedding. Perhaps time together would be enough."

"You think so? I hope so. I can't believe she loved me! She's such an angel! When will she be back in town? I cannot wait to see her again."

And Bingley was back to being Bingley.

The following day, Darcy called on Elizabeth. He wanted to see her and he needed to tell her that Bingley had agreed to stand with him at the wedding, as long as Jane didn't object. Hoping for another, but hopefully better, private conversation, he suggested a walk that was happily accepted.

After she'd gathered her outerwear and they were out of the house, she thanked him.

"I don't get nearly enough exercise in the city. I miss my country lanes!"

"I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling stifled, but I'm glad I can bring you some relief." He hesitated here, but decided to add, "I imagine that you will greatly enjoy getting to know Pemberley's park; it is ten miles round."

"You will likely need to send search parties out for me, I will ramble myself so far away! What fun, to explore so much," she replied happily. "I hope you have many miles of paths. As much as I love a ramble through ungroomed woods, I suppose it wouldn't do to come home covered in burrs and briar scratches. My mother's conniptions finally ended that when I was about fourteen, along with tree climbing, and I guess it wouldn't be appropriate to start again at one and twenty as a married woman."

She looked over at him with mischievously sparkling eyes and his breath caught. He wouldn't mind watching her climb a tree now and then.

"Perhaps not, but I won't tell anyone if it happens from time to time. I would hate to deny you the pleasure. Besides, isn't that what long sleeves and gloves are for?"

"You might want to be careful what you promise. I will keep you to it, sir!"

Darcy had never seen her so relaxed with him. He did not know what had caused it, but he was grateful. After the difficult discussion the evening before, he needed to have some acceptance. Bingley might be forgiving him, but he'd still strained their friendship.

He hoped a serious topic wouldn't ruin her good mood when he said, "I spoke with Mr. Bingley last night. He will stand with me at the wedding, as long as your sister doesn't object. He doesn't want to stand in between you and your sister on your wedding day, though."

"I will write to Jane about it. I'm sure she will not object. Was he very angry?"

"Not as much as a he could have been. He was very forgiving, but then Bingley often is. He has a soft heart, especially for those he cares about."

"Lucky for you."

"Yes," he answered simply.

"It is why you were worried that Jane would marry him without love, wasn't it? He would be too easy to take advantage of, wouldn't he?"

"It is. Charles is the kind of man who would give and give until there was nothing left to him. The wrong kind of woman could destroy him. I hope you understand that I meant no disrespect to your sister personally."

"I think I'm beginning to see that. To help put your mind at ease, Jane is the kindest soul I've ever known. She would treat Mr. Bingley's heart with the care it deserves, if given the chance."

"I'm glad to hear it."

There was a pleasant pause in the conversation.

"Mr. Darcy, I ought to tell you that Mr. Collins is telling everyone back home that you are engaged to your cousin, Miss de Bourgh."

Darcy sighed inwardly, so much for peaceful conversation.

"And do you believe him?"

"No," she looked at him seriously, "you wouldn't have asked me if you were already engaged. I may have thought it of you once, but I no longer believe you could be so dishonorable. I would like to know that your aunt has no hold of any kind over you for this, though."

"I can reassure you of that. I never even heard my parents speak of it. Lady Catherine started in on the idea of my and Anne's marriage after my father died. There is definitely nothing written down." He was quiet for a minute, "Thank you for believing in me."

Elizabeth smiled and gently squeezed his arm where she held it, "I know now that you are a man of honor, I am sorry that I couldn't see it before."

They moved to other topics and finished their walk pleasantly. Before taking his leave, Darcy warned Elizabeth that his aunt, the Countess Fitzwilliam, would be inviting her and her aunt to tea the following week. He reassured her that the Countess was nothing like Lady Catherine, much to Elizabeth's relief. Darcy was very pleased at Elizabeth's blush when he kissed her hand. The last two days had turned out so much better than he could have ever expected.

_A/N: Cool bit of fact, there was an Earl Fitzwilliam (4th Earl in his line) alive at the time of P&P. William Fitzwilliam had four sisters and one brother. His wife, Charlotte, was descended from the 3rd Duke of Devonshire (first common ancestor of Prince Charles and Lady Diana) and was the daughter of an earl herself. Where this breaks is the Colonel though, since they only had one son, Charles, who held the honorary title of Viscount Milton until he succeeded his father to become the 5th Earl. The Earl and Countess would be acceptable ages, but Charles would only be about 26 in 1812, not quite old enough to be the Colonel's older brother. I've named Colonel Fitzwilliam Henry after his mother's family, since it was so common to name sons after family. It's a little far removed, but not something weird (Brabazon - seriously) or another William, Frederick, or Charles. _

_I was avoiding naming any characters that Ms. Austen herself hadn't, but I find I can't keep that up. It would be weird for Lady Fitzwilliam to call her son by his rank and last name, and I couldn't really add her at all without something to call her. I like the idea of an antithesis to Lady Catherine, who is coming up next. :)_

_Kunoichi of the Moonlit Night - your comment was the inspiration behind having Lizzy get a bunch of letters from Longbourn. I'm glad you said it, because I agree, I wanted to see their reactions too! Thank you!_


	11. Chapter 11

(11)

The following Monday found Darcy in his study once again, though this time his sister was home. He was working through business matters when he heard commotion in the hall. Unlike the previous week, this time it was much louder.

Darcy heard his Aunt Catherine bellowing, "Where is my nephew? I must speak with him at once!"

This time there was also no pleasant knock at the door, Morris did not even open it as his aunt slammed through it herself.

"Darcy, tell me it's not true! Tell me you haven't made ridiculous promises to that ungrateful, impertinent girl!"

"Aunt Catherine, please, would you take a seat?" was all Darcy said. He knew it did no good to lose his temper with his aunt.

"No! I will not sit down until you promise me that you have not become engaged to that, that, grasping, social climbing, temptress!"

Darcy sighed, his aunt's behavior was hopeless, really.

"I am engaged, the banns were read for the second time yesterday, and I would appreciate your respect of my future wife."

"Have you lost your reason? You cannot marry that girl! Think what you owe your family! Why didn't you consult us before the banns were begun? You cannot possibly think to attach yourself to a woman who doesn't even have a home, and it is so much more difficult to extract yourself after the banns have started. She is a poor relation of my former parson for goodness' sake!"

"Aunt Catherine! I will ask you again, please do not disparage my _fiancee_. She is the daughter of a landed gentleman. She may not have a brother to inherit the family home, but that doesn't remove her from the gentry."

Lady Catherine scoffed and then continued, "What of your engagement to Anne? Where is your respect for her? Are you to abandon her for this nobody? Will you dishonor your mother's memory so easily?"

"I do not remember ever hearing of an expected engagement between Anne and me from anyone but you. My mother never mentioned it, nor did my father. Aunt Catherine, even you did not begin to say it until after his death."

"Your mother and I discussed it when you were both infants, and you were too young when she died to be told. Your father knew, but if he couldn't be bothered to tell you, it doesn't make it any less true. Now, when you should be bringing our dearest wishes to fruition, for it to be prevented by a woman wholly unallied with the family; of inferior birth and no importance in the world. Think of the condition of her mother's family! You will be laughed at, ridiculed!"

"Aunt Catherine, I will not ask you again, I care deeply for Miss Bennet, and I will not have you disparaging her honor in such a way."

Lady Catherine sneered at this, "Care for her! Ha! It is an infatuation, her arts and allurements have drawn you in. You cannot possibly love a woman like her, and her appeal will wear off. Then where will you be? Regretting your decision for the rest of your life. If you marry a lady of Anne's quality, there is nothing to regret."

"You are wrong about that, Aunt Catherine, I love her and will marry none but her. Even if I didn't marry Miss Bennet, it would not make a marriage between Anne and myself any more likely."

He was growing quite aggravated at her repeated slanders against Elizabeth. How did she think this would help her cause? It was more likely to result in the end of all communication between them. He would not stand for mistreatment of his wife.

"That is exactly what that ungrateful girl said. Listen to you, you've been taken in by her. I told her she would be the ruin of you!"

Darcy snapped to attention at this, "What did you say? You have spoken with Miss Bennet?"

"I have called on her. I thought she was reasonable. I thought she could be worked on. But she was an obstinate, headstrong girl. I could not get satisfaction from her, so I came to you. I see that you are just as unreasonable."

Darcy's heart slowed. What had his aunt done? What had she said to Elizabeth?

"Aunt, what precisely did you say to her?" he asked.

"I asked her to break the engagement! I told her she is of inferior birth without family, connections, or fortune. I reminded her of the condition of her mother's family, and I told her she should not quit the sphere in which she was brought up. She had the gall to respond that if you do not object, then neither should I! The impertinence! She is completely unfit for the position of Mrs. Darcy, but she is determined to ruin you and make you the contempt of the world! I told her about your engagement to Anne, and she brushed me off. I told her she would never be acknowledged by the family, and do you know what she said? That if I represented the family, it was no great loss to her! She was rude and unfeeling! She has no respect for the position of our family. She has no respect for rank. I am not used to such abusive behavior. I cannot believe you plan to embarrass the family by presenting her to the world as your wife!" she finished in disgust.

A feeling of dread stole over Darcy. Until that moment, he had not realised how Elizabeth could have been so offended by his original proposal. Listening to his aunt repeat nearly everything he had said himself, he saw. Her language may have been harsher, but he saw the insults he had spoken for what they were. He saw how he had not taken her feelings into consideration because of the resentment of his own for her. He saw the hypocrite he was now, offended by the words of his aunt while still feeling justified in his own. His cousin had tried to tell him, had explained these very things to him. He had heard what Fitzwilliam had said, but he had not heeded it. He had not acknowledged that he had been wrong to speak to her that way. Until this moment, he had still felt justified. It was no wonder Elizabeth was worried he would resent her and cut her off from her world; he had told her as much. He needed to tell her he knew he was wrong to speak to her that way, to even feel that way. He needed to reassure her that he would be more mindful of her feelings in the future. He needed to go to her now!

"Aunt Catherine, I am marrying Elizabeth Bennet, and there is nothing you can do to change that. I hope that you can come to be happy for us, but if not, I am sorry that our relationship will by necessity end. I will not allow my wife to be dishonored in such a way, and she will take precedence in my life. I must beg you to excuse me now, I have something very important to attend to," and he left his study and a gasping, huffing Lady Catherine, calling for Morris as he did so.

When his butler appeared he asked, "Can you please see that Lady Catherine is attended to before she takes her leave? I have had something important occur that I must attend to immediately, and I do not know when I will be home. Please call for the carriage, and alert Miss Darcy as well."

"Certainly sir, please let us know if there is anything we can do to help."

"Thank you, Morris."

As he turned to gather his outerwear, Georgiana appeared looking rather pale, "Brother, what is happening? Why is Aunt Catherine here, and why did she say such awful things about Elizabeth?"

"You could hear that?" Darcy asked, appalled.

"Some of it. I think the whole house could hear her. Her voice is rather...forceful."

Darcy sighed, "I will deal with that later. Right now I need to see Elizabeth. Aunt Catherine went to her first."

Georgiana's eyes widened, "Do you think she said the same things to her?"

"I do, that's why I'm going."

"Oh, Fitzwilliam. Please let her know that I cannot hardly wait for her to become my sister. I think she is wonderful," she said earnestly.

"I will, thank you, Georgiana."

He said goodbye and was out the door to his waiting carriage.

In the short ride across town, he thought back to the argument in the sitting room at the Hunsford parsonage. He recollected his manners and expressions during the whole of it, and he was ashamed all over again. He'd thought he was showing her how he'd overcome scruples to marry her, but now he realised he _had_ resented her because of his feelings. He had been frustrated with himself and had blamed her. In that frustration, he'd laid out all of the reasons he had tried to use to argue himself out of loving her. He'd used it as an excuse to disparage the people she loved without thought for her feelings. He had pushed her feelings aside, the same feelings he so desperately wanted to capture. How had he possibly thought that would work? He had already been proven wrong in regards to the Gardiners. He thought about the remainder of the Bennets, really thinking about them for the first time. He hadn't taken the time to get to know them because he hadn't thought them worth his effort. But if he loved Elizabeth, her family came with her. Shouldn't that be enough to make them worthwhile? His cousin had told him that if he truly loved her that he should feel lucky to have her. Did he feel lucky?

He arrived at the Gardiner house on Gracechurch Street, hurried out of his carriage and up the steps. The butler answered the door.

"Hello James."

"Mr. Darcy."

Remembering Bingley from the other day, he asked, "How are you today?"

James looked surprised for a moment before schooling his features and answering, "I am well, thank you for your concern, sir."

"Is Miss Bennet at home?" Darcy asked.

"If you'll give me a moment, I will check sir."

James left him in the hall for a just a moment before returning.

He came back with a disapproving look, "She will see you, if you'll give me your things, sir."

Darcy handed his outerwear to James and curiously followed him to the sitting room. He entered the room and saw that Elizabeth was alone, sitting in the window across from the door. She turned to look at him, and he saw her face was pale. His heart lurched. He left the door open, for James peace of mind and propriety's sake, and crossed the room in a few long strides, but did not touch her.

"Elizabeth, I..."

He was thrown off by her lack of anger. He had never seen Elizabeth so subdued before. Why wasn't she angry? And why hadn't he thought of something to say on the drive here? Where was her aunt? Had she been alone when Lady Catherine accosted her?

"Elizabeth, are you alright?" he finally asked, feeling the inanity of it as he said it. Curse his lack of sociability!

"I do not know," was her only reply.

She didn't know. She was still trying to decide if Lady Catherine's opinions would be the general opinion of his family and friends. She was worried about her ability to hold up to constant derision and the possibility that it might be her life now. On the other hand, she knew that Lady Catherine was a rather absurd, and it was very possible that no one else would even think that way, let alone so rudely express it.

Elizabeth also felt the sting of truth in some of Lady Catherine's language. She was acting mercenary, and it bothered her to be called out for it. She could pretend that it was fine because Darcy knew that she did not love him, and that she had not tried to tempt him, but she was still marrying him for reasons that went against what she believed in. She did not like compromising her values, especially for money.

She was thoughtful, but clearly not angry. Darcy was so used to her passionate responses to everything that he was at a loss on how to react.

"You are not angry with me?" he finally asked.

"No, why would I be?"

"Because my aunt was just here, and I can only imagine how awful she was. The little she repeated to me was bad enough."

"You do not control your aunt, she is her own person. I do not hold you responsible for her behavior."

"But it is because of me that she was here," he answered in confusion.

Elizabeth looked at him for a moment before responding gently, "Your family is a part of who you are, but I cannot hold you responsible for their actions. Yes, you can do your best to shield what you are not proud of from the world, but in the end there is only so much you can do. I agreed to marry you knowing that your family might not accept me. I won't hold that against you."

Darcy closed his eyes. She could say that because she knew all too well what it was like to be judged by her family's behavior. He had thrown it at her as a fault, but she did not return it in kind. His cousin said he should feel lucky to have her if he was truly in love, and now he could say with assurance he was. He opened his eyes and looked directly at her.

"I do not deserve you," was all he said.

That was not something she ever expected him to say.

"I do not understand."

"I have treated you abominably, and you are returning it in kindness. I all but coerced you into marrying me, yet you do not seem to hate me. How can you not? I feel guilty for doing this to you, yet I am selfish enough to not want to let you go. What kind of man does that make me?"

"You did not coerce me into marrying you. Had you compromised me, I would say it was coercion, but you didn't. You are a man of honor. I knew that before our engagement. I would not have agreed to marry you if I thought you were anything less."

She looked out the window again before continuing, "Besides, I have no place to judge. I have done things I am not proud of, either."

Darcy reached out and placed his hand on her arm. She did not turn to look at him, but she did not flinch, either.

"How can you say that? You are marrying a me to save your family from possible destitution. I would call that very honorable."

She turned back to look at him with tears in her eyes, "Forgive me, but I am marrying a man I do not love, basically for his money. I resented you for even asking me, giving this as a choice, yet I accepted you. While I am coming to appreciate you more, I still do not love you." She turned her face away at the last and whispered, "I am sorry."

Elizabeth took a moment and then turned back to him again, "When asked about it, I am evasive and allow people to believe it is for love, because that is easier than explaining the truth. How is that honorable? It goes against everything I ever said I believed to be important in marriage. I am a hypocrite, and I am ashamed of myself."

She stood and walked to a sofa and sat. Darcy followed. While it was hard to hear her say she didn't love him, it was not a surprise. How could she when he'd treated her so?

"I do not think you are mercenary. I knew you didn't love me when I offered the second time. You rejected me the first time, when you could have hidden that fact from me. That's when I knew for certain you weren't. Besides, I haven't given you reason to love me, my treatment of you has been appalling. Is this why you were sad when I came in? Elizabeth, whatever my aunt said, you cannot take her seriously."

"She did not say anything that I did not know already. When she declared me mercenary, I carefully answered to make it look as though I am not. It was deceitful, and I am not proud of it."

"Elizabeth, I do not see anything wrong with keeping what is between us private. My aunt has no right to know what is in our relationship. In fact, I prefer to keep this quiet. Not because I am ashamed, but because it will be easier on you if the world believes us to both be in love. Please do not feel guilty for it."

Elizabeth looked at him quietly for a moment, and then let out a small laugh.

"Five weeks ago, would you have imagined that we would be trying to defend each other, to each other?"

He looked surprised for a moment, and then smiled.

"That is ironic," he replied, "but I think it speaks well for our future."

"That I begin to think well of you, rather than jumping to the worst conclusion of the motivation behind everything you say and do?" she asked with a smirk.

"What have you said that I do not deserve? Elizabeth, my aunt's behavior has made two things very clear to me. First, that my words to you at Hunsford were rude and unacceptable. I cannot look back on that evening, and really, everything that came before it, without feeling heartily ashamed of myself. You were right, I am arrogant and conceited. I did not take your feelings into account. It is ironic, is it not, that while I scorned mercenary women, I assumed my fortune and position were enough to entice your acceptance? I had no doubt of being received merely because I had grown used to having my own way in everything and thought so well of myself. It is painfully humbling to acknowledge, but I am grateful that you are not afraid to speak up when I am wrong. You are good for me, Elizabeth. You make me a better man.

"Secondly, I have no right to accuse you of having embarrassing relations. My aunt was cruel today in a way your family could never be. She sought to order things to her liking through tyranny, and I am sorry that you were exposed to that."

Elizabeth was embarrassed at his confession, and felt guilty that she did not return his love. Unable to handle the uncomfortable feelings that came with that conversation, she instead chose to change the subject.

"Do you not think that the rest of your family will share the same opinion as Lady Catherine? Even if they are more polite in their expression?"

"I do not. I have spoken with my Aunt Fitzwilliam, and, while skeptical, she is predisposed to like you for my sake. She has promised to give you a fair chance."

"So you do not think my tea later this week will go the same as today?" she asked cheekily. "You do not think that I will need to offend all of your exalted relations?"

He smiled at the return of her humor. He sorely missed it when it disappeared.

"While I do not think you will be required to defend yourself to everyone, I have no doubt that you would be perfectly capable of rising to the occasion."

"So my impertinence knows no bounds?"

"I think you have enough energy to take on whatever the world asks of you. You are also, rather alarmingly fast, teaching Georgiana the same. Do you know that she has made fun of me at least three times since meeting you? I do not recall that _ever_ happening before. She adores you, and asked me to tell you so today, for better or worse," he finished ruefully.

She gave him another brilliant smile. He hoped those never stopped taking his breath away. Looking at her beautiful face, he felt an overwhelming longing to touch her.

"Elizabeth," he whispered as he reached his hand out to brush her cheek with his fingers.

Her eyes widened and she gasped, but did not pull away. She was too startled to react at first. Darcy's fingers were very gentle.

When her lips parted on the gasp, the temptation was too much for Darcy and he leaned slightly toward her. She began to tremble, which made him hesitate for a moment. He did not want to push her.

"Mr. Darcy!" Mr. Gardiner said a little loudly, but not harshly.

He had just come upon the open door and the couple sitting inside; apparently not a moment too soon. He trusted Mr. Darcy, but a man in love does not always think.

Darcy's hand dropped and he quickly backed away from Elizabeth with a contrite look on his face. He knew better than to put her in this position.

"Lizzy, are you alright?" her uncle asked.

They both stood, and she turned her face toward him, which she could only imagine was bright red to match the hot flush she felt go across it at the embarrassment of being caught.

"I am fine, Uncle," she murmured quietly, unable to quite meet his eyes.

"Where is your aunt, and how long have the two of you been alone in here?" he asked suspiciously.

"Aunt Gardiner is out at the moment," his niece answered, and her voice dropped to a mumble as she added, "and I do not know how long Mr. Darcy has been here."

Mr. Gardiner turned to Darcy with his eyebrow raised.

Darcy responded uncomfortably, "We have been alone for above a quarter hour, I believe. Please believe me sir, nothing inappropriate happened."

"Yet," replied Mr. Gardiner.

Darcy turned a little red himself at this response, but said nothing. Her uncle had every right to call his behavior out.

"I realise that the two of you need time to work out your differences, but I do believe you know better than to spend that time alone in a room together. While I am grateful that you left the door open, when I walked in your positions were not exactly proper. You will be married soon enough. Until then, I expect you to have a chaperone with you at all times if you are not in public. It will do Lizzy's reputation no good to have rumor of compromise circulating."

"Yes, sir," responded Darcy, knowing full well that Mr. Gardiner was correct.

"I understand, Uncle," was Elizabeth's quiet reply.

She was still trying to decide if she was happy that her uncle had interrupted. She knew it was inappropriate for them to be alone together, but she was naturally curious, too. She thought Mr. Darcy had looked as though he was going to kiss her. She was nervous at the prospect, but not entirely opposed to the idea. They were going to be married in a few weeks, and he would have the right to whatever he wanted then. The thought caused her to flush all over again. She had not thought about him exercising his husbandly rights before. She was definitely not ready for _that_, whatever it entailed. She knew some, from growing up around their farm, but surely it couldn't be like the animals, could it? Oh Lord, could her face feel any hotter? She desperately tried to think of something else. These were not topics to ponder in front of Mr. Darcy himself, nor her uncle!

Mr. Gardiner saw Elizabeth grow more embarrassed as she stood there in the silence. He wasn't sure what was she was thinking about, but he felt it best to move the conversation along.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Darcy? I do not believe we were expecting you today."

Darcy had seen Elizabeth's worsening blush as well, and while he was very curious at its cause, he saw what her uncle was doing.

"Ah...this was an unexpected visit. One of my aunts came, and visited Miss Bennet and then me. She is not looking with particular favor on our match. I wished to check on Miss Bennet, and reassure her that I have told Lady Catherine that she is not to interfere again. I apologize for coming unannounced, but felt it was important."

He returned to addressing Elizabeth formally, hoping that would help sooth her uncle's worries over his behavior.

Mr. Gardiner looked at Elizabeth in concern, "Are you sure you are alright, Lizzy?" he asked for the second time.

"I will be fine, Uncle. Mr. Darcy has reassured me on any worries I had, and his aunt wasn't that harsh. She mostly tried to bluster her way to what she wanted, to no avail. You know me well enough to be aware that tyranny doesn't work with me. She left here quite frustrated, I'm sure."

Mr. Gardiner smiled at the strength Elizabeth showed.

Darcy did not wish to leave Elizabeth's presence yet, but he thought they might both need time to think. This day had been emotionally draining, with the excitement of his aunt's visit and all of his self discovery.

"If it is acceptable to you, Miss Bennet, I will take my leave now."

Elizabeth found herself hesitating, "If you would like. Thank you, Mr. Darcy," she looked directly into his eyes, "for your concern at my well being."

She smiled again, and Darcy knew it was best if he left. Her uncle might read something rather mortifying in his eyes if he did not. They had provided Mr. Gardiner enough worry for one day.

He said his goodbyes and was back to his carriage in a few minutes.

Darcy reflected on the visit during the carriage ride home. He felt that Elizabeth had believed in his contriteness, and he had also noticed that she had not seemed to object to the almost-kiss, which thrilled him. She had indicated that he was growing on her. He felt very satisfied at that, he could not ask for more right now. Considering his treatment of her over the course of their relationship, he knew he was lucky. How she was beginning to genuinely care for him when he'd done nothing to deserve it, he didn't know. He wanted her to love him, but no longer just for his own sake. She would never be truly happy if she did not love her husband, and her happiness had become paramount to his own.

_A/N: I have always thought that, while Darcy genuinely loved Lizzy by Hunsford, it was a selfish love. He loved her then for what she could do for him. He wanted her smiles and her vivacity in his life to bring him pleasure. I think that was all he understood then. After her dressing down during the first proposal, he needs to go through some personal growth to be ready to love her selflessly. Instead of what she can do for him, it becomes about what he can do for her. When he does that, and then Lizzy sees it, that's what kicks off her love in return. Even though he doesn't realize it, he has been showing signs of this since Hunsford. She already begins to feel guilty here for not loving him. In the original his true love comes first and hers comes second, but we don't get to see the space in between so much. She will help reassure his self-worth when she is ready._

_I could get on my soap-box for hours about how I see selfish love as the downfall in so many relationships in the real world, romantic or otherwise. In the US at least, we are taught that people should be discarded if they don't bring us happiness. Darcy is by far not alone in thinking this is what love is. All types of relationships take work, they aren't always easy. That's what I always saw Lizzy truly giving him, the happiness that comes from selfless love._


	12. Chapter 12

(12)

On Wednesday, Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner made their way to Mayfair to visit Darcy's other aunt. This time they were to have tea with a countess, and Elizabeth was feeling slightly overwhelmed again. Never in her twenty years would she have imagined that tea with a countess was a possibility. Now, not only was she visiting her, but in three short weeks she would become related by marriage to her. Add to these feelings the worry over how she would be received after her interaction with Lady Catherine, and Elizabeth was not all that anxious to arrive at their destination.

Her Aunt Gardiner reached across the seat and gently squeezed Elizabeth's hand before saying, "You will do fine, Lizzy. I believe I've said this before, but I will say it again: you are a graceful, gently bred lady with good manners. Be yourself and they will grow to like you. Mr. Darcy has assured you that his aunt is determined to give you a chance for his sake. I think it is clear that this will not be the same as the 'interview' you had on Monday."

"I do not expect Lady Fitzwilliam to have manners like Lady Catherine, but I know that I will not meet expectations of what has likely long been set for the new Mrs. Darcy. It doesn't matter who I am, my station fails me before I even walk in their door. I do not like being judged by my position in society rather than myself."

"It is the way of the world, dear, and unlikely to change anytime soon."

"That doesn't make it any more right. I will never understand how anyone can think you are not an impeccable lady simply because your father had to work for a living, or me because my father didn't enjoy visiting town and neglected to provide a dowry. That women can behave as Lady Catherine did and have more 'importance' in the world is backwards. But you have heard my frustration on this topic too many times, and I will not bore you with it again."

"Lizzy, it does you credit to value people for who they are, and I hope you don't stop. Unfortunately you have to give people the proper deference for rank, regardless of whether they truly deserve it, for society to be pleased with you. It would reflect poorly on you and your future husband to do otherwise. I do not think you would do less than expected of you, but this is one place you will need to watch your impertinence. Believe me, I understand the wish to do otherwise."

"You mean that I should not allow my impertinence to turn into irreverence."

"Precisely."

Elizabeth sighed. "You are very reasonable. I generally appreciate it, but right now I'd rather you weren't."

Mrs. Gardiner laughed softly. "I'm glad you can be reasonable, even if it is against your will."

They arrived at their destination and were handed from the carriage, led to the door and had entered in a moment. Elizabeth no longer had time to speculate on what was about to happen, it was upon her. Her first glances around the entrance hall caused her to look at her aunt with raised eyebrows. While not ostentatious when compared to Rosings, this house was certainly grander even than Darcy's. Elizabeth had only ever visited homes comparable to this on tours with her aunt and uncle, never as a guest.

She wasn't given long to absorb it all, though, as their outerwear was taken and they were ushered down the hall with great efficiency. In a moment they were introduced into the drawing room of the Countess.

Greetings and curtsies were done, including the introduction of Viscountess Milton, Lady Fitzwilliam's daughter-in-law, and they moved to small talk. Elizabeth felt that she and her aunt were holding up quite well; the discussion was centering around the quality of fabrics and the fashion of the latest colors. Thankfully, due to Mr. Gardiner's business, they both knew what they were talking about. She found it difficult to read her future relations, though. Both ladies were watching her carefully without giving anything away themselves. They were both polite, however, and Elizabeth began to relax as it became apparent she would not be required to defend herself against an inquisition today.

Soon the conversation moved to the paintings in the room. Mrs. Gardiner expressed interest in one across the room, and Lady Milton offered to show it to her with alacrity. Mrs. Gardiner saw what the ladies were about, but felt Elizabeth would be fine. Lady Fitzwilliam had been gracious so far, and she did not expect that to change. It was apparent her future aunt had something she wished to discuss with Elizabeth.

Lady Fitzwilliam waited until they were out of hearing and turned to Elizabeth.

"Miss Bennet, I would like to speak frankly with you for a moment if you please."

Elizabeth found herself startled out of her complacency. Apparently she was not escaping inquisition after all.

"As long as you do not mind frank replies, Lady Fitzwilliam," she replied.

"I expect nothing less. Now, my nephew has explained your situation to me, and also the current status of your affection, or lack thereof, for him. I think you will understand that I am concerned for him. He appears to be rather blindly in love with you."

Elizabeth found her ire rising, but pushed it down in an attempt to stay civil. She knew that his relatives would scorn her station in life, but it would be very irritating to have it pointed out to her by everyone.

"My lady, I do not know which 'situation' you are referring to, you will need to be more explicit. As for Mr. Darcy's love for me, I cannot help that. Believe me when I say I tried before we became engaged."

"The situation I spoke of was the passing of your father. I am sorry to hear that on your behalf, no girl wants to lose her father, most especially before she is wed," the Countess said calmly. She recognized what had upset Elizabeth, and had no intention of pointing out her lack of position. It was clear that both parties were aware of the difference in station. Darcy was determined to have the girl, and his aunt was much more concerned about the lack of affection on her side.

"Thank you, my lady," Elizabeth replied quietly.

The Countess looked at her for a moment, "You tried to discourage him, then?"

"It appears he has related many things to you in regards to our relationship. I am not sure exactly what you know, but I refused him the first time he asked, quite forcefully. I accused him of all manner of misdeeds, at least one of them that I found out later was not true and one where I misconstrued his motives. I myself do not understand how he could bring himself to see me again, let alone propose a second time. When he did propose again, I asked for time to decide. _Three weeks_ _later_ I asked him again if his offer still stood. I have given him several opportunities to change his mind. For some reason, he is determined to have me. Forgive me for saying this, I do not like to consider myself mercenary, but when he presented the possibility of saving my family from virtual destitution and I realised he is an honorable man, I saw that this future was the best for my family. I will not deny that I am gaining a secure future as well, but I am doing this primarily for the stability of my family."

"I hope you understand that I am not trying to be cruel to you, but I expect that you are likely the more reasonable of the two of you at this time. I do not understand where this love-struck business came from with Darcy, he's always been so level-headed. I do not think it is a good idea for him to tie himself to a woman who he is madly in love with but who feels, at best, indifference toward him in return. I worry that he will spend his life pining for something he will never be able to obtain."

Elizabeth was thoughtful for a minute before responding, "I do not wish to spend the rest of my life married to a man I do not love, either. I have always sworn that only the deepest love would induce me to matrimony, but I find that I no longer have the privilege of being so selective. It was never very likely that I would find a man who would be able to support me and fall in love with me in return. However, I never truly thought I would be put in this position, needing to marry for security. If it helps soothe your worries, I have learned in the past few weeks that I did not know Mr. Darcy as well as I thought. He is…" She paused, looking at the floor, clearly contemplating her words as she said them, "I find that...he has more good qualities than I realised. While I do not see myself falling violently in love with him, I do think it is possible for us to become friends. I was concerned about the very things you are before I agreed to marry him, but I now find myself not as worried as I was." She continued to speak slowly, still looking downward in concentration, as she said, "I think that we are both entering this marriage trying to make the best of it, and I am coming to see that it may be enough for us to be...satisfied. We may never be more than that, but if that is enough for him, I will make it enough for me."

Elizabeth continued to quietly stare at the floor. Lady Fitzwilliam had watched her think through what she was saying with curiosity. It appeared that her future niece was coming to these conclusions as she said them. The Countess let it be quiet for a few minutes, and then signaled to her daughter-in-law that the tete-a-tete was finished. She was satisfied with the knowledge she had gained today. Miss Bennet was not as immune to falling in love with her future husband as she currently believed herself to be. It was enough for Lady Fitzwilliam.

When the other ladies joined them, they continued the visit pleasantly, but it was clear to all that Elizabeth was no longer interested in their conversation. She tried to follow it, and was not rude, but was only making a minimum effort. Since the reason she was inattentive pleased Lady Fitzwilliam, she took no offense and simply wrapped up their visit. She was not particularly pleased with Elizabeth's family's position, but she was at least a gentleman's daughter and had shown that she had excellent manners when needed. The girl had weathered her own questions well, not backing down when she felt insulted, but responding with grace. She would do well enough in the circles of society she was marrying into.

Elizabeth did not have a restful night. She was thinking over the entirety of her relationship with Mr. Darcy and trying to decide when she had started thinking of him as a friend. She had stopped hating him after she read his letter, but she had preferred to avoid him anyway. When had she started looking forward to his visits?

She could readily admit that she was comforted by his visit on Monday after seeing his aunt. She had been relieved that Lady Catherine had failed to convince him of her unworthiness. Had that lady spoken to him immediately after their argument at Hunsford, he likely would have agreed with her assessment of Elizabeth's shortcomings. He had not shown any of the arrogance she had accused him of during that impromptu visit. Truly, he had been growing steadily more agreeable since their engagement. When Elizabeth had told Lady Fitzwilliam that she could see them becoming friends, she had not thought of it until that moment. Assessing their relationship now, she would say they were friends.

Elizabeth was not blind to the noticeable deepening of Darcy's regard for her, either. How he could be coming to love her more when she had accused him of so much and given him so little credit for anything good was beyond her. She was beginning to feel guilty that she could inspire so much love in him when she felt none of it herself, and had done nothing to earn it. He was proving to be a good man and they were becoming friends, but she did not think that it was anything close to love. She almost wished it was.

Darcy found the next two weeks very frustrating. Since Mr. Gardiner had caught them alone together, he and Mrs. Gardiner were much more careful at not leaving Darcy and Elizabeth unchaperoned. He wished the circumstances of their engagement were different, so they weren't so heavily scrutinized. If she wasn't in mourning or if they would've had a more public courtship, society wouldn't wonder as much. If they were of the same circle of acquaintances, there would not be suspicion of motives. He understood that it would be easier for Elizabeth later if there was no question of her honor and the reasons behind their marriage. He knew that her aunt and uncle were doing what they saw best. He still simply wished for private conversation with his fiancee.

There were dinners and teas back and forth between the houses, but much of Elizabeth's time was spent with her aunt and Georgiana. He was happy with his sister's developing relationship with his fiancee, but found himself exceedingly jealous at the amount time she spent alone with Elizabeth.

He had once come upon them in the music room at his house, where they had been playing together. The music had stopped, so he had gone to see why. Georgiana was holding Elizabeth as she cried and told his sister about her father. Georgiana had done a wonderful job of comforting her, and soon they were laughing together. He had backed away from the room before they noticed. He had felt himself unreasonably jealous of that comfort. He wished Elizabeth trusted him enough to talk to him about her father, but she rarely did. He had asked Georgiana about it later, and she had told him that they had been playing Mr. Bennet's favorites together, and that it had overwhelmed Elizabeth. Georgiana remembered what it was like to lose her own father, and how speaking of him had helped her the most. She was happy to offer that to her future sister.

He did find an opportunity to see his Aunt Fitzwilliam again, and she had rather cryptically said something to the effect that Elizabeth would do for him and she looked forward to seeing his wife blossom. The significant look she gave him made it clear that she meant more than she was saying, but he could not see what that was. He was grateful that they seemed to have taken to each other. She indicated that Lady Milton was satisfied, too. It was good to know he had the backing of more than his cousin Fitzwilliam when presenting Elizabeth to society. He knew it would be easier for her if she was accepted by most of his family.

The remainder of the Bennet women arrived on Thursday afternoon, one week before the wedding. After that, Darcy knew he would have to wait until they were married before he'd get any time alone with Elizabeth.

Darcy stayed away on Friday. Not, he promised Elizabeth on Wednesday when he was taking his leave after dinner, because he was avoiding meeting them again, but because he wanted to give her time with her mother and sisters. To himself, he knew he wasn't thrilled about spending time with Mrs. Bennet or the younger girls, but he also knew he needed to learn to do so for Elizabeth's sake. She had dealt with the inquisition from both of his aunts. While Aunt Fitzwilliam was an ally for their future, he knew she had been uncomfortable. She had not blamed him for the stress of either of those meetings. It was time for him to return that favor.

For Elizabeth, she was determined to spend her Thursday night and Friday attempting to gauge Jane's feelings.

After they'd settled into their shared room for the night, Elizabeth turned to her sister and asked, "How are you Jane, truly?"

"I am fine, Lizzy. It was a little trying to keep the peace these past few weeks, but not as bad as it could have been. I feel for Mama and the Collinses, trying to learn their new places. It cannot be easy."

Elizabeth watched her sister for a moment.

"I am glad to hear it. I still feel guilty for leaving you to deal with all of that. What about Mr. Bingley standing up with Mr. Darcy at the wedding? Will you be comfortable seeing him again?"

"I shall be fine. We shall meet as common and indifferent acquaintances," answered Jane calmly.

"And if he should show a preference for your company?"

"My dear Lizzy, you cannot think me so weak, as to be in danger now? I clearly saw more than was there when we met last autumn. I will always think of him as one of the most amiable men of my acquaintance, but he can be nothing more. It would be unfair of me to assign expectations to his behavior when he clearly does not intend them."

"What if he does intend that you should see his preference for your company? What if he does love you?"

Jane's eyes filled with tears at this and she trembled as she said, "Please do not say that, for my sake. Please understand that I have to think of him as uninterested. I cannot stand the thought of him being capricious with my feelings. I thought too well of him for that, therefore I must have been mistaken."

"Oh Jane, I am sorry, I did not mean to hurt you. I will not mention the possibility again, unless you ask me to," Elizabeth said as she hugged her sister. She felt remorse for prying and bringing up feelings her sister wished to leave alone, but she was also very worried about Jane's heart if Mr. Bingley decided to pursue it once again. While she believed that he was a good match for Jane, if he could be more steadfast, it would likely take Jane some time to trust him again. Her heart had been hurt too much in the past few months; with the death of their father and the Bingleys' desertion. Mr. Bingley would have to work hard to overcome all that had happened. She hoped he was strong enough for her sister's sake.

She wouldn't need to spend her time trying to gauge Jane's feelings after all, and her sister quickly changed the subject.

"And you, Lizzy, is your future husband growing on you? You've been quite circumspect in your letters, but I think he might be. While you are not praising him, you are certainly not disparaging him, either."

Elizabeth blushed at this. She hadn't shared with Jane her changing feelings toward Mr. Darcy because she wasn't sure of them herself, yet.

"I do not entirely know. I know that I no longer detest him, that I would begin to call him a friend. But Jane, I do not think it is love. I still cannot see myself loving him. How could I, when we are so different?" she finished with strong feeling in her voice.

"But you think you are becoming friends? That is good, is it not? You enjoy spending time with him now?"

"I do," Elizabeth replied slowly. "I was very happy that he came to see me after Lady Catherine's visit. He was so...pleasant that day, and really, all the times I've been in his company since then. I'm very curious to see how he does with the rest of our family, though. He has never done well when confronted with our mother and youngest sisters."

"They do have a lot of energy, which could be trying for someone like Mr. Darcy, who may be more used to a quiet household. But they are your family, and if he truly loves you, do you think he'll try harder for you?"

"You think he is simply overwhelmed by the energy our family has?" Elizabeth questioned incredulously. She was quiet for a moment before she went on, "I hadn't thought of that before. I suppose, the past five years it's been just him and his sister. But he must be used to being out in society. How could a man of his station not be?"

"Think of Papa, Lizzy. He abhorred society unless he was in the mood to laugh at it. He avoided even our modest neighborhood unless he felt he couldn't, and Meryton is nothing to London."

"You have said before that you think he may be shy, and he has told me himself he finds meeting new people trying. I believe he said it is difficult for him to catch the tone of conversation with strangers. Perhaps he has learned to avoid trying to meet new people and creating friendships with them because he finds it too hard."

"That could very well be. Not everyone enjoys spending time in large groups or meeting new people. You excel at it, so perhaps you can help Mr. Darcy along."

Elizabeth laughed at this, "I have a hard time imagining me smoothing Mr. Darcy's path into society. He was born to the life! But you may be right, that he merely needs guidance. It is good to know there is something I can bring to the marriage. He shall provide my entire family with a living and keep me in style, and I shall make him pleasant to the world. I no longer need to feel as though we are not equals."

"Lizzy, you may laugh at the idea, but that might be precisely what attracted him to you in the first place. Your vivacity and good humor is very appealing to those of us who are not as comfortable in large groups. You keep the conversation moving along pleasantly, and you help bring out the best in those around you. I know that it allows me to join conversations and not worry that we will have uncomfortable silences. I am able to add my thoughts without the attention turning to me. It is reassuring. Perhaps Mr. Darcy feels the same."

"But you always do fine in conversation, Jane! I have never seen you struggle."

"That is because when you witness my conversation, you are always there, Lizzy."

Elizabeth was astonished. She had never thought of herself that way. She wanted others to be comfortable, but she did not consciously do things to make it so.

"We all have our strengths, Lizzy. This happens to be one of yours. I think that you are a good fit for Mr. Darcy that way, and he recognized it. You may be very different, but perhaps you complement each other well. Have you ever thought of the places where you wish you were stronger? Do you know Mr. Darcy well enough to see that he has strengths there? You might be surprised to find that you will do very well together."

"I had not thought to look at us that way," Elizabeth said.

"It will make it easier to be married to him, Lizzy, if you can start recognizing his strengths and looking for the things that you can appreciate about him."

Elizabeth was filled with shame.

"I have been very childish, Jane. I have spent this entire time resenting having to marry a man I do not love. I never thought to look for things to love about him."

"It is not too late to begin, Lizzy."

It was not, and she was determined to try anew.

The sisters went to bed after that, but Elizabeth lay awake for a long time, trying to think of Mr. Darcy's strengths and weaknesses, and how they might complement her own. She would need to look for opportunities to understand him better. She finally fell asleep very determined to do what she should have done all along.

The following day was spent as a family, with Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner updating the rest of the ladies about her courtship so far, and they in their turn sharing how Longbourn was getting along.

As for the latter, Mrs. Bennet bemoaned the changes being made by Mrs. Collins; she did not understand why the way she had run things for years was not good enough anymore. They attempted to explain to her that Charlotte was entitled to organize her home how she saw fit, which was likely a reflection of what Lady Lucas had taught her, but to no avail. They quickly recognized that it pleased Mrs. Bennet to be allowed to have her complaints, so they patiently listened instead.

When she finished bemoaning her fate at having to step down as Mistress of Longbourn, she quickly moved to complimenting Elizabeth on saving them all.

"Your future husband is so rich, Lizzy! I am so proud of you, snapping up a man like that. Did you work out that nonsense about Lady de Bourgh's daughter? She is not going to steal him away, is she?"

"No, Mama, Mr. Darcy was never engaged to his cousin, that was a misunderstanding."

"Excellent! I knew that pompous cousin of yours was a fool. Now, what have you done about your wedding dress? And what about your trousseau? Goodness, what will we do about that? Sister, will my brother be paying for Lizzy's trousseau? I cannot afford to, but we cannot have her marrying a man like Mr. Darcy with the dresses she has!"

"Do not worry, Sister, we are giving Lizzy her wedding dress as our gift, and Mr. Gardiner has worked out the details of her trousseau."

"Well, how much have you already gotten? I need to see it so that we can decide what needs to be purchased yet. And the dress! I must see it. Is it sufficiently grand for Mrs. Darcy?"

Elizabeth and her aunt had planned for this, knowing that Mrs. Bennet did not think anyone else was as capable as her at making fashion decisions.

"Mama, my dress is still at the modiste; it will be completed by Tuesday, and we are going for my final fitting that morning. We scheduled the fitting so that you could go along. Our mourning will be right at the two months mark, so while we are all still in black, it is not indecent for you to be shopping then. We knew that you would wish to see the modiste, and this way you will be a part of the process of getting the dress. Does that plan suit you?"

Mrs. Bennet was very pleased with that plan, but went back to the trousseau, wanting to know what had been purchased.

"Nothing yet, Mama. Mr. Darcy has graciously made my trousseau part of the settlement. Since I will not be expected to go out into society until after this season is over, we will not be purchasing anything until after the wedding. It is not what is normally done, but we felt this was best. It would not do to have him purchasing my personal things before we are married."

"Goodness, no! We would not want you to look like a bought woman. But what a generous man! I never would have thought it of him, with his aloofness from last autumn. What a son-in-law you have gotten for me, Lizzy!"

She went on to try and wiggle out of Elizabeth what amount was settled on her, for her trousseau, pin money and what would be provided for herself and the remaining girls, but Mrs. Gardiner helped her avoid answering with specifics. They were worried that Mrs. Bennet would try to take a house for herself if she knew what the terms were, and had planned for this. In order to avoid her trying to guilt Elizabeth into 'sharing' her pin money, they had also decided it was best if they were vague about that amount, too.

Elizabeth had every intention of helping her family where she saw fit, but she did not want to set up any expectations over what Darcy had already settled on her mother. Her mother's intentions were usually in the right place, but she was often overzealous in her spending. She knew it was difficult for Mrs. Bennet to practice economy, and they felt this was the best way to keep her from overspending too much.

Overall, though, Elizabeth was very happy to be reunited with her family. Her mother's unrestrained enthusiasm was good to see. While there was an underlying sadness to many things that Mrs. Bennet said when they referenced Mr. Bennet, they were grateful that she did not appear to be falling into a black humor.

Elizabeth enjoyed spending the few remaining days she had as a single woman with her sisters. She might find them exasperating at times, but they were still her family and she loved them, quirks and all. They all wished to know about Miss Darcy, and were excited to meet her. Mary looked forward to finding another kindred musical spirit, and Kitty and Lydia hoped she enjoyed fashion, so that they might learn from her what was the latest to take back to Hertfordshire with them.

Elizabeth was glad that they were all anticipating the meeting with Georgiana happily, as it would make it easier for her future sister if they were welcoming. She relished in the lively chatter and the busyness of the room. It warmed her heart to be in the normal chaos of the women of her family.

She did take the time to reflect on how Mr. Darcy could be overwhelmed by all of this. She saw how it would be difficult for a man used to quiet to suddenly be thrust into what sounded like a veritable hen house! She was used to the conversations being spoken over each other, and the constant interruptions. They were not being rude, that was just how they were when they were all together, especially after having one of them gone. Even when she and Jane had stayed at Netherfield for only a few days, they had been this way when they returned. But for a man who struggled to follow a conversation with one person he did not know well, this would turn into indistinguishable noise. He had never been with them while they were acting as they did at home. She would have to work on ways to make it easier for him. She wanted him to be comfortable with her family, so that he could enjoy himself and she would not feel that she needed to limit their time with them.

On Saturday, Darcy and Georgiana arrived early for dinner. There were introductions for Miss Darcy all around, and the group soon found its way into small sets of conversation. Elizabeth watched them all for a while, and two things quickly became clear to her. First, Georgiana was loving all of the noise, and was soon conversing with her sisters with ease. She had been nervous about this meeting earlier in the week, but Elizabeth's reassurances must have settled her feelings. Secondly, Mr. Darcy was making a genuine effort to join in as well. He was still more reserved than the rest of them, but he was actively trying.

Granted, her mother was doing very well. She was rather overly complimentary, but she did not say any vulgar comments. Still, Elizabeth was very pleased to see his effort, and after a while she gently pulled him aside. Partly so that he could have a break, and partly because she wished to speak with him herself.

When they were sufficiently separated from the room, she asked him, "Mr. Darcy, will you tell me, do you consider yourself shy?"

Darcy was a little surprised by her question, but responded truthfully. "Yes, if you mean that I am uncomfortable around strangers and find it difficult to meet new people. I believe I've told you before that I am not able to catch the tone of conversation with people I've just met."

"You have."

"May I ask to what this question tends?"

She laughed and then sweetly answered him, "I once told you that I was trying to illustrate your character. Now I am trying to illustrate your disposition. I do hope that I create a more faithful sketch this time. I am certainly less prejudiced against you now, but as we both know, I can be very wrong in my judgements. I am hopeful this time, however, that you will help me along."

That Elizabeth wanted to know him further brought a powerful warmth to his heart.

He smiled and replied, "I believe it is my place to respond with 'I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours,' except this time I truly mean it. Are there any other questions I can answer to aid you in this endeavor?"

"Hmm, I should have thought this through more before I asked you the first question. I did not think you would answer me that one, let alone be so compliant with my request. Tell me, why are you so compliant this time?"

She watched him curiously while he blushed.

He did not look her in the eye when he answered, "I shall not deny that I find it gratifying that you would wish to know me better."

It was Elizabeth's turn to blush as she replied, "Yes, well, I feel it is better to know you than not, since we are to be married in less than a week. I am not planning to remain strangers for the rest of our lives."

He could not decide if it was better that her family and his sister were in the room or not, but he dearly wished to kiss her in that moment, and they were all that stood in the way of it. She must have been able to read the desire in his eyes, because she turned a deeper shade of red and then could not look at him.

"And why do you suppose it is difficult for you to catch the conversation of strangers?" she asked shakily, hoping to deflect his thoughts from whatever she could see in his eyes.

Since he could not act on the feelings, he helped her move the conversation along.

"I cannot read other's expressions and tone as I see people do. Your uncle, for example, was able to determine my character to his satisfaction by asking me a few pointed questions that invoked responses that he was hoping for in our meeting after you returned to London in the end of April. I do not see that emotion as clearly as he does. I more often misinterpret other's motives and feelings than understand them. I find it easier to simply avoid the process entirely most of the time."

"So, rather than being a snob," she replied cheekily, "when you are avoiding conversation, it is because you don't know what to say."

"I must be honest, there are times when I refuse to respond in hopes that an annoying person will go away. After some further thought on this, however, I will be using that much less often."

"You mean to say after my thorough scolding, I believe."

"I will say again, Elizabeth; what have you said that I do not deserve? To my shame, I have not always been gentlemanly in your presence, and I am not proud of it."

Elizabeth held his eyes with her own as she replied, "I have not behaved as a lady at all times, either. Neither of us has been perfectly well-behaved in our past, but I think knowing it will help us both in the future."

He smiled in return, happy to hear her hopes for a pleasant future for them.

They were interrupted here, with a question about Elizabeth's future rooms, which Mrs. Bennet could barely wait to see on the morrow. They moved back to the general conversation, both satisfied that their marriage in less than a week was looking brighter already.


	13. Chapter 13

(13)

The Bennets and the Gardiners attended Sunday services in the morning and then went to Darcy House for tea. The purpose of the visit was to acquaint Elizabeth's mother and sisters with the house where she would live while in town. It was also an opportunity for Elizabeth to see the results of the changes she had made to her rooms, and allow her to request anything additional before the wedding.

There was a full dinner planned for Tuesday evening, which included the Earl and Countess Fitzwilliam, Viscount and Viscountess Milton, Colonel Fitzwilliam, the Bingleys, and the Hursts. Due to Bingley staying with his sisters and brother-in-law, Darcy did not think it would be acceptable to ignore Charles' family. He preferred to give his friend an opportunity to meet Jane Bennet again not under the watchful eyes of his sisters, but it could not be helped.

The carriage pulled to a stop in front of Darcy House, and Elizabeth glanced around to see her family's initial reactions. At first they were all too awestruck to speak, but soon the commentary began.

"You are going to live _here_?," asked Lydia quietly, as she stepped down from the carriage.

Kitty continued with, "If this is what his London townhouse looks like, just imagine _Pemberley_!"

"Oh, Lizzy! You are going to be so _rich_!" added Mrs. Bennet, while on her way up the front steps.

Elizabeth just smiled. They were more vocal than she had been, but they were speaking nearly the same thoughts she'd had the first time she had been here. Mary was quiet, but she knew that her next youngest sister was excited to see the music room. She had found it difficult to fathom the indulgence of an entire room dedicated to musical pursuits.

When Morris let them in, it was Jane's turn to be impressed. "Oh Lizzy, it's just lovely," she breathed. "Not overly done, not too simple."

"I agree, Jane. I am grateful the Darcys have not decorated in heavy brocades and dark colors. The entire house is done in this style; light, lovely, but livable. You can see the quality in it all, but they do not need to show off their wealth. I cannot imagine changing a thing."

"Not change a thing?" scolded Mrs. Bennet. "Lizzy, you have to do something to make it your own!"

"Mama, I'm not going to change something for the sake of change."

"Heavens child, and you with a nearly unlimited budget! Only you, Lizzy."

"I have updated the bedding, window and wall coverings in my rooms. I think that is enough for now."

Mrs. Bennet shook her head at her least-understood daughter as the were led to the drawing room. She was quickly distracted by the new room, however, and didn't say any more.

The visit went better than Elizabeth had expected. Her mother and younger sisters were calmer than she had thought they would be. Mary spent time discussing music with Georgiana, and Kitty and Lydia interrupted to ask her about her dresses and how she trimmed her bonnets. When Mary scolded her sisters with quotes from her moral texts on proper comportment and manners of young ladies, they laughed it off while Georgiana watched their exchange with wide-eyed curiosity. Elizabeth knew she had been anticipating having all of the Bennet sisters together at once with excitement.

Mrs. Bennet's curiosity about the decor kept up the conversation among the adults. She had many questions, which Darcy answered patiently. Elizabeth was proud of Darcy; his quietly pleasant demeanor throughout the afternoon seemed to help her family along. He invariably needed to speak of his departed parents, and even then he did not show unhappiness. Elizabeth hoped this meant that she too would eventually be able to think and speak of her father without the overwhelming sense of sadness that usually overtook her. When her mother squealed in delight over the ballroom on the tour, when Kitty and Lydia's giggling grew too loud, or they could hear Mary's scolding, she saw his hand clench and he might flinch slightly, but those were the only outward signs he showed of being overwhelmed. He seemed determined to be amiable.

As her family was preparing to leave, she maneuvered him to the side enough to be able to whisper a quiet, "You have been wonderful today, thank you."

He smiled sadly, "While I am glad you are pleased, I am sorry that you need to thank me for being polite. It should be expected."

"Nevertheless, I appreciate your effort," she replied softly, gently brushing her fingers along his arm as she returned to the group and gathered her things.

He took in a shaky breath and released it before he said his goodbyes to Elizabeth and her family. After the door closed he barely whispered, "Four more days."

"What was that, Fitzwilliam?" asked Georgiana.

"Ah, I was just thinking that it will only be four more days until we do not need to say goodbye to Elizabeth anymore," he replied uncomfortably. He hadn't meant to speak out loud.

Georgiana smiled, "I can hardly wait."

He smiled in return; he thought the same.

The young ladies were all gathered in the Gardiners' sitting room on Monday morning, with their mother upstairs yet and their aunt in the schoolroom, when they were surprised by a visitor. To their astonishment, James announced Mr. Bingley. When they all rose to curtsy, Elizabeth felt Jane tremble beside her. She looked over and saw that Jane's face was a little pale, but she was controlling her surprise, and any other emotion she might feel, quite well. Elizabeth thought about what her sister had said the week before, and immediately stepped forward to begin the conversation.

"Welcome Mr. Bingley! With the dinner tomorrow, we are surprised to see you today, but you are of course very welcome."

"Thank you, Miss Elizabeth," he replied to her, but threw a quick glance in Jane's direction. On Elizabeth's welcome his shoulders had relaxed some, but he was still clearly nervous. "I ah, wished to offer my congratulations on your impending marriage, and also my condolences to you all, on the passing of your father. I was very sorry to hear of your loss." He continued to look between Jane and Elizabeth as he explained himself.

"Thank you, sir, on both accounts," Elizabeth replied. They were all quiet for a moment before she spoke again, "How are your sisters and brother, sir?"

"Well enough," he replied. Then, looking specifically at Jane this time, he said, "I apologize for neglecting you this winter, Miss Bennet. My sisters forgot to mention the visits you shared until a few weeks ago. They seemed to think it would not be important for me to know that you were in town. I was completely unaware."

Jane's countenance paled even further at this, and Elizabeth began to worry for her, but she responded with a quiet, "Think nothing of it, sir. I don't imagine many gentlemen concern themselves with their sisters' friends' coming and goings."

Elizabeth could see Bingley's deflation clearly. His face and shoulders both drooped at Jane's response. She was frustrated for them. They had both appeared to be falling in love so well last fall, only to have all of this between them now. She prayed again that Bingley would show himself strong enough to persevere for her sister's sake.

She was at a loss to continue the conversation. It was incredibly awkward to have them all standing there watching what probably should have been private for the two of them.

Bingley had come to see what Jane thought of him, so as to know how to go about wooing her. He could not decide if her comment meant she assumed he viewed her as his sisters' friend, or she had cared for him, but was now shielding her heart against the hurt he'd caused. Either way he wanted to kick himself for leading her on and then abandoning her. His friend and sisters had interfered, but it had been his weakness that had done this to his Jane.

Mary was the one who finally spoke up, to the relief of them all, and ended the moment, "Will your sisters play tomorrow, Mr. Bingley? I am looking forward to a musical evening, with Miss Darcy, Mrs. Hurst, Miss Bingley, Lizzy and myself. I certainly hope they do."

Bingley looked grateful at being rescued, "Ah, I am sure they will. I have not asked them, but I know they enjoy performing, and they have mentioned that Darcy House has an excellent piano forte."

"I myself am looking forward to seeing them again," added Kitty, trying to be helpful, "they are always so well dressed. I wish to see the latest fashions of the season displayed with their elegance."

"I do not think it will be any fun," Lydia said with an annoyed look in Elizabeth's direction. "Lizzy tells me there will not be any dancing, planned or otherwise, which I think is very boring of her. I am sure if she asked Mr. Darcy, he would let us dance. There will even be a single Colonel there! I should love to dance with him."

"But we shall be cousins by marriage to him on Thursday," replied Kitty. "I am sure we will have plenty of opportunities to dance with him in the future."

"Not if Lizzy has anything to say about it," Lydia responded petulantly. "I say Lizzy, you are becoming just as stiff as Mr. Darcy."

That was enough to spur Elizabeth into the conversation. She had been grateful to her sisters for carrying it forward, but Lydia was dancing close to rudeness. She would have to thank Mary and Kitty later.

"Have you been to any performances recently, Mr. Bingley?" she asked, feeling desperate. She almost wished her aunt would come downstairs, if only so that the normal introductions and then her aunt could take over the conversation. So much for Jane's faith in her!

"Not as many as my sisters would wish," he replied, tearing his eyes away from Jane to answer. "They are always trying to tempt me into an evening out, but I find myself not enjoying the season as much as I used to."

Elizabeth understood what he was trying to subtly tell Jane, but she could not help but be frustrated with his unhelpful conversation. That he would simply help her with a topic that was more comfortable to all! She supposed a man in love was not expected to act with reason.

He must have felt that he had learned what he could from the visit though, as he excused himself.

"Ah, I imagine you have many things to do this morning, with the wedding in a few days and all. I wish you all a good day. Know that I truly look forward to seeing you all tomorrow. Good day, Miss Bennet." He paused to watch Jane carefully for a moment, and then continued, "Miss Elizabeth, Miss Mary, Miss Kitty, Miss Lydia - good day"

"Good day, Mr. Bingley," they chorused and curtsied.

He bowed, gave one last long look to Jane, and left.

Elizabeth and Jane gave a huge sigh of relief at the same time.

Elizabeth laughed, "That was possibly the most awkward conversation I have ever been a part of. Normally I enjoy Mr. Bingley's visits, but I am happy to see that one end."

"I am sorry," Jane whispered.

Elizabeth quickly turned to her, "Oh, no Jane! That was not your fault. How could you have known he was coming? You have done nothing wrong."

"I was right Lizzy, it is worse to know," she continued to speak quietly. "If you will excuse me, I believe I need to rest."

Jane left the room as gracefully as always, and Elizabeth's heart hurt for her again. She knew her sister needed a few minutes to herself, but did not intend to leave her alone for long.

She turned back to her younger sisters, "Thank you, Mary and Kitty. I don't know what I would have done if you had not spoken up."

"Do you think Jane will be all right?" asked Kitty. "She looked awfully pale. I am worried for her."

"I do not know, Kitty. We shall do what we can to help her, though. I will go and check on her now, but can you help me tomorrow? I do not think we should let Mr. Bingley get her alone yet, I do not think she is ready."

"We all will," answered Mary. "She's the reason home hasn't been too uncomfortable these past few weeks. It's the least we can do to return the favor for the next week."

"Do you think she wants Mr. Bingley to speak to her at all?" asked Kitty. "She does not look to be comfortable with his mere presence."

"I think Jane still cares for Mr. Bingley, but I do not think her heart can handle another hurt right now. We shall see if she is willing to let him have another chance."

"Ha! He is rich and handsome," said Lydia. "She is a fool if she passes him up."

"Lydia! Please," scolded Elizabeth, "Jane has had her heart broken. Being handsome and rich are not the only reasons to marry a man!"

"Why not? Isn't that why you are marrying boring Mr. Darcy? So you can be rich? I know you could not stand him in November," she said petulantly. "You have to admit, he is handsome, not as handsome as Wickham, though. He's too boring for me. Thank goodness he chose you, you can be boring together."

Elizabeth closed her eyes and sighed. She had to remind herself that Lydia was not quite sixteen, and this was her age speaking. She decided it was best to ignore the comments for now and instead excused herself to see to Jane.

She ascended the stairs and knocked on her and Jane's shared room door. At her sister's welcome, she entered. Jane was sitting on the bed, looking quietly out the window.

"What do you suppose his purpose was in coming today, Lizzy? I cannot bear to think of him as inconstant, but I am not a fool. Am I only interesting when I am convenient?"

Elizabeth moved to sit next to her sister. "Jane, I think he is still very much in love with you. He said that his sisters did not tell him of their visits with you until very recently. I don't think he knew that they'd ended your friendship so rudely."

"It's been six months since he was in Hertfordshire, Lizzy. I realise there's been a season to attend, but Netherfield is not very far from town. If he was interested, wouldn't he have made sure I knew it?" Jane turned to her sister, "I cannot see why he would visit today if he doesn't care for me, but it does not reconcile with his ignoring me for six months. It hurts to think that he's been capricious with my feelings, but I cannot deny that it appears he has."

Jane finished this with tears in her eyes, and Elizabeth pulled her into her arms and held her.

"Jane, I believe that Mr. Bingley is very much in love with you, and has been this entire time." When she felt her sister stiffen, she hurried on, "I did not tell you everything that Mr. Darcy and I quarreled about when he proposed the first time. At the time, I did not see the point in bringing up a topic that would just hurt you, and until today I was not sure of Mr. Bingley's continuing regard.

"Jane, Mr. Bingley was in love with you in November. His sisters and friend followed him to town with the design of keeping him here. I knew this because Colonel Fitzwilliam, Mr. Darcy's cousin, let it slip while we were in Kent, not knowing that you were my sister. He only knew that Mr. Darcy had removed Mr. Bingley from what he saw at the time as an unfortunate situation. When Mr. Darcy proposed the first time, I told him that I was very angry that he had ruined your happiness. I told him it was one of the reasons I would never accept him. He was surprised to hear that your heart was broken. He did explain in his letter that there is not anything wrong you. He truly believed that you did not love his friend, and he was worried that you would marry him out of a sense of duty to the family. He did not wish to see his friend trapped in a loveless marriage."

She stopped and looked at Jane, to gauge her reaction, before saying, "Ironic, is it not, that he proposed to me a second time, knowing full well that I do not love him?"

"Did he say why he thought I was not in love with Mr. Bingley?"

Elizabeth sighed, this was where she was afraid of hurting Jane. "He watched you, and thought that you treated Mr. Bingley the same as everyone else. He denies hoping that you did not love his friend, but knowing now that he was trying to escape me, I do not think he was as impartial as he thought."

"But if I love his friend, he has no objection?"

"None." _At least not anymore _she thought_._

Jane sat up, pulled her knees to her chest and was quietly thoughtful for a few minutes. "I am not sure if it is better to know that Mr. Bingley loved me and could be convinced to leave me behind. I do not think I was that circumspect in showing my regard. I do not wish to be known as a flirt! Besides, even if he still wishes to pursue me, it does not speak well of his constancy. What if something else trying happens? I do not think my heart can do this again."

"Mr. Darcy did say that it was very difficult to talk Mr. Bingley out of returning to Hertfordshire, and that he has not been himself since. Today we could see that ourselves. I think he very much regrets leaving you."

"Do you think I can trust in his constancy now?"

"I think he will need to prove it to you, but if he does, I think he could make you very happy."

Jane laid her head on Elizabeth's shoulder and whispered, "I know. I love him, but I am scared. My heart already hurts so much."

Elizabeth put her arms around her sister again. She did not wish to offer vain promises, but she could give comfort and support.

Tuesday morning was busy at the Gardiners' house. Between the final fitting of Elizabeth's wedding dress and preparations for the dinner at Darcy House, there was little time for anything else.

Mrs. Bennet was excited to see the modiste where Elizabeth would likely go for her entire wardrobe, but was disappointed by the lack of embellishment on her dress. They had to involve Mrs. -'s help to convince her that there wasn't time to change anything, but she finally relented.

Mrs. Bennet soon recovered from her disappointment however, when the time to dress for dinner came. She flitted from room to room, crying out advice.

"Quickly girls, we do not want to be late for dinner at Darcy House with an Earl and Countess!" she yelled at no one in particular.

She soon chased Anna, the Gardiners' housemaid, from the younger girls' room, saying, "Oh! Do not worry about them, girl, go to Lizzy and Jane! They must look their best! We don't want Mr. Darcy changing his mind, and Mr. Bingley will be there! You never know what might come of it!"

Mrs. Bennet followed Anna into Lizzy and Jane's room, where they were calmly helping each other, as they had done for years. She immediately demanded that Anna help Jane with her hair, "It just won't do for meeting Mr. Bingley! We might need to wear grey and black, but there's no reason for your hair to look as though it is in mourning!"

"Now Jane," she continued, "Mr. Bingley has been away from Hertfordshire for more than six months. We must show him what he's been missing. You are always beautiful, but tonight you must be radiant! Do not fawn over him, though. You want to seem aloof; you do not wish to look as though you've been pining for him all this time. But do not ignore him, either! You wouldn't want him to think you've lost interest entirely!"

She left in the same whirlwind in which she'd come, not staying to make sure Anna changed Jane's hair. The girls watched her go, and then looked at each other and laughed at the confusing advice Jane had just been given.

"Thank you, Anna," said Jane, "but you do not need to change my hair, I quite like what Lizzy has done with it."

At Anna's hesitation, Elizabeth added, "Do not worry about Mama, she will forget what she told you before we leave. She will not say anything bad about you to our Aunt Gardiner."

Anna murmured her thanks as she curtsied and left.

"I am not sure you could follow that advice, even if you wanted to."

"Mama means well, though, even if she did contradict herself. I know she is anxious for our futures, more so than she was before."

Soon Elizabeth and Jane could hear their mother encouraging their sisters to look their best. There was going to be a single colonel at the dinner, and she didn't want to miss any opportunity for her girls!

"It is good to hear Mama being herself, isn't it?" Elizabeth asked.

"It is. She's been so upset these past weeks at Longbourn. I think worrying about our marrying well helps her feel normal again."

"I've always wondered what she'll do when she succeeds and has us all married off."

Jane smiled, "You are being a very dutiful daughter, Lizzy."

"Yes, and I am throwing the rest of you into the path of other rich men! Think what I am doing for your futures!"

Jane laughed, and then more seriously, she asked, "Are you happy to be marrying? Are you still worried about your future with Mr. Darcy, Lizzy?"

Elizabeth looked thoughtfully to the side as she replied, "I do not think that I am worried anymore. I do not think I will ever be violently in love with Mr. Darcy, I do not see that happening." She turned back to her sister, "But many married couples have been not much more than good friends, and I think we can be that. It is not what I had hoped for myself, but I am determined not to be sad or resentful because of it."

"How can you be so sure that you will never fall in love with him?"

"I cannot imagine myself in love with Mr. Darcy. While we begin to get along, and I know I need to try to seek out things to love about him, we are just too different. I'm not entirely sure what it would feel like to be in love, though, and I don't know if I will ever find out."

Their mother burst back into the room, "Girls! Girls! It is time! We cannot be late! Why are you just sitting there? Let's go!"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at Jane and they gathered themselves together to go. Jane noticed that her sister did not have a very good excuse for not falling in love with Mr. Darcy, and wondered if she was just stubbornly refusing to believe in the possibility.

_A/N: I was going to have the dinner as part of this chapter, but it's taking me a lot longer to get the dialogue for it where I want it. I find Caroline Bingley's head hard to get into! I realized that I have this chapter almost as long as I've been lately, and decided to get something up this weekend. I think chapter 14 will be the last one before the wedding. I'M excited to get there!_

_Thank you for the reviews. The positive ones this week were extra helpful, since I had a bit of a downer week. They're so uplifting when I feel that way! :)_


	14. Chapter 14

(14)

Contrary to Mrs. Bennet's worries, they arrived at Darcy House precisely when they were meant to. Darcy had arranged it so that Elizabeth and her family would be first. She was to be the hostess of their home in a few days, and he wished to give her a chance to act as such for the evening. He hoped doing so would establish his respect for her with Bingley's sisters, which in turn would help keep them from making disparaging comments. He knew their type. Bingley had told him that Caroline was furious when she found out, and that she had insisted it could not be true. He also hoped the presence of his noble relatives would restrain her spite.

They only needed to wait a quarter of an hour for the remaining guests to arrive, and Elizabeth quickly maneuvered Darcy to the side to speak with him privately.

"Did you know that Mr. Bingley was coming for a visit yesterday?" she asked quietly.

Darcy's eyebrows lifted in surprise, "He did not speak to me of it."

"I am not surprised, he was very nervous. I do not think he thought of how it would go; it might have been an impulse on his part. I do have to say that I am glad that Jane will not need to see him for the first time in front of a crowd this evening. While she is strong, she took that very hard."

"I take it she is not anxious to become reacquainted with my friend?"

"She was telling herself that she misread his interest last autumn because she did not wish to think poorly of him. His visit yesterday made it impossible for her to continue believing that. I must tell you that I finally shared what had happened last winter to keep Mr. Bingley from her. I felt I had to."

Darcy grimaced, "I am sorry."

"We cannot dwell on what might have been, but I hope that you agree that we should help them along if they wish it?"

"Of course, it is the least I can do."

"Thank you. I do not think it will be easy for her to put her heart on the line again, but if they are meant to be and no one stops them, I think they will work this out in time. After the wedding, will you allow my sister to stay with us if she wishes?"

While he was not thrilled at the idea of a houseful of sisters to keep Elizabeth from him, he knew that having Miss Bennet along would likely ease her transition. She would also make a good friend for Georgiana.

"We could easily invite Miss Bennet to stay with us, here and at Pemberley. I do not think it would be difficult to convince Bingley to follow. We'd been talking of them visiting in the summer before I left for Kent already."

Elizabeth smiled at him, "I am glad you are so willing to invite Jane. Maybe we can find an excuse for Miss Bingley to stay in town; then it would be perfect. Come, we should return to my family before they wonder what we are speaking of."

Elizabeth wrapped her hand around his arm and they returned to the group. As Darcy stood with his betrothed beside him, he relished the feel of her on his arm. Since their engagement, she had definitely become more comfortable in his presence. She did not pull away from his touch, and had even reached for him several times. He could no longer count the number of amiable conversations they'd had. This time they'd discussed a topic that could have been contentious, but wasn't. She had clearly forgiven him his interference. She spoke of them being married with ease.

He knew he had to be patient with her and could not expect her to be in love with him by Thursday, but the hope that she would come to love him was growing. That she no longer despised him was a wonderment in itself.

The Fitzwilliams all arrived together. Introductions were said around, and soon awkward conversations began to warm. Darcy could see that his aunt had meant it when she said they would support him whether they were pleased with his new family or not. He knew they considered it important to show a united front to the _ton_. If they did not scorn Elizabeth and her relations, the rest of society would hopefully follow. That was where his Aunt Catherine had been wrong; they would not allow his marriage to cause a breach in the family no matter how they felt.

Thankfully it was not difficult to find comfortable conversation. The Gardiners were excellent company all of the time, and Mrs. Bennet was so in awe of meeting an Earl and Countess that she was barely speaking. She appeared to be simply taking in the elegance around her. Kitty and Lydia were giggly as usual, but it was not out of hand. Mary and Jane kept company with Georgiana and were easily joined by Lady Milton.

Elizabeth looked around, quite pleased. She knew they had to get through the entire evening yet, but it the beginning was boding well for the remainder. She knew that her family were not always at the extreme they'd shown at the Netherfield Ball. Emotions and excitement had been running high that night. Tonight was more subdued, and she hoped the party would stay that way.

Colonel Fitzwilliam approached her and Darcy and offered his congratulations, "Miss Bennet, lovely as always. Glad you decided to put my cousin out of his misery." He bowed over her hand and kissed it lightly, to Darcy's annoyance, and added, "I'm happy to have you in the family; you'll be good for him. He's too serious most of the time." He winked at Darcy as he released her hand.

Darcy reached for the hand and added it to his arm by her other one as he said dryly, "Really, Fitzwilliam, find your own wife. This one's taken."

A wicked grin crossed Fitzwilliam's face as he replied, "Technically I have a whole day and a half to try and get her for myself."

Elizabeth barely controlled the volume on the burst of laughter that came out of her at the jab and Darcy's resulting glare.

She pressed Darcy's arm gently as she responded sweetly, "A red coat hasn't been known to make me swoon, Colonel. I'm afraid you're simply too late."

Fitzwilliam sighed, "The red coat usually does it, too. Perhaps one of your younger sisters isn't so immune? I know Miss Bennet is probably not interested, but if they're anything like you..."

It was Darcy's turn to barely control his laughter, "I dare you to find out, Cousin."

"Not so similar, eh?"

"They are...energetic," replied Elizabeth.

Colonel Fitzwilliam looked at her shrewdly, then appeared to catch her meaning before saying, "I think I'll take your word for it."

The Colonel soon moved to speak with his brother, and then the Bingleys and Hursts were announced. Darcy performed the introductions between his family and the newcomers. Miss Bingley was almost sweet to him and showed impeccable manners when her turn came to speak to his titled family, but when she came to Elizabeth's family, her manner stiffened.

She reached Elizabeth and coldly said, "Miss Eliza." She tipped her head but added no greeting.

Still, Elizabeth felt snubbing was preferable to negative commentary. She replied with a small curtsy and a kind, "Miss Bingley, good evening."

She felt a little sorry for Miss Bingley. She had so obviously pinned her hopes on Mr. Darcy. It must be difficult for her to see Elizabeth, whom she'd already considered inferior, on his arm.

When Mr. Bingley followed his sister, Elizabeth's face brightened. He was subdued, but she did not let that worry her. "Mr. Bingley, it is delightful to see you again. I hope, with my impending marriage, we see much of each other in the future," she added with a smile for his benefit.

He let out a small smile in return, "Always a pleasure to see you Miss Elizabeth." He paused, and then added quietly, "I hope so, too." Jane was not near enough to hear him speak, but his eyes glanced toward her. He excused himself and moved in her direction.

He hadn't given up, but the look of longing on his face saddened Elizabeth. She glanced at Darcy, who was watching his friend with a thoughtful expression. He glanced at Elizabeth and gave her a sad smile. She gently pressed his arm with her hand. She had concluded that he'd genuinely believed he was doing the best for his friend. She did not want him to think she still held his actions against him.

They were soon distracted by Mrs. Bennet's greeting of Mr. Bingley.

"Oh, Mr. Bingley!" she said a little too loudly. "It is so good to see you, sir. It has been too long. I hope we will see you in Hertfordshire again, now that the season is ending?"

"Ah, I haven't made plans for anywhere yet, but I would not mind returning to Netherfield. I had such a pleasant time there, among the neighborhood."

Miss Bingley interrupted sharply, "Really Charles, there's nothing to do at Netherfield. I wish you would give it up. I am sure there are houses in much nicer counties, with better society."

"I have a friend with an estate in Hertfordshire. I find it a very pleasant county," interrupted Lord Milton. "It's certainly nice to escape town in the winter when desired, without having to travel for days in bad weather."

Miss Bingley's only response was a tight smile.

"I agree, Lord Milton, that it is a convenient distance from town, and I find nothing wrong with the society there," replied Mr. Bingley, as he gave his sister a sharp look.

Mrs. Bennet could contain herself no longer, "Oh yes, we have a wonderful society in our little part of the country. But Mr. Bingley, have you seen Jane yet tonight? Isn't she just radiant?"

Mr. Bingley murmured a quiet agreement, trying to catch Jane's eye.

Elizabeth, still far enough away to not be heard, let out a quiet, embarrassed laugh, "She is persistent."

"Bingley was quick to move toward Miss Bennet. Even if I did not already know of his interest, it is clear that he is seeking her out. Your mother may be a little much in her encouragement, but we know her heart's in the right place," Darcy replied.

He looked over at Elizabeth and saw her surprise.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked away as he said, "I have recently learned that perhaps people are deeper than I give them credit for in my original impression. That just because someone views and interacts with the world differently than I do, it doesn't make them wrong. Even if we must follow it to stay in good graces, society's judgement is not always a good rule to go by, either."

"You mean that," she replied incredulously.

"I won't lie to you, I still find your mother overwhelming. At the same time, I am not blind to the fact that I am not perfect socially, either."

They were interrupted by the call to dinner, but Darcy's comments surprised Elizabeth. She was aware that his views were changing some, but not that much. That he acknowledged that society's rules were not always correct pleased her though.

They entered the dining room and found their seats. While Darcy normally would not have assigned seating at what he considered a family gathering, he had felt it was best to help this rather odd mix of individuals by doing so. He had put Caroline Bingley near his aunt and Lady Milton, and separated the two youngest Bennet girls. He had found that Catherine Bennet was better off away from Lydia, and he had placed the youngest Bennet between her aunt and oldest sister. They seemed to do the best at keeping her quiet. He had hoped to help Bingley along by seating him near Miss Bennet, and had put Mrs. Bennet next to her brother. For the remainder he had taken precedence in to consideration, but otherwise not worried too much about it.

As she sat next to him, Elizabeth commented on it. "Did you ask the Colonel for strategy ideas? I see you have carefully placed key members of the group."

"A good host always considers his guests' comfort, my dear," he murmured in reply.

To his happiness, she blushed at his term of endearment. She found herself off-balance from his comments about her mother and now his familiarity.

Darcy looked over and noticed her perplexed expression. "Are you alright, Elizabeth?"

"Yes," she replied distractedly. She was struggling to reconcile his current manner with what she knew of him. She had not thought him so capable of considering others. He had been more polite recently, but this, tonight, was a fundamental change in how he viewed the world. Was it only two months ago that she'd accused him of being selfishly inconsiderate of others? He was being very considerate tonight. Could one truly change that much in such a short time?

She wished for time alone to consider these new thoughts. She could not ignore everyone at the table while she tried to work out what she knew of the man beside her.

Darcy was watching her with increasing concern. Elizabeth appeared almost upset, and he could not figure out what he'd said to cause it. If she didn't like his forward speech, she would have told him.

"Elizabeth, did I say something wrong?" he finally whispered.

Her head snapped up as she said almost sharply, "No!" She blushed when she remembered where they were and attempted to compose herself.

Their nearest neighbors turned to look at them. Darcy nodded to the footmen to begin serving the first course, hoping that it would distract the table from them. He was relieved when it appeared to work, but he needed to find out what was wrong with Elizabeth.

He waited until the soup had been served before glancing her way again. She appeared to be less distracted now, but still not herself.

"Elizabeth?" he simply asked.

"You did not do anything wrong. To the contrary, I am finding myself frantically trying to sketch your character again, and this is not the place to do it. I am desperately wishing for a country lane at the moment."

He relaxed at her last comment. If she could laugh at herself then he believed that she was not angry with him.

"To what do I owe this frantic sketching?"

She looked him directly in the eyes as she replied, "Jane once accused me of trying to keep you in the box where I had initially put you, and being frustrated because you wouldn't stay there. I find that you have now crushed the box and I do not know what to do with myself because of it."

"I've crushed the box?" he asked, slightly confused. He assumed they were still discussing his character, but wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"I thought I knew exactly who you were, and I find that I did not know you at all. It is very disconcerting for someone who considers herself a quick study of character to find out she was completely wrong," she explained.

He was interrupted by his aunt, just down the table from them, asking him a question that he did not hear. He realised that they had been having their whispered discussion rather rudely while ignoring everyone around them. Elizabeth was right, this was not the place for it. Oh how he wished to keep this conversation going though! She had piqued his curiosity about her changing view of him, but he needed to return to being host.

He glanced around the table and saw that everyone else had nearly finished their soup, and he and Elizabeth had barely touched theirs. As his eyes scanned past Miss Bingley, he noticed she had not tasted much of hers either, and was looking at Elizabeth with a disgusted expression. He sighed to himself; he was not helping Elizabeth by monopolizing her attention this way. When his eyes met his aunt's again she gave him a slight smirk and repeated her question.

"Darcy dear, do you know how much longer you will be staying in London after the wedding?"

"Elizabeth and I have not discussed it, but I don't imagine much more than a few weeks. We have some affairs to settle, but with the season all but over and the warm weather coming, I am for Pemberley as soon as may be."

He glanced at Elizabeth, and saw that she did not seem displeased by the plan. He decided to add, "Miss Bennet, we thought you might like to join us in traveling north?"

He saw Elizabeth smile out of the corner of his eye, and Georgiana clasped her hands together in excitement. She was more than happy to have another new sister live with them, especially since she expected her brother would want to keep his new wife to himself in the beginning.

"But Jane, don't you wish to be home, since Mr. Bingley wants to reopen Netherfield?" interrupted Mrs. Bennet, looking worried.

Without so much as a glance in Bingley's direction, she replied, "I should very much like to see Lizzy's new home."

"I should like that very much, too," added Elizabeth.

Darcy looked at Bingley's very dejected face and knew he would have to bring his friend to Pemberley sooner than the originally planned August. He knew what it was like to feel as though he was uselessly pining for the woman he loved, and he truly wished to help the man along.

Mrs. Bennet looked as though she wished to say more, but her brother quickly distracted her.

Unfortunately Mrs. Gardiner was not so lucky, and Lydia managed to complain aloud, "Meryton is going to be boring this summer anyway. Colonel Forster's regiment has already moved on to Brighton. Without the officers there isn't going to be anything to do."

Darcy saw his aunt and Lady Milton's eyebrows raise, but thankfully Fitzwilliam stepped in and saved the moment.

"Colonel Forster? I heard he got himself married lately, is that true Miss Lydia?"

"Oh yes!" she babbled excitedly. "Harriet and I are just such friends, too! She said I could have gone with them to Brighton, but for our situation. What fun that would have been! Sea bathing would be just the thing, and I can hardly imagine the fun we would have had with a whole camp full of soldiers! Just think of all the balls and dinner parties they're having!"

Colonel Fitzwilliam didn't look as though he knew what to do with her response, and it was Lord Milton who helped.

"That is all you boys in red do, isn't it Henry? Dance and party the nights away?"

The Colonel snorted in response, "Of course. Wellington is just waltzing with the French, too."

"Oh Colonel, do you know, what is he now, the Earl of Wellington? Have you actually been to war?" interjected Kitty.

Much to Darcy's relief, this turned the conversation to Fitzwilliam's rather overly heroic, but thankfully dinner-table-appropriate, war stories. Talk continued without anymore awkwardness at least until the ladies rose to move to the drawing room. He and Elizabeth had not carried their conversation further, but he expected he would not find a chance to learn her thoughts tonight. Even when the gentlemen joined the ladies in the drawing room, it would be inappropriate as the host for him to continue ignoring everyone else. With no plans to see her on the morrow, he was afraid he wouldn't get to ask until after the wedding.

After the ladies left, Darcy enjoyed some good-natured ribbing about tying himself down from his relatives. Even Fitzwilliam kept it moderately decent, though, with Elizabeth's uncle in the room.

Elizabeth found herself more able to set the thoughts of Mr. Darcy aside when he was not immediately before her. She still wished to canvass them further, but was happy to enjoy the company of the evening while it was available.

The ladies started out conversing all together, but they soon drifted into smaller groups. Elizabeth was pleased with how the evening was going. While her mother and younger sisters had had a few moments that made her cringe, it was nothing like the ball at Netherfield in November.

Miss Bingley too seemed as though she had decided to be on her best behavior for the evening, until she began speaking to Georgiana on one side of the room. It didn't take long for Elizabeth to overhear Caroline's ever louder voice apparently relating to Georgiana anything Darcy had said against Elizabeth when they were staying at Netherfield together. Elizabeth wasn't sure what she was hoping to accomplish, but Georgiana was looking paler and paler by the moment. Elizabeth was just moving to intervene when Miss Bingley began speaking loud enough that the entire room stopped to listen.

"There was one evening, when we returned from some dull party or another, and I remember your brother saying about Eliza's reputed beauty 'She a beauty, I should as soon call her mother a wit!' Much to my surprise, he professed later to her being pretty, though I don't see it."

Elizabeth was furious. No matter what Miss Bingley thought of her, she should not be treating poor Georgiana to this! Her jealousy clearly knew no bounds! She didn't have enough time to reach her future sister though, as the gentlemen entered as she was moving in that direction.

Darcy rushed into the room, red-faced, and snapped, "And for some time now I've considered her among the handsomest women of my acquaintance. I find her sweet, fresh beauty much more appealing than the simpering, affected look of a woman who will use the paltry art of undervaluing another to recommend herself."

He gathered Georgiana on his arm and gently removed her from her position with such a glare to Miss Bingley that she physically shrank back. Mr. Bingley had followed immediately behind his friend, and he had a look of such mortification that Elizabeth felt sorry for him. She was by far not the only person with an embarrassing sister. At least hers were merely silly. He had to deal with one who could be vicious. He gave Mrs. Hurst a pleading look, and they both went to deal Caroline.

Darcy gently maneuvered his sister across the silent room to her aunt, made sure she was going to be alright, and then turned to face Elizabeth. He saw the furious look on Elizabeth's face as she watched the Bingleys, and his heart fell. Was it just two hours ago she had said that she was truly beginning to see him in a new light? He was certain that this would bring her opinion of him crashing back down. With leaden feet he made his way over to her. As she turned to look at him, he braced himself for the fire that would be in her eyes. To his infinite surprise, when she saw him her face immediately softened.

"Is Georgiana going to be alright?" was her first words when he reached her.

Her face had softened because of his sister, not for him.

He found it difficult to draw breath and reply, "She will be. She has not often needed to deal with such spite in her limited sphere, but this is not the first time she has heard Miss Bingley speak as such about another. I think she is more upset that the comments originally came from her brother."

"So you did say them."

He closed his eyes; he did not wish to see her face at his acknowledgement, "Yes."

There was a moment of silence, and he had just worked up the courage to see her condemnation when he felt her hand on his arm. His eyes flew open, he looked at the comforting hand and then back to her face in confusion.

She had a soft smile as she said, "I was not asking to condemn you, but merely out of curiosity."

"You are not angry with me?"

Elizabeth let out a light laugh, "How can I be angry with you? My sisters could share just as many awful things that I said about you when we were still in Hertfordshire. You can ask them sometime if it makes you feel better. I am angry at Miss Bingley because she was hurting Georgiana in her spite. I had not thought her jealousy would be so strong, or I would not have left Georgiana's side. I would be upset if I heard you saying those things about me now, but I cannot hold what you said then against you. It would be hypocritical of me."

The relief that coursed through him at her reassurance nearly made him weep. The feeling of knowing, definitively, that she no longer assumed the worst of him was overwhelming. The longing in him to _show_ her how he felt about her was so strong that the desire once again manifested itself in his eyes.

Elizabeth blushed a pretty pink at that powerful look. She wrapped the hand that had reached out to touch him around his arm and gently pulled him in the direction of her older sister. Even though this was not the first look she'd received of the kind, she still did not know what to do with them. Keeping the both of them in the company of one of their sisters seemed to be the safest path at the moment.

The remainder of the evening was much more subdued, with Miss Bingley being kept mostly away from the rest of them. Darcy found it fitting that a half-sleeping Hurst was assigned as her guard. Mrs. Hurst appeared to have given Caroline the order not to leave the sofa she was sharing with her brother in law, because she sat in that exact spot for the rest of the evening with a pinched look on her face.

He did notice a short conversation between Bingley and Jane at one point, but it was quickly interrupted by Mrs. Bennet, whom he assumed thought she was helping. His friend did not appear to make much progress, but still, Jane Bennet was not ignoring him. Then again, he did not think she was capable of snubbing anyone.

There was no time for more private conversation with Elizabeth, but he did spend most of the time with her by his side.

When the guests were all leaving, he took a quick look around to ensure that no one was watching and then placed a firm kiss on each of her gloved hands.

"Till Thursday, my love," was all he said, but it was quite sufficient to cause her blush, which in turn made him smile. He was coming to realise he quite enjoyed causing her to blush.

"Good night, Mr. Darcy," she replied with a soft smile.

Elizabeth left with her family for what Darcy knew was the final time. The next time he saw her, she would become his wife and he had no intention of leaving her side for a very long time after that.

Elizabeth's mind managed to stay with the conversation until she and her family arrived home, but she hurriedly readied for bed and then let it wander over what she had learned tonight. She might not love him, but she was beginning to become quite comfortable with the idea of marrying him. If he was the man he showed himself to be this evening, she was in for a much better future than she had thought. She did not expect to sleep tonight, trying to re-sketch his character yet again, but thankfully tomorrow was to be a quiet day for her to spend with her family. She would relish her time with them, but tonight she had important thinking to do. They would simply need to deal with her being a little tired on the morrow.

_A/N: Wow! I'm not sure what happened, but there was an explosion of new follows, favorites, and reviews this week. Thank you!_

_See you at the wedding. ;)_


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